School
Few years ago I did my w/e. Worked at a local primary school which I used to attend.
Two years after I left the headteacher was outed as a pedophile. I started around the time of the Michael Jackson hoo-hah.
Simply asking a Year 6 (9-10 years old) whether they thought that MJ did it or not got me a reprimand.

Also, I caused injuries and heartbreak.
Being an older brother, picking up smaller childs and swinging them about is second or third nature.
Some small lad called Gavin comes up "swing meeeee!"
Er, ok this is a bit awkward, but I do.
I picked him up under the arms and swung him round, he stuck his legs out and kicked 3 small onlookers in the head. Ohhh dear.
Fortunately my rousing speech of "Oh come on! I'm not crying, I'm cool, cool people don't cry! I thought you were all cool!" inspired them not to tell on me.

The next day the little bastards rushed me and stole my shoes.
There was a girl in the literacy class who fancied me (I can say that with no ego).
Every 5 steps I took I was called over "Deity! I'm stuck on this bit" etc.
After half an hour of this I ignored her... she ran out the room crying, threatening to cut herself... her older sister was a bit emo - monkey see, monkey imitate like a pillock.

Then on my final day it was P.E.
Capture the flag! It was like watching a group of dwarves re-enact the battle of the somme.
The game was called off after 5 minutes.

So after a weeks 'work' (I sat around, walked around, ran around) there were 3 concussions, 2 nosebleeds, 1 fractured wrist, 1 broken heart, 3 skinned knees and 1 bitten lip
BEAT THAT!

Length? The little girl's hands make it look bigger.
(Good Looking Deity Grew a magnificent beard on, Sun 13 May 2007, 21:59, Reply)