can't believe i'm admitting this!
after a works do one night when i was still with the bedshitter, we got all raunched up and decided to run back to the office. this was a huge city law firm and we had recently moved into swish new offices.

all the meeting and reception rooms were on the top floor. in particular the board room was about thirty feet long, with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city. in that room was the biggest round polished wooden table imaginable. anyone who walked into that room and didn't think about screwing their brains out on it was sexually retarded. or working. whatever.

so i persuaded the 'shitter that we should head up to the top floor and do rude things to each other on the table. well, he didn't take that much persuading. convinced we were alone in the office apart from the sleeping security guard downstairs, we started in the lift and ran down the corridor, clothes strewn all over the place.

when we reached the meeting room, i was just in my skirt, stockings and bra, whilst he was just in his pants (retch). we panted up to the door, swung it open, and -

froze in horror at the sight of one of our fat, old tax partners nailing his not much less fatter, older married secretary right in the middle of the table. he was still in his shirt and tie, pasty chubby buttocks heaving, and oh yes, he had left his socks on. why? why??

for a moment we all stood there, staring at each other. noone knew about us, and we sure as fuck hadn't known about them. then the bedshitter slowly shut the door and we ran back down the corridor from the horrible sight.

didn't put us off enough to stop us doing it in the disabled toilets on the way back down, though. meh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 13 Oct 2007, 23:36, 8 replies)

I so
want to write that into a whacky British comedy starring Hugh Grant.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Sun 14 Oct 2007, 1:43, closed)

hugh grant suggestion
fuck yeah, me too. get me hugh grant and i'll pay you to let me star in it. get me an older hottie like anthony head (prime minister in little britain) to be tax boy tony and i'll change ending into a foursome.

sadly, though, if you want it to be realistic, you'd be better going for harold bishop from neighbours and uncle vernon from harry potter. shudder.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 14 Oct 2007, 9:32, closed)

so
uhh... are you harold or vernon?
( robtoo is all out of gum, Sun 14 Oct 2007, 16:10, closed)

the smart money...
would be put on harold
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sun 14 Oct 2007, 16:37, closed)

eeeeeeeeeeeeow
i'll be angelina jolie if it's all the same to you guys...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 14 Oct 2007, 21:13, closed)

angelina jolie
is always alright by me!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Oct 2007, 9:11, closed)

Oh gawd
Oh, please, please, please, if Tony is going to be the tax boy, can I be the fat secretary? It'd be typecasting, really. stuffs drooly tongue back in mouth at thought of Tony Head's bare ass
Did the older partner see you and the bedshitter? (At first, I thought that was a typo for bedsitter) What did he say to you later?
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 4:28, closed)

hell yes
he saw us. it was one of those mutually tacit agreements where nobody said anything about it to anyone or each other!

didn't stop taxy tony groping me at the christmas do, though, bleurgh.

mmmmmmmmmmmmm. anthony head. mmmmmmmmmmmmm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 20:27, closed)