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This is a question Well, that taught 'em

Sammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.

One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.

ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."

What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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And her name was....
Nicola Allen.

There may be many in the world, and I'd hate to label the others as bitches... so *this* one used to live in Newbury UK.

She gets a mention here last week.. However her true caustic personality fails to shine. Ogwen - being the absolute star that he is - wears soft gloves while writing about her.

The guy with whom she was exiled Also has a name. David Wadsworth. Now.. you may know a David Wadsworth... If he's an utter ass and looks like this.. Then it's probably the one I'm talking about. I rather hope that somewhere one of his colleagues finds this and posts his picture on a notice board.

Ogwen and Nicola were about to get married.. but she'd been shagging one of his "mates" for a fair time. This he covered in his story... He didn't cover the aftermath.

Small things: Nicola was moving out. She "needed the fridge and sofas" .. fair play, Ogwen wanted rid of her, so they were a small price to pay. She came round one afternoon with her uncle to load them into a trailer, and the uncle was being pretty rough with them... Ogwen pipes up and suggests that he's a little more careful with them as Nicola was going to use them.. and the uncle stopped dead in his tracks.. "we're about to take them to the skip mate.. She said you didn't want them..." They both agreed she was a cow, and that Ogwen was best off without her.

She also embarked on a smeer campaign in her local community, saying how mean Ogwen had been to her and *That's* why she left... Lies. All lies. She was thrown out because she was a liar, a cheat and a gutless tart who used deliberate pregnancy as a tool to "keep her man". Scum. This might conjour up a mental image of lass wearing Kappa gear. Nicola was far from it. Her parents were more than comfy, Nicola and Owen met at university where she attained a fairly good degree.

On the night that had been supposed to be the "Wedding Night" Ogwen threw a "I'm NOT getting married" party. We all rejoiced, and Ogwen bedded one of Nicola's mates. Marvellous. He was happy to report that she was better, more adventurous and WAY more satisfying than his ex FiancÚ. HE emerged at 3am sweating and grinning "bloody hell mate.. thank god I didn't get married!!"

As a result of thier actions, Nicola and David were exiled by their former group of friends. David's mother even threw him out while screaming "How DARE you treat Ogwen like that??" They shacked up together. Unhappy, but clinging to what they had left: each other.

After a while Nicola came crawling back: Begging Owen to take her back and declaring that David Had a small winkie, was terrible in bed and absolutely NOT someone that she wanted to spend her life with... A silent and well controlled Owen merely pointed to the door.

After she left he e-bayed many of her more sell-able possessions: he then bought a new sofa.

As Ogwen said: he'd warned David that she'd get pregnant to "keep" him.... David broke the "joyous" news to his small group of friends when Nicola walked into the pub, 8 months gone and looking large. None of them had the faintest idea that she was pregnant... His explanation? "I thought I was out, but It was actually in". Ahhh.. the romance!.

So. well.. there's bugger all point to this really. They have a child and, despite not being happy together, they're getting married. Nicola will live her life with a lying back-stabbing little runt, and she in turn will have to live with the knowledge that she let Ogwen - a smart and caring guy loved by all that know him - She let Ogwen go.

Did it teach them anything?.. Saying it did would imply that bringing a child into this world together was some sort of punishment. That I think would be underhanded and a little cruel.

Maybe it teaches US something.
Ogwen since found a lovely lass who compliments him well. He's as happy as a pig in shit, and this summer she'll become a Mrs Ogwen.

Don't marry someone that you can live with:
Marry someone that you can't live without.

Length? Girth? ... Nicola says her future husband is seriously lacking.
(, Thu 3 May 2007, 8:48, closed)

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