Tennis + 3Litre bottles of Omega Cider won't go
As a stupid 17 yr old (Rather than the stupid 32 yr old that I now am), my friends and I would often convene during the summer holidays to play tennis at Rodders' tennis court equipped house.

Of course just playing tennis wasn't enough, so we invented* DrunkyBall. This, as the name might suggest, involved drinking copious amounts of the cheapest strongest cider from the local Spar and then seeing how we got on with our co-ordination for striking a tennis ball. Surprisingly well it has to be said...

However, the inevitable happened one summer's day when we'd each consumed about 4 orchards each of the loopy juice. Stumbling back to the house for liquid refreshment of the water variety we all looked a bit apple green around the gills. I was fighting to keep a pot noodle down, Ed was similarly struggling with the leftover pizza he'd consumed. Rodders had wisely skipped breakfast.

None of us wanted to puke, as that meant game, set, and wretch for Drunkyball and at 1 set all, we had a long way to go. We sank the water and settled in for a brief 'change of ends' playing sensi-soc.

I was really wrestling now, not just with the joystick but with my gurgling guts. Ed stood suddenly and pronounced he 'had to piss' and so exited the games room. "Oh no you don't" I said - and promptly sent Jamie to accompany him to make sure he doesn't 'cheat' and puke in the bathroom, therefore handing Jamie and I victory.

Not long after they'd left the room I turned to celebrate a goal and midway through the oaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll section, hurled all over the room. Rodders just watched open mouthed as I destroyed his mother's beloved indian rug.

His next words - "YESSSSSSS, we won". His celebrations were cut short however when Jamie and Eddie returned, staring at the vomit all over the floor and a celebrating Rodders, Jamie simply declared. "No you didn't, Ed just hurled on your stairs."

"Yessssss!" I shouted.

It was declared a draw, and the only time I can ever remember celebrating someone vomitting.

*May not have been our invention.
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 11:47, Reply)