Profile for routine:
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Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 7 years, 8 months and 18 days
- has posted 4582 messages on the main board
- (of which 28 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 186 messages on the talk board
- has posted 122 messages on the links board
- (including 22 links)
- has posted 34 stories and 1 replies on question of the week
- They liked 16 pictures, 7 links, 0 talk posts, and 20 qotw answers.
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Recent front page messages:
Soz
WooHoo! Thank you magic donkey. I'd also like to thank the Academy, God etc etc
(Thu 12th Jun 2003, 11:34, More)
WooHoo! Thank you magic donkey. I'd also like to thank the Academy, God etc etc
(Thu 12th Jun 2003, 11:34, More)
Unbelievably,
no-one had noticed the design flaw until the grand opening.
(Mon 17th Feb 2003, 23:29, More)
no-one had noticed the design flaw until the grand opening.
(Mon 17th Feb 2003, 23:29, More)
Mary had a little lamb,
she grabbed it by the neck,
smeared it's eyes in breadcrumbs,
and let the seagulls peck.
(Thu 6th Jun 2002, 23:48, More)
she grabbed it by the neck,
smeared it's eyes in breadcrumbs,
and let the seagulls peck.
(Thu 6th Jun 2002, 23:48, More)
Mary had a little lamb,
she got it pissed on meths,
and while it was paralytic,
she fist-fucked it to death.
(Wed 5th Jun 2002, 13:00, More)
she got it pissed on meths,
and while it was paralytic,
she fist-fucked it to death.
(Wed 5th Jun 2002, 13:00, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Heckles
At an amateur boxing night
in Blackpool some years ago. In one of the bouts, toward the end of the third and final round, one of the boxers manages to twist his knee awkwardly and is obviously in some distress. His opponent sees this and does the gentlemannly thing of standing off and throwing a few meaningless jabs for a few seconds until the bell goes. This is met with a ripple of appreciative applause from the crowd. Good for the sport's image and all that. In the middle of this spontaneous outbreak someone yells out "hit his fucking leg".
(Sat 8th Apr 2006, 10:07, More)
At an amateur boxing night
in Blackpool some years ago. In one of the bouts, toward the end of the third and final round, one of the boxers manages to twist his knee awkwardly and is obviously in some distress. His opponent sees this and does the gentlemannly thing of standing off and throwing a few meaningless jabs for a few seconds until the bell goes. This is met with a ripple of appreciative applause from the crowd. Good for the sport's image and all that. In the middle of this spontaneous outbreak someone yells out "hit his fucking leg".
(Sat 8th Apr 2006, 10:07, More)
» Evidence that you're getting old
A few years ago
I was hanging out the washing and suddenly thought to myself, "I could do with a peg-bag".
It was at this point (about 30) that I realised I no longer served any point or position in life and that the rest of my miserable existance was going to be Hell on earth. These days I have to let my flatulence out in short sharp bursts to limit any damage if I follow through. I also occasionally go down on my girlfriend purely to buy some time so I can sober up and achieve an erection.
(Sun 31st Oct 2004, 18:03, More)
A few years ago
I was hanging out the washing and suddenly thought to myself, "I could do with a peg-bag".
It was at this point (about 30) that I realised I no longer served any point or position in life and that the rest of my miserable existance was going to be Hell on earth. These days I have to let my flatulence out in short sharp bursts to limit any damage if I follow through. I also occasionally go down on my girlfriend purely to buy some time so I can sober up and achieve an erection.
(Sun 31st Oct 2004, 18:03, More)
» My Collection
Female body parts in formaldehyde.
Why? I just can't bear to part with them after all the effort that went into hacking them off the FILTHY FUCKING WHORES. Anyway, God told me to.
(Sun 14th Jan 2007, 19:47, More)
Female body parts in formaldehyde.
Why? I just can't bear to part with them after all the effort that went into hacking them off the FILTHY FUCKING WHORES. Anyway, God told me to.
(Sun 14th Jan 2007, 19:47, More)
» Rock and Roll Stories
Travelling
from the north west to London to play some shithole or other in the mid-90s. Us and another local band were sharing a van and a minibus to get ourselves, our instruments and our backlines to the venue. There were three in our band and about ten of these other twats who had a brass section and all that bollocks. Our singer had left his weed in the minibus and their sax player had found it. The sax player was taking great delight in rolling and smoking great reefers while we three were roasting in the van in front. To retaliate, our singer climbed over the seats, made his way over all the gear to the back of the van, located the sax, opened the case and proceeded to insert every one of the guys reeds, one after the other, in and out of his arsehole. Our peers in the minibus behind witnessed every act of organic self-buggery, as this was carried out with singer's ringpiece displayed clearly in the back window. At the next stop a fight broke out and the other band shat it despite outnumbering us three to one : ) We never shared transport, or a gig with them again. The wankers.
(Thu 29th Jun 2006, 15:29, More)
Travelling
from the north west to London to play some shithole or other in the mid-90s. Us and another local band were sharing a van and a minibus to get ourselves, our instruments and our backlines to the venue. There were three in our band and about ten of these other twats who had a brass section and all that bollocks. Our singer had left his weed in the minibus and their sax player had found it. The sax player was taking great delight in rolling and smoking great reefers while we three were roasting in the van in front. To retaliate, our singer climbed over the seats, made his way over all the gear to the back of the van, located the sax, opened the case and proceeded to insert every one of the guys reeds, one after the other, in and out of his arsehole. Our peers in the minibus behind witnessed every act of organic self-buggery, as this was carried out with singer's ringpiece displayed clearly in the back window. At the next stop a fight broke out and the other band shat it despite outnumbering us three to one : ) We never shared transport, or a gig with them again. The wankers.
(Thu 29th Jun 2006, 15:29, More)