Buzzword Bingo
I was at a conference a few years ago; one that involved a lot of theory and a lot of theoretical bullshit terms. Bored, and wanting to be in the pub instead of listening to the latest epistemological/phenomenological/post-processual waffle, I decided to play buzzword bingo, where you keep a tally of all the pretentious terms that have been used. I kept a tally on the back of my conference proceedings, along with a fine selection of doodles and caricatures. I then went to the pub and got drunk.

Two weeks later, when I was back on my native soil and mysteriously missing my conference notes, I received a package from the rather esteemed conference organiser. It contained a handwritten note saying "Dear Dr CHCB, you forgot these, signed: Rather Esteemed Conference Organiser", and the note was paper-clipped to my conference proceedings, which were prominently covered in my scribblings, cartoons, and a tally of pretentious words prominently entitled "Fucking Wanky Jargon Buzzword Bingo".

I will not be passing the time like that again.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 13:09, 8 replies)

Gah!
In my experience, the amount of jargon is inversely proportional to the reputation and quality of the speaker. Thus anyone who's esteemed is almost necessarily relatively jargon-free. (I'm drawing a distinction here between technical language and jargon - the former can be admirably clear.)

Thankfully.

On the other hand, I do enjoy the jargonny ones, because I can be quite vicious when it comes to the Q and A.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 13:12, closed)

^
Pardon?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 13:13, closed)

Ha!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 13:16, closed)

my boss
when asked if we could do something differently said "i will ask that as a question to my boss."

how else do you ask for something?!
(TexasPete enjoyed being sexually molested by your Father on, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 14:33, closed)

You're really a doctor?
Would you mind taking a look at this?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 14:38, closed)

I'm really a doctor,
but of the PhD kind. I can play medical doctor if you like? Just remove your trousers.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 15:00, closed)

tell me about
i've spent all day being told about "straw-man proposals"

seriously, call it a draft.
(DissolvedMynci, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 19:03, closed)

A tale from one of my former colleagues
from Orange, circa 1999. He'd been forced into some horrendous buzzword-laden management-speak conference and got bored, as you do. He started to doodle.

Although he didn't get your come-uppance (in that the doodles weren't traced to him) he did manage to leave his drawings on the chair when he was gratefully allowed to flee the building.

Of course, I wasn't allowing him to get off that lightly. What had he drawn, I asked.

Apparently, there was a submarine. A desert island. Tower Bridge in London. A woman having sex with a dog. An AK-47 with the word 'Jihad' written underneath. A sheep with an axe through it's neck. And a sketch of one of the visiting speakers, with the words "THIS MAN IS A TOOL" in large, friendly letters.
(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_ =o.o=, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 17:31, closed)