Just a couple of tales from an abused liver......
back long ago (1990) a young boltneck had just finished the first part of his doomed engineering training and everyone there agreed it would be a good idea to have a party (mostly to celebrate the fact that we wouldn't have to set eyes on most of the twats on this course). A venue was found and much cheap booze was procured and then drunk. I found myself wandering round outside and looking for somewhere to sleep, when I realised that one of the lads (if you're reading this, sorry D) had driven down in his shitty blue mini with the idea of not drinking and making a few quid ferrying people back home. His car wouldn't lock properly and could be opened with a gentle tap just below the lock and bingo! Instant bed for the night!
10 minutes after I'd rested my weary head the sudden realisation that all the cider I'd consumed (on an empty stomache!) was about to make a desperate bid for freedom, just as D brought his first customers out for a lift home. You know in horror movies, when the victim gets gruesomely killed and the camera shot is behind a window and the blood splatters across it? Replace blood with 12 pints of farmhouse scrumpy spraying across his back window and you'll get the view that greeted them.
A few years later, myself and a few friends went for a quiet drink that turned into an epic session much to the annoyance of the designated drivers. One of the group, Mike, got so twatted it took 3 of us to bundle him in the car with his head hanging out the window "Just in case" It turned out to be a good thing as half a mile down the road, he unleashed an almighty torrent of red, green and yellow barf across the side of the car and due to the wind, his head. This in turn caused the rest of us in the car behind to collapse into hysterics, but coupled with the large amount of drink in me, I proceeded to puke right into the lap of my friend sitting in the passenger seat in front of me! End result? Damn near got my head kicked in and had to walk 6 miles home! Bloody funny though!
(boltneck sacrificed a smurf to Cthulhu on, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 21:36, Reply)