First time hammered on spirits
I was about 15 and going through a phase where I thought KoRn were the answer to life's questions, so to speak. My best friend was an unbelievably spoiled rich kid whose parents chose to throw money at their problem rather than actually spend any time with him. This meant he had his own "wing" of their house that included a fair number of rooms and allowed house parties to happen without the other wings even getting awoken.

The night was a big one with plenty of people coming along to take advantage of somewhere to drink as a teen. A handful of us decided to get a head start before the masses arrived.

Fun Lovin' Criminals were popular at the time and with bottles of JD, decks of cards and a round table, we thought we were possibly the coolest group of people in the entire world.

Nobody knew that many card games so we stuck to pontoon since it only took about 5 minutes to explain the rules and about half of us already knew the game anyway. The penalty for winning was to knock back a shot (which probably measured bigger than a shot as we had no shot glasses and were just guessing). The problem with this system is that pontoon is a pretty quick game, and you're knocking back more than one shot a minute on average.

It didn't take long before people were getting cocky thinking they had such high tolerance for alcohol having drunk god knows how many shots and not actually feeling too bad. This was definitely the feeling I was getting anyway.

After a little while, we didn't want to peak too soon so we quit the cards and just sat round the table chatting. At this point, of course, I decided I wanted to listen to Korn very loudly and bounce on the tramopoline. I guess I was in one of those drunken states where it was easier to just say yes to me and ignore me than to actually try to rationalise anything I was doing since within about five minutes, I was bouncing on the tramopoline shouting "why don't you get the fuck out of my face" in my own little room.

After a little while of this, it dawned on me that I was feeling quite drunk, but not in the way I was used to (none of the slow burn of lager / whatever alcopops I'd tried up to that point) so thought rather than spewing up too early, I'd have a little lie down on the sofa in the main party room to sort my head out.

The moment I lay down and closed my eyes, I realised that the world was spinning so violently fast that I had no option but to vomit everywhere in an effort to slow it down the only way I knew how. After the first wave (leaving a small lake on the axminster), I crawled towards the bathroom which was but metres away.

Along the way I vomited a few more times, and before I could actually reach the bowl, I passed out in a pile of my own vomit halfway between the door and the toilet.

That was the end of my night, but not of everyone elses. It wasn't long after this that one of my other mates who was in a similar predicament had made a beeline straight to the bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach. As he darted round the corner of the bathroom door he tripped over my moist corpse and vomitted all over my head. Alllll over my head. So much vomit.

Apparently the party went on regardless with the pair of us left there, me in my own sick and him on top of me having a nice little sick every now and again so the old lot didn't dry out in my ear drums.

The next morning I woke up in the exact position I fell asleep in, feeling like absolute shit, working in bullet time as I worked out what the fuck was going on.

"Shit I feel bad, oh man what am I doing here? What's that weight, oh fuck, get off me man. Shit, the vomit. Oh fuck. Oh fuck! Oh fuck. fuck."

Instantly into the bath, pouring whatever cleaning products I could find to get the cocktail of barf off me. It was everywhere. My hair was matted, my ears were clogged, my face was crusty, my top was ruined, I was a fucking mess.


Strangely, despite not speaking to me for a while, my mate actually seemed to sort of forgive me and these parties continued. It wasn't until I broke his door that he finally snapped and there were no more parties at his wing for me.
( ma0sm, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 19:54, Reply)