One Fateful party, millenium eve
this is one of peej's legendary parties. we're all about 17. our friend jimmy, who incidentally iirc was wearing some kind of dress, a large floppy dr seuss style union jack hat, and tights and fake titties, has partaken of a heroic amount of guinness, and ballycastle (lidl's answer to baileys) and was urgently summoned by his organs to perform his vesuvius impression.

" i need somewhere to be sick" he cried, looking wildly round the garden. foolishly, i gave him a tesco bag to perform his vile oral ablution in.

now armed with one rather full and dripping tesco bag full of what i can only describe as the bastard offspring of cottage cheese and creosote, jimmy, faced with limited disposal options, decided on the ONLY logical course of action. into the bushes? nope.
in the toilet/sink/bath? nope. down a drain?
no chance.

looking down the garden, at the garage and the tips of the chainlink fence beyond, jimmy decided a well-aimed trajectory culminating in the bag performing a graceful arabesque into the waste ground was the right choice to make. sizing it up like an olympic hammer thrower, he made his move. swinging the bag for all the world like a one armed man doing backstroke, he began a slow run, and triggered the automatic floodlight on the garage JUST in time to coincide with hitting himself in the back of the calf with the hurtling bag of spew.

the resultant explosion of shiny, sligtly lumpy brown globbets was ALMOST beautifl, far more so than jimmy, in drag, pissed as a loon, covered head to toe in his own cheesy vom.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Sat 9 Jan 2010, 1:49, 1 reply)

this is 100% true
It went up his lilac dress and in to his boxers too. It also sprayed all over the fence. Jimmy also gains points because when he was puking I asked him if he needed something to drink and mid vomit managed to spew the word "Guinness"
( Peej, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:22, closed)