First!
Since I have no job...I've been fired from every job I've ever had!

There was the paper round, where I had an argument with my mother and subsequently stormed off, leaving my supervisor to do the round and then offer the job to my sister. However, whilst he was doing the round he realised how long it was, so hired my sister on more pay at a reduced round.

Then the Early Learning Centre, where I had to collect things, put them in a bag, and take them upstairs. They fired me for wearing jeans, after giving me 5 mins to get there after college, and nowhere to change. I was only ever on the shop floor for 30 seconds a shift!

Then an engineering company, where because I sat down whilst stripping wire I was branded lazy. I was also paid £90 a week for working 8-5, 5 days a week.

Then a ceramics workshop, which I lasted 18 months in, then the new girl got me fired for being rude to a customer. I had explained to this customer how the pricing system works, and she asked for the cheapest item, which was a £5 figure, and £2.50 paint fee. However, when she came to pay, she looked up at the slightly more expensive figures, at £7.50, and complained that if we had shown her those, she would have chosen one. I explained the system, for the 20th goddam time. She left, new girl said I'd been rude.
So, I went to a party, and the next morning, given a choice between staying in bed with a lady, or looking after screaming four year olds, I chose the obvious.

The Cinema...hurt my leg, whilst I was off the managers changed...they stopped putting me on the rota. I think I might still work there...

Then the Cash and Carry. Same again. Party, followed by p45.

Subway! I was given a choice between sandwich artistry and completing my course. As tempting as it was, the lure of an education proved too much, and I quit.

And now, I'm unemployed, which I would quite like to be fired from, preferably into a job that isn't run by cunts. My track record may not be fantastic, but none of the jobs have been particularly...compelling, to say the least.

Length is all well and good, but I've got the girth, and thats where it counts, isn't it ladies?
_{Make a 'O' with your thumb and middle finger...Fear the Girth!}
( Mr.Ons knows you can hear him, Earthmen., Thu 9 Aug 2007, 14:36, Reply)