Ship Ahoy
A former British Colony, The Dark Continent, 1982.

The gym teacher at our school, a very excellent and eccentric chap, called me up to see if I could DJ at a party he was involved with as he liked my record collection. Sweet 16 for the daughter of a rich oldtimer. Celebrities to attend, maybe even Mick Jagger. Sure, I'm in! What to do for a sound system? Hmm...mines too small...we'll have to "borrow" the schools.

Cover of darkness, sneaking onto the grounds, wink to the nightwatchman, slip away with the monster speakers and whatnot. Off into the hinterlands! Up and down and around and about on dirt roads...suddenly we're going down a long driveway all lined with candles. Voila le kidney shaped swimming pool. Voila le big tents full of tasty food. Voila le sweet 16 herself, dressed in fishnets and a t-shirt, and hotter than hell. I was 16 too, and had only seen pictures of women in fishnets. This was almost too much for starters.

Quick drink, quick puff, up goes the equipment, records out, music checks out, cool! Guests start to arrive, put on some dinner music, check out the scene. Tasty nosh, almost time to start the dancing when a massive thunderstorm breaks out. Run to the tents! Mud, hilarity, and suddenly...no power.

Well, so much for DJing. However theres plenty of candles, plenty to drink, and a high dose of madness. Some nutter finds a guitar and starts singing horribly. People are attempt to construct a diving board out of tables. Several (male) drunks invade the lady of the house's dresser and appear in her underthings, grab candles and jump into the pool. No sign of Mick. Broken glass, more weed, booze and mud. The beauteous sweet 16 flits by in her now wet t-shirt, sweet Jesus. Still no power. Debauchery decays, party winds down, time to pack up and get stuff back to school before daybreak.

Pull the car up to the tent, load the little used gear. Rain starts pouring again. Pile in. Oops, too much mud to get out the way we came. What the fuck? Head up there between those trees! No, thats no good. Try there! Ok, we're on our way.

Suddenly we are headed downhill, sliding thru the mud, breaks full on, toward the kidney shaped pool. Slowmo as we get closer and closer...and just manage to stop in time. Find a landrover. Give a tug out to the road, careen home.

They don't invite me to parties like that much these days, more the pity.
(Ennui Kissinger, Tue 18 Apr 2006, 0:04, Reply)