oh god the memories/mammaries hurt me...
a while ago, i was a bridesmaid for a good friend. our dresses were beautiful, but they were two piece, with a very tight fitting top bustier.

both the other bridesmaid and i are very curvy up top. if you have DD boobs, there is no chance of going out in public bra-less. not if you don't want all the wrong sort of attention, anyway. you know, the "cor don't get many of them to the lb, luv" type. plus it's even more inappropriate when the bride has a chest like two pink smarties on an ironing board.

but these dresses were so tight around the bust that an ordinary bra would have been out of the question as it would have ruined the line of the dress. so i had a bright idea: we would get proper corset bras that were as long as the tops.

so bridesmaid 2 and i head off to top luxury lingerie shop rigby & peller, where we refuse all help from the sales girls - not easily done in there. they must work on commission for their £300 bras - and start falling about in topless hysterics trying to lace each other into these corset bras. i'm usually really prudish about stripping in front of my friends, but frankly rather a friend than a flat chested smirking sales girl!

about 15 minutes later, we are both trussed up in these cream lacy corsets with matching stockings. although they are so tight that our waists have disappeared and our boobs are somewhere just underneath our chins, we are worried about falling out, especially when hammered at the wedding.

so we start doing a bit of aerobics, bending down, jumping a bit, seeing if we bounced or fell out.

at which point there is a discreet knock on the wood of the changing room.

"excuse me, ladies," the flat chested smirking salesgirl hisses. "you haven't pulled the curtains properly."

we look up from our contortions in horror. shit, what is she talking abou - oh, there. ok, not too bad, bit of a chink in the curtain, but the changing rooms are round a corner from the main shop. could be worse.

we decide to buy the corsets (which didn't fit under the stupid dresses anyway) and get dressed, gossiping away. on the way out, however, we stand still in horror.

see, inside our cubicle is a mirror. and opposite the cubicle is a mirror. and on the other wall is a mirror. the effect was basically to bounce our bouncing antics around to anyone who had the grave misfortune to be in there. and if anyone has ever been to rigby & peller on a saturday, they know that (i) it is incredibly posh and (ii) incredibly busy.

gah. good job the wedding was worth it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Oct 2007, 15:17, 2 replies)

Rachel
That wasn't horror on their faces, it was sheer, unadulterated, bottomless envy.

Dub
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Mon 15 Oct 2007, 18:30, closed)

aaaah
bless you!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Oct 2007, 23:18, closed)