Brains in his underpants...
My brother left his supposedly alcoholic wife about four years ago. My sister took him in and he courted our sympathy for a while. Then, surprise surprise, within a matter of months there was someone new in his life. What he’d failed to remember was that he’d actually let this little known fact slip, when as brothers, we were having a consolatory drink on the eve of him leaving his family behind. Both I and my sister knew about the “other woman” although her identity was a mystery for a while. Being part of a large family the whole charade was played out, much to our regret with hindsight, as our other siblings and indeed our own mother were to be fooled for an indefinite period. From my sister’s, he moved back in with his mother, which for an executive senior manager was very embarrassing, with the comings and goings of a grandmother’s house. He eventually admitted he was going out on “dates” with a certain female and my mother was relieved when he moved out into rented accommodation, despite still being hoodwinked about the affair.

For me, things were just as awkward, as we both worked for the same company and the obvious topic of conversation always reverted to gossip about my brother’s domestic arrangements, despite all the efforts to conceal the truth. Due to the constant speculation he then revealed the identity of his new partner and it came as no surprise that she was also an employee of the firm, but rather ridiculously I was expected to say nothing about it? As a keeper of the world’s worst kept secret, I instantly found my everyday life totally compromised. At work it got a bit extreme, some colleagues became distrustful of me and I found myself having to deny obvious truths to my bosses. Family life was no better, as myself and my sister who had been confided in, were expected to toe-the-line as events unravelled.

His new partner was introduced at the next Christmas gathering, which again wasn’t pleasant because his two children were in attendance at the party. Apparently, although she later admitted to being buoyed-up on Dutch courage, someone made a disparaging remark within earshot of the debutant and things went rapidly downhill from there. At the time, I was already in the black books for eventually admitting the truth, which was also common knowledge at work. Bizarrely, my sister took the brunt of this uncollated episode, but only months later. An opportunity came up at work for an overseas posting and it appeared on the surface of things to be the answer to his prayers. From the company’s point of view, at least the subject of all the sniping would be out of sight and for the couple, it would excuse them from all the awkwardness of his impending divorce, or so they thought.

The following October I became aware that my sister was becoming very distressed and it soon became more than obvious where the trouble was coming from. One night whilst visiting her, she came off the phone in tears. My brother’s new partner was now accusing my sister’s husband of making the derogatory comments from the previous Christmas. Sadly this was not an isolated incident, it had been one of many malicious calls made on the same theme and at what appeared to be deliberately timed to cause the most upset. I was angered by this somewhat defenceless tirade of abuse, after all, why wait until you are in another country and then chose to attack the spouse of the alleged perpetrator (who still vehemently denies the charge to this day).

As you can imagine, it did nothing for cordial relations towards his new partner and it wasn’t long before we twigged her game in severing all previous ties with his immediate family. As for my brother, as the old saying goes “love is blind”.
(minky, Sun 28 Dec 2008, 12:17, 3 replies)

My Goodness
I have never heard such rubbish referred to as a "problem". With all the troubles you have seen posted on this website, your biggest family "issue" is the revelation and disclosure of your brothers infidelity?

Talk about a non-issue. But I guess being free of worry about food, housing, character, and integrity, all you have left is microscopically minor issues such as this, lol. I truly pity you and your small world.
(OMG-Hilarious, Sun 28 Dec 2008, 18:53, closed)

You what?
The guy's brother dropped him in the shite and his new sister-in-law is a bonafide shitstirrer.
Seems like a perfectly valid reason for being dischuffed to me.
(Big D, Sun 28 Dec 2008, 19:31, closed)

The reality is...
His new partner has now successfully managed to fully ostracise my brother from his entire family. He has lost out financially in the divorce and forfeited his home. He has effectively lost contact with both children, one of which has special needs. His immediate family are forever torn over the way they have been subjected to this unwanted situation. The relatives of both families now feel like the innocent victims of this tragic turns of events. Our mother never gets to see two of her dearest grandchildren, likewise cousins lose contact etc. For myself and my sister, we both feel the same, only what can be described as akin to a bereavement, since brotherly love has been terminally withdrawn. Any family events are now tainted by the obvious painful reminder that certain people are missing from a family gathering.

If you feel my posting is so trifling, then maybe you have never had to deal with the aftermath of a personal family crisis. There are no rules or guidelines for extended families when separation and divorce turns nasty. The law may divide the goods and shackles of a marriage, but the rest of us are left to pick up the pieces. And what is most disturbing is that despite your best intentions of avoiding the situation, you are powerless to prevent it occurring. Be warned, it is a terrible state of affairs when you are involved merely because you share the same blood!

PS: I could go on, as recent events have only exacerbated the situation even further…
(minky, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 10:43, closed)