Sexings.
The first time me and the first Miss Thunderwulf consummated our relationship we were in a corn field at about 10pm, on a lovely clear night, with a band playing shit metal beautiful music about a quarter of a mile away.
Her band had just performed, and I'd completely fallen in love with her voice, powerful yet angelic.
We walked off, hand in hand, until eventually the grubby stoners petered out and we found ourselves alone.
Natural urges inevitably took over (close up on camera two please, soft focus).
2 or 3 minutes later, after we'd both "ooh"ed, "aah"ed and "nng"ed to a sweaty, breathless conclusion, we rolled onto our backs and laid arm-in-arm, looking at the starlit sky.
Incredibly, there was some kind of meteor shower, and we spent the next half an hour watching shooting stars fly before our eyes, wonderfully happy, realising and declaring our love for one another.
Then we stood up and discovered we were covered in slugs and spiders.
Al fresco rutting: good if you like bugs, horrifying if you don't.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 12:09, 17 replies)

2 or 3 minutes?
Did that include the pizza too/
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 4 Apr 2012, 13:07, closed)

That was twice

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 13:09, closed)

2 pizzas?
Blimey, the stud.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 4 Apr 2012, 13:10, closed)

It may have been a minute and a half.
I dropped my stopwatch partway through so I'm not sure.
Anyway, you're missing the point. Slugs and spiders! No snails though, weirdly.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 13:19, closed)

They were probably
on the way.
(username failed moderation, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:02, closed)

I try to introduce slugs and spiders into my typical lovemaking ritual.

( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:01, closed)

There's a website for people like you.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:10, closed)

It's called Mumsnet.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Apr 2012, 10:22, closed)

Newsflash: "Outdoors" contains slugs, spiders

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:40, closed)

Pfft.
I know that now. Where were you when I needed you?
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:06, closed)

peering at you from the bushes

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:37, closed)

Masturbating like a coked up chimp.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:40, closed)

Flicking slugs and spiders at me probably.

(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:42, closed)

They weren't slugs

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 16:09, closed)

Haha.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 4 Apr 2012, 16:18, closed)

Bare arse + Mosquitoes = not good
The bloodsucking cunts.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:52, closed)

probably literally

(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 16:38, closed)