Qotw.
I worked in Security for over a year (gave it up as a bad idea last Oct). It was a very dull job most of the time. It might have been better if I had worked in a huge city but and not a little shitty fishing town. Though it gave me plenty of opportunity to witness lots of shoplifting and some VERY VERY strange behaviour.
Highlights include:

Stopping a 72 year old man leaving the store as he had pocketed a 80p packet of knicker Elastic (In my defence I only stopped him as the week previously he had taken a packet of razor blades but I refused to believe it till I watched him empty his pockets (He had TONS of stuff) into his sons car boot, but by then it was too late to stop him.) We only banned him, didn't phone the police or anything!
Having a screwdriver pulled on me over a £2 box of fish.
Finding a line of Tippex bottles the mini-chavs had set fire to along the path at the side of the shop.
Watching the same junkie come in everyday, see me and duck into the toilets, then leave. One day he was in the disabled toilets for 15 minutes so I knocked on the door saying that if the door was locked for too long it set off an alarm incase of accidents with disabled people. He answered the door in just his trousers. Jumper and shirt hanging over the toilet, socks and shoes lying on the floor. We still don't know what he was doing though we suspect he was shooting up and injecting his feet. He said he was "washing".
Umpteen thefts, the odd arguement and the day when 25 kids marched into the store as one of them was about to have a fight with a boy in store! WOO FIGHT! Death threats, drunk people falling off chairs and breaking their nose on the floor. A lady collapsing at the door and customers COMPLAINING they couldn't get past her. Etc etc...

There was also the guy who almost got away with £220 of booze and ending up assaulting an old lady trying to get away.
Would I do that job again? Not in a fucking lifetime.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 15 Feb 2008, 9:15, Reply)