My mates famous landrover
Okay i know fuck all about cars - but i volunteered (with three of my mates) to get my mate Carl back on the road after he was depressed after breaking up with girlfriend.

On my friend Ste's advice (who is landrover tinkerer himself) , Carl picked up a very good avertisement and together they dreamed of the days they would drive up mountains and annoy members of the green party with their road-dodging antics.

His dream was shattered when discovered his 'bargain' £200 landrover was in fact a death trap. The chassis underneath was rusted to small buggery and was about to collapse. On top of that, he was too skint to afford road tax and insurance and basically needed to build it up in time to get it away from the rear of my friends flat (which was a public area and was thus within the councils right to tow the fucker).

So my mates and I, thought it would be jolly sporting if we would donate the following week to rebuilding the old beast just in time to get it road worthy again (where he could no doubt find some suitable land to store it until he could sort his tax etc..)

Okay, a little background about me and my friends, as mentioned i know fuck all about cars, let alone how to dismantle and repair a chassis (but i was there for morale purposes), then there was Carl himself (who desperately needed this as he was having a real hard time with his ex), Ste who had was more than slightly responsible for the mess so out of guilt and passion he was doing most of the work.... and then there was Colin. The guy who's land it was parked on (sort of). Colin is also extremely agoraphobic and suffered from anxiety attacks (despite being the strongest and biggest out of the group) - he was also the designated welder.

Anyhoo, to cut a long story short - Our rather inept A-team efforts were hampered by freak storms (in the middle of summer), my absolute lack of knowledge, Ste and Carl's slight land rover rivalry (who can unscrew a bolt the fastest? - type of thing) and on top of that, our chief welder Colin kept having panic attacks and vomiting and spent most of the time sat against the garden wall looking grey and wretched. It took us four days to get a new chassis (which left us with three days to weld the bugger and find storage for the vehicle).

We gradually made progress, with Ste donating new pedals, a clutch, gear stick andbrand new tires and we all chipped too for a decent chassis. By day five, we were getting frustrated though... Constant arguements, extremely hot weather, vomiting and anxiety attacks and general incompetence aswell as post-relationship depression - But cracked on, like the men we were and we finally finished it. A new paint job and all.... with 24 hours to spare before the council could legally steal it. Win!

Hurrah! So we did as we did... Me, Ste and Carl loaded up all the old useless parts into the brand new landrover and took it for a spin (Colin stayed indoors preferring his gloomy flat) and we dumped all the useless tires and what-not at the scrapyard.

It was brilliant. Carl was smiling from ear to ear and Ste had a sense of smug achievement on his face, and i was just happy that i'd been part of the project (offering cigs and frowning at metal).

That night we decided we would take it easy, leave the beautiful new beast behind the flat and Carl would get up first thing in the morning and drive it away before the council could tow it...

Yes everything was great.

So day seven arrives, Carl (i imagine) skips off the couch and steps outside into the crisp morning sunlight to find his behemoth was .............................................


......... Nope. It was still there.

But his ex had slashed his tires.

It got towed away about an hour later.

:P

* Names changed for various reasons.


- Length? - long.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 15:26, 1 reply)

This
makes me sad
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 12:57, closed)