Keswick 2010.

Myself and Mrs Mustard head off to a stunning campsite in Castlerigg for a few days walking and breathing some fine country air.

It wasn’t the best summer so far but it was warm enough to spend a few days in a tent.

We arrived early to get a good spec, but it appeared that all the good specs had been vacated during the last torrential downpour and they had left very wet and muddy patches of ground. Which would have been a nightmare if it had rained any more (which it would)
It was up to me and my homing instincts to chose a suitable plot on a slight gradient for draining, but with ample privacy and enough space from any new arrivals. I had chosen well.

With the tent erected and the car unpacked, I opened the deck chairs , cracked open a cold one tilted my can to the missus and relaxed with a view overlooking Derwent water. It was a cracking evening and quite warm – one of the best nights that week… you could hear the birds and the noise of charcoal crackling from neighbouring BBQ’s… I was a very happy man.

Until I got a text on my phone. It was from my brother (who spends far too much time analysing the weather). He sent me a pic of the current radar image for Cumbria – where is was showed no cloud cover, but coming in from the Irish sea was a coloured blob, a red coloured blob. For those of you in the know, red on a radar image is the stuff you see from those clowns on the discovery channel chasing Tornados around the southern states of Yanksville. ‘It’s a mistake’ I mused – I was sat outside with not a cloud in the sky watching a stunning sunset.. ‘it won’t get to us, its too nice here…’

How wrong I was…

I thanked my brother for the update and said I’d ‘keep an eye out’ but can’t see the weather getting any worse. Families where playing badmington and other site games, laughter was in the air. I smiled at a German family in the tent opposite, sizing up their canvas house. It was like in terminator 2 when Sarah Connor is at the fence of the childrens playground before the bomb goes off with all the kids playing – the calm before the storm

With that, I take the liberty of storm lashing my guide ropes, and making sure they are properly anchored, I moved my car ever so slightly nearer the tent. I erected to wind blockers around the side of my tent too – just in case of course – not wanted to alarm my wife.

We went to the pub, then we hit the sack….

Midnight – the rain started – nothing I hadn’t dealt with before, but the wind was also picking up. The tent started shaking a bit… ‘looks like we’re in for a bumpy ride’ I thought.

1am. It really started – and got worse. My tent is a dome/tunnel tent with 3 poles/ribs and is about 5ft high and 12 ft long. The wind was pushing on the tent so much that the tent was now 2.5 ft high coupled with the rain and making a horrible howling sound. A man must protect this castle and thie require forward thinking. Opting for a flimsy fleece and trainers – I ventured out in my boxer shorts to chaos – all my guide ropes were out of the ground – my windbreakers were broken, and the site was just filled with dads trying to prevent their property from collapsing. I tried to peg the ropes back in but the rain had made the ground so sodden, the just popped back out again. I resorted to tying my tent to the alloys of my car.

I went back to bed (climbing over my fast asleep wife) where I lay, wide awake listening to every pole creak, and waiting for the tent to rip in half. I had to keep getting out every 30 mins to tighten the ropes and anchor the groundsheet, which had it not been sewn on to the flysheet would have disappeared with the first gust of wind.

I emerged at 5 am – with the storm still in full flow – and had noticed that the happy German family I had spotted earlier where nowhere to be seen, they had packed away a weeks worth of gear and a massive frame tent and got the kids sorted in less than 30 mins and bailed out of sight. I still wasn’t deterred and wanted to keep my castle safe.

7am and I stumble out of bed after about 7 mins sleep all night and analyse the damage. It was like an early autumn. The trees that were left standing had hardly any leaves on them and there was debris all over the place. I looked back at my nylon abode and smiled. It had been man vs nature and I had won (just) I felt like a gladiator…. It had been one hell of a storm – possibly the worst I’ve camped in and I’d seen it out.

My wife stumbles out of the tent with a look of surprise… ‘what happened here?’

Yes folks – she’d slept through the whole bloody storm.

Yet she can hear a mouse fart at home…
(Pat mustard, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 17:52, 1 reply)

wouldnt happen to look something like this:

(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 18:11, closed)