"Accidental paedophile sounding scary bad moments of embarrasment and shame."
I have two, both involving my 6 year old neice...

1) About a year back, my neice and I were sitting on the sofa, just playing in a normal friendly way like you do. I was poking my neice in the arm and then looking up etc etc. Well, somehow (i can't remember the exact workings of it), but it turned out her arm was magical. So anyway she's pretending to be sleeping, doing really obvious and eccentric snoring noises, so I go hehe, and poke her in the arm. Now, what happens? She runs up to my mum and said "Gwandma! Matthew touched me in my special place when I was sleeping".

Dear jesus. My mum was pissing herself, and so was I. Later on when she told my sister about it, my sister looked like she believed it for a second. The bitch...

2) This time was about 3 months ago, with the same neice. I was walking home from school, and i was walking on one side of the road. My neice and nephew were walking along the other side of the road, and i'd just met up with them (they went to the primary school). Now, my neice has this habit of pulling her trousers up to her armpits and tucking her jumper in. Not just her tshirt, her jumper too. "It keeps ma belly warm", I quote.

Anyway, she's walking along, looking like I just described. I'm walking with my friends, and I shouted across the road, perfectly innocently, "Izzie, pull your trousers down!". Everyone laughed. A lot. "No no no, i mean lower! Pull them lower! B-b-b-because they're high! Too high! N-n-not because they- ".

Arrgh! The shame!

Sorry about the length...
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 10 Jun 2004, 12:34, Reply)