My across-the-road neighbours...
...never close thier fucking curtains. These days they're just nosey bastards* but when I moved in five years ago things were a little different.

When I first moved in to my second-floor rented flat, the pair of them seemd to enjoy giving me an eyeful. I wouldn't mind if either of them looked good in the altogether but they really, really don't. Y'see, my living room and kitchen windows overlook both thier living-room and bedroom windows and many was the time when I would turn around from getting something out of the fridge and BAM! Badly-maintained merkin, soggy waistline and fried-egg nips a-go-go in the bedroom. A few of my mates were also treated to a similar show, and were similarly unappreciative.

A few times too, the man of the house was inadvertently observed partaking of a hand-shandy whilst watching porn on his living room sofa. FFS, you'd think he'd close the curtains for that at least, especially considering the apparently modest proportions of his meatstick. He clocked me clocking him one time and instead of CLOSING THE FUCKING CURTAINS for his future episodes of groinal fiddlage, he instead adopted the practice of putting a blankie on his lap and having a tug under that instead. Didn't mask it so much as you couldn't tell what he was doing, but less need for eyebleach at least.

These days, they've been gifted with a Little Princess**, complete with those fucking annoying banners in the back of thier car so they don't appear to have quite so much freedom for thier exhibitionist antics. I for one am not sorry at this turn of events.

It could be said that I shouldn't have been looking, but what can you do? A moving object in one's field of view causes the observer to focus on it. I couldn't help glancing and by then it was too late. It was like a car crash. And as I've mentioned, it could also have been averted more than adequately by them CLOSING THE FUCKING CURTAINS if they plan to get thier bits out.

* I've rewarded this 'attention-to-detail' more than once by snogging the BF in full view of the window and once I was leaning on the windowsill with my back to the window whilst the BF played my pink oboe for awhile. The window is waist-high so there wasn't any public indecency involved which is more than they did for me, but I made sure the gentle rocking motion and the placement of my hands/arms left the observer (i.e. those two nosy twats) in no doubt as to what I was doing. A little cruel considering that they obviously get no action of thier own these days but after all the unwanted eyefuls they've treated me to it was the least I could do.
** Read: Shrill, spoilt little twat who appears to rule the house and every aspect of their lives these days.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 13:45, Reply)