My nose!
I grew up (inasmuch as I have in fact grown up at all) in a commuter town in Surrey. Back then, it was all fathers were something in the city and mothers lavished attention on the kids. There were one or two spoilt kids (well, all of them except me and my brother, obviously). We had the kind of upbringing where you could "express yourself" but if you hit one of the limits, you could expect a spirited attempt to put another crack in your arse (to quote my mother, honestly!)

There was this one in particular. We only saw him once. I can't remember how old we were, but it must have been around five, six, something like that. His mother had decided that her spoiled crotch fruit should meet us for some reason. So, there he is, one-upping away: "My Dad's bigger than your Dad". Bro nods sagely. Our Dad's 5 foot 2 (but is trained in Kendo). "Our car's better than your car" - we had a grey Mini, but are rolling about in the back of their Volvo estate. More noddings. I simply stayed out of it as my nose is stuck in a book, as usual.

And so on, until he gets to the killer: "My koala bear is the koalaest bear in the WHOLE WORLD!". Sadly, my brother is unable to contain himself, and laughs in crotch fruit's face. As you would. Crotch fruit is mortally wounded! He will not have this! Vengeance must be sought!

And so... he leans over, and rakes his sharp fingernails down *my* nose! What had I done to deserve that?!?

I bled profusely. My book was wrecked, and I think I may have got some on their car. I don't really know how this got sorted out, but I do know I still have the scars, as my skin is as soft as butter. I tell this story from time to time, whenever anyone asks what happened to my nose. I wonder where he is now.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 21:09, 1 reply)

I am minded to get the shinai out
shuffle up and thwock him on the men.

*misses kendo*
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 21:29, closed)