How much further is it to New York City?
I regularly visit a friend in Utah from my current Colorado location: the drive is less than eight hours in length and the scenery is gorgeous no matter the route I take. On a prior visit my friend told me this particular sort of thing happens to him about once a year but I had difficulty believing it until I was present for another instance. While filling up the wagon's fuel tank at a station, we were approached by a bewildered looking couple who asked us in better English than most of today's local youth, "how much farther is New York City? Which highway do we take?" Looking at my friend with a significant glance, I reached into the back of the wagon and pulled out a basic continental map for them to view. I asked them where they had started driving from and was told, "Los Angeles." I laid the map across the wagon's rear hatch glass and pointed out to them where LA was, where NYC was and then, right around our current location of Price, UT, I explained they had made it about one fifth of the entire way across the continent. Apparently a few tourists from Asia and Europe set up an open itinerary using the coastal airports as their arrival and departure terminals, then think nothing of hopping into a rental car and driving around between their two vacation endpoints. Seeing this couple's dismay at how much further they had to go (apparently it took them a day and a half to get this far), my friend quickly pointed out there was a car rental depot in town for their particular carrier and that if they wanted to wait a day for it to come through, they could book reservations on the train as there was a passenger platform in nearby Helper. It would still take them three or four days to make the trip to Penn Station but they could simply sit and watch the countryside go by instead of dealing with traffic during their journey. They very quickly thanked us for the suggestion and we gave them simple directions to a decent Internet equipped motel where they could relax and book their reservations for the remainder of their cross-continental journey. I have difficulty considering this to be a stupid tourist moment although the warning should be taken to heart for those wishing to make the sort of trip described: North America is BIG (about 4,000 miles coast to coast) so give yourself lots of time if you really want to drive around and see everything. And budget extra time once you hit the Mississippi: travel distances east of that river tend to take 25-50% longer than their western counterparts.


When I was a young kid living in Hawai'i was when I encountered the truly stupid tourists. I would regularly overhear such amazing phrases as, "where are all the grass shacks?"; "I thought I would see more hula girls walking around."; "Where are all the pineapple trees?"; and "climb that tree and grab me one of those coconuts."

The most unfortunate outcome regarding a newcomer to the islands I was present for was a newfound friend at college. He had lived his entire life in NYC and told us of his beachgoing prowess: often he would spend many long hours underneath the summer sun at his home turf and he was looking forward to experiencing what the islands had to offer. His first weekend, I and several other students took him to Waikiki, where we spent a good eight hours wandering around the shops, renting surfboards and, in the case of the NY student, laying on the beach and soaking up the tropical rays. However, he (and I) had not taken something very important into account: Hawai'i is a good twenty degrees further south on the globe's surface and as such, the sunlight striking the islands is far more intense in its UV content. During the van ride back, our avid sunbather said he was not feeling very well and I noticed his skin was turning a far brighter shade of red than I had ever seen on a human. After dinner and an unfortunate incident involving a meal that refused to stay down, we rushed him to Castle Hospital's emergency room. The following day we were notified he was safe to let go and were given the results:

First and second degree burns over 60% of his body coupled with mild radiation poisoning: keep out of sunlight until the dead layers of skin slough off; use lots of moisturizing lotion to prevent chafing and scarring; SPF 33 or greater sunblock (Bullfrog was still new and exotic back then) until the body acclimates to its new environment. In the long run, the story does turn out well: he ended up becoming so addicted to the beaches there, he remained in the islands after graduating and so far as I know he's still avidly bronzing his skin beneath the intense tropical sun.
( Felis Concolor, Fri 8 Jul 2005, 10:30, Reply)