Lets see....let's name names.... at secondary school
Mr Tibbs
Rather....large stomached P.E. teacher who had previously been my older sister's tutor, who was actually a rather nice bloke at times, but seemed to cross this off anyones thoughts when he would demand the kids to 'get their kits off' in the showers and watch constantly, wiping the steam from his glasses occasionally.

Mrs Lodge, R.E.
Hated absolutely profusely by every living soul in the school, to the extent that when we'd ask the 'nicer' teachers about their thoughts of her, they'd blush and say 'no comment'. Mrs Lodge was evil. VERY evil. She had no concept of teaching, just how to shout the living hell at people. I would wind her up massively by staring out the window, watching a can blow accross the playground and when she asked why, I would comment that it was "just.....so.. amazing". Didn't go down well.

She had her own little portakabin style classroom hut, which she would never seem to leave. She was hated so much that she had a brick thrown through her window with a note attached, plus reguarly recieved death threats. Deserved it, too.

Geography Teacher
Used to think it was a real TREAT for us to watch Dantés Peak, EVERY xmas time. I did learn to love it based on the fact that the old granny in the acid scene is fucking hilarious.

IT Teacher
Was an IT teacher by proxy, but seemingly not by skills. Used to teach off worksheets and being the only techie *techie* there, I would reguarly have to advise him how open up applications. Seriously. I spent the GCSE final project running my own web business in class and did the project in 8 hours on a sunday afternoon. He gave me an A* for it because he "didn't understand any of it, but it looked good".

Mr Ash, English
Absolute LEGEND of a teacher. Gave me his email address when I left, but I mislayed it. Absolutely obsessed by books, films (especially, bizarrely, westerns) and was an ex-bbc researcher who had unlimited anecdotes from every walk of life. Realising I hated all the work we were given, he made it his mission to find me books I'd enjoy. The kind of teacher you'd get pissed with on a friday night if you found him in a club.

Some young supply woman
Not particuarly fit, but I made an absolute habit of imagining she was just so I could talk to her for the entire lesson so I didn't have to do any work. Was quite sucessful most of the time, too.

History teacher
Amazingly passionate teacher who, I'm sure failed at teaching me anything I was meant to know as I failed miserably at getting any sort of good marks in history. Was too soft to give any of us detentions, and if she did, we'd go to her room and smile sweetly and she'd let us off every single time. Used to discuss music with my mate after she spotted pearl jam written on his pencil case.

Mr Green
Design and Technology teacher who was the most picky, precise, camp guy you could ever imagine, who had endless faith in me to a disturbing degree.

Mr Aires
Taught me through my GCSE years and let me do a final project that was way above the GCSE stations (everyone made tiny wooden boxes... i made........a swivel chair with egonomic back...) and would spend hours of lunch times helping out. Had amazing anecdotes about his 'time in industry' and was apparently a co-creator of the technology behind 'finger trap' toys - they were originally used for ship cargo.

Some old woman, cooking
Used to very very very phallously (spg?) rub flour up and down the rolling pin (she had... quite a ....technique...), always sending the class into fits of laughter whilst she tried to figure out why.

Mr Jackson, Headteacher
Total 'darling' cockwanking welsh twat who was a smarmy cunt and imposed stupid rules which he thought would succeed to control various problems. Very much like tony blair.

Mr Curry, Music
Had hair which was conditioned beautifully and would flail about. Was SO passionate music and would, a bit disturbingly, recruit young boys (including me, who he LOVED THE SINGING VOICE of. never worked out why) for his 'modern choir'. We got to sing supergrass songs.

We actually had some pretty cool teachers at that school........but most were utter shite.

Oh and in primary school I had a teacher who had M.S. and so couldnt move much, and used to get wound up by this little shit of a kid... so would smack him with her walking stick. Ace.
( FinestLittleSpace, Fri 11 Nov 2005, 13:20, Reply)