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Profile for Nicky Nacky Noo... Scratch and Sniff Please:
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Welcome in. Take your shoes off please.

om du kan läsa detta, vet du var jag bor!

jag bor på östra kusten.





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Best answers to questions:

» Breakin' The Law

Fnar Fnar
I once got rear ended by a police metro, I was waiting to go left at a juction went to go then someone came zooming round the corner, so I stopped. Unfortunately the police car didn't. So I got out of my car and knocked on the window and with the word I am still quite proud of asked "is this your vehicle sir?" they were strangly pleasant about it.
(Wed 7th Jan 2004, 20:44, More)

» My computer gave away my secrets

Small hands, small faces, small genitalia
I work in a Sweden as an IT tech, and deal with the mundaine as we all do in this job, one day the chef of the restaurant was in a really foul mood, and I asked him what ws wrong and he said that his computer was broken and could I fix it coz he'd been up all night trying to mend it. OK I said so I copied the drive contents from the 100GB drive to my server and then searched the original content for groups of file types to be deposited back on the computer . Work documents........ family photos........ 67GB of AVI files..... 60GB std porn... 7GB of midget porn. Midget porn. WTF!? under closer categorization 2Gb turned out to be dwarf porn. So I neatly labeled the containing folders accordingly, including a multicategoried genital mutilation catalouge.
Then I got curious to see what the stuff he rejected looked like so I decided to trawl the drive for all deleted content. My word. I have never seen such depravity everything from the alternative use of large wind instruments, to vetinary inspired internal inspections.

He never said a word about it. However we remain good freinds and I for one am never going to mention it to a man that works with knives all day long.
(Fri 10th Feb 2006, 13:06, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

Ice Hockey With MMM Matersons Turkey steaks
I used to work in an supermarkets industrial freezer and every now and agian the floor would freeze over with condesation, creating the world slipperiest surface. Add to that 4 underpaid student types, 4 frozen baggette sticks and a 1 kilo solid frozen turkey steak and you get a improvised hockey game! it was especially effective at destroying frozen bread sticks and and body part the "turkey puck" collided with.
(Mon 29th Mar 2004, 23:12, More)

» Your Revenge Stories

I'm alright jack
THere used to be this really inconsiderate obnoxious, dickhead that used to race around our area, like a fast maureen from driving school, and one day he twatted a mates car and wrote it off without stopping and owning up, so my mate was pretty much shafted, we tried to reason with the guy, giving it all the "we understand if you panicked" business,but he remained a cunt. Unfortunately he became the victime of a very localised crime spree, must have been bad carma.. er karma or something coz that night all the windows were replaced by very pretty glass shards, the luster of the body work was much improved by removing as much of that dulling pigment covering its surface with a caustic fluid, and to cap it all off, would you believe it, the car was bricked up the wheels were stolen and some bastard kicked it off the bricks so you couldn't get a jack under it.

Thats Hayes for you. Full of thieving scaggs.

2 days later it caught fire you know. I dont know, if its not nailed down......... The poor bloke wasnt even insured you know.

Oh well
(Fri 14th May 2004, 1:24, More)

» Breakin' The Law

Ooo-ooo-ooo police helicopters!
For some reason I'd almost forgotten about this, possibly due to the fact we were severly pissed at the time, and its best to put worrying things from your mind.

In the summer of 2001 we all went off down to the woods (Hillingdon borough) it was an enjoyable day we'd taken a huge basket of food with us, beer, vodka, radio, and spent the whole day just chilling out on one of the commons just soaking up the rays, when just as we are packing up to leave a group of lads leg it across the common each carring what looked like high powered rifles. And then they were gone. One of us made the glib comment of "where are the police when you want them". Well as we went in to the trees a police helecopter appeared overhead and quite obviously had mistaken a group of lads carring a large hamper and a radio, for an armed gang through their IR camera. So we legged it, split up and hid behind trees, then legged it some more then hid under log bridges, then legged it some more... all the time the rotor blades where buzzing about like a big angry bee. The best bit was when we came across a huge shipping container that had been dropped in the woods and we spent 20 mins running round the opposite side to the helecopter so all they could have seen was an arm or leg disapearing around the corner. then we got bored and out of puff, so we decided to finish off the picnic in the middle of the path. The chopper finally twigged that we were pulling their tonka and droned off to find new prey. However that wasnt the end of it, for some reason coppers dont like to made fools of. We were almost at the bus stop to go home and it was the last oppertunity for a waz before the long bus ride home, so everyone gave all the gear to one of our mate who went to wait for the bus while we helped nature. Unfortunately for him they were lying in wait and collared him as soom as they saw the ridiculously big hamper. We however were not fools and are rarely loyal to one another, and bravely legged it back in to the woods. He was held for several hours, lectured on the evils of wasting police time, threatened to be fined for the the aircraft fuel they wasted following a group of picnickers (some stupid amount of thousand pounds) and finally released when they couldnt get him on anything, other than being a pissed idiot. This wasn't helped by another acomplice phoning the police station pretending to be from the sun news paper and asking if they'd caught the 'xxxxx woods 7'. however that must have told the police that there were 7 of ús, and he took severe heat for next to a year to fess up. Luckly he's more loyal than we were to him. I still owe him a beer for that. Although, thats what probably started the whole thing.

Wow thats an essay.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 14:21, More)
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