Where I used to work in London...
Everyone in the office had a nickname, some quite convoluted:

Mark became "Porky" - coz he was quite large (although we sometimes told people it was coz he fucked pigs)
Rick became "Rutger Humungrananque", sometimes shorted to "Rooty". It was because he had a really long surname.
Romesh became "Romulan" although none of us were Trekkies.
Paresh became "The Brown Man", "The Dark Destroyer" or just "P" if he was in a good mood.
Sharon was "Shazbot"
Marc was "Little Mo", because he was huge, and his initials were M.O.
Gary was "Spock" or "Logical Twat" coz he was a boring twat.
Phil was "Glaston" coz his surname is Berry.
Chris was "Elvis" coz he always mumbled.
(another) Chris was "Stumpy" coz he limped and was short.
(another) Chris was "Geedub", which was short for GW, the initials of Gold Watch which is rhyming slang for Scotch, coz he was an alcoholic.
And me? I was Ken, after someone mis-read "Kerry Mountain" on a fax and phoned asking to speak to Kenny Martin. After I became a Christian they re-named me "Born Again Ken".

And where I work now we call our team leader "Dan Hammer" coz it sounds like her name but we suspect she might secretly be a man.

Phew, that was a long one... how was it for you?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 19 May 2006, 12:00, Reply)