Profile for I'm afraid of wet bread:
For those who care, I was once known as keith david. But now I'm not.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 6 years, 0 months and 16 days
- has posted 180 messages on the main board
- has posted 20 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 9 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 0 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 1 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
For those who care, I was once known as keith david. But now I'm not.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Toilets
Graffitti related
Someone had written "FREE CATALONIA"
Underneath that someone else had written "yoo wot?!"
Underneath that someone else had written "Idiot! Have you never heard of Basque Separatism?"
Underneath that someone had drawn a huge penis and written "a cock" with a handy arrow, just in case.
(Wed 7th Sep 2005, 14:33, More)
Graffitti related
Someone had written "FREE CATALONIA"
Underneath that someone else had written "yoo wot?!"
Underneath that someone else had written "Idiot! Have you never heard of Basque Separatism?"
Underneath that someone had drawn a huge penis and written "a cock" with a handy arrow, just in case.
(Wed 7th Sep 2005, 14:33, More)
» Foot in Mouth Syndrome
As a teenager we attended our youth club regularly...
One time they'd purchased and displayed a particularly phallic cactus. Being young and witty, I exclaimed to a friend of a friend, "That looks like your dad's cock!". Then I remembered his dad had committed suicide the previous month. No-one laughed.
(It was particularly phallic mind)
(Thu 22nd Apr 2004, 13:43, More)
As a teenager we attended our youth club regularly...
One time they'd purchased and displayed a particularly phallic cactus. Being young and witty, I exclaimed to a friend of a friend, "That looks like your dad's cock!". Then I remembered his dad had committed suicide the previous month. No-one laughed.
(It was particularly phallic mind)
(Thu 22nd Apr 2004, 13:43, More)
» I don't understand the attraction
Stuff
Mobile Phones
It never ceases to amaze me when people I know get a new phone, often spending hundreds of pounds on it, and other people I know are eager to examine it.
"Gi's a look at yer phone! Oh wow! Cool!"
IT'S A PHONE!
And when people see me using mine and sneer at it's ancientness.
IT'S A PHONE!
As long as it performs the basic functions required by a phone, namely calling people, receiving calls, and sending and receiving texts (which I actually prefer, since I hate phone conversations), then I am happy.
I've had the same one for as long as I can remember and have had perhaps 3, since my first one around 10 years ago (Yes, I got by just fine without one until I was 21 - back then I was content to arrange to meet someone at a certain place and time, and trust they'd be there).
Remember, IT'S A PHONE!
Cars
I've never owned a car. Technically I can drive one, but legally I can't. Meaning I never got my license, but stick me behind the wheel and I'm capable of driving. As with the phone thing, I have no interest in the supposed aesthetic attraction of a car - if it goes, it's good enough for me. Of course I understand that some cars provide a more pleasant behind-the-wheel experience than others, and that I can appreciate, but how anyone can get truly excited about a car, unless it flies or travels through time, is beyond me.
Football
Now don't get me wrong, I am a football fan. I have a favourite team which I have followed for years, and I love watching football and take an interest in the latest goings on within the game. To an extent. I do not understand how certain people will put football before family, or something similar. Me and my father and brother do not have a great deal in common. If we're together, conversation generally does not flow. But switch the subject to football and those two will talk forever as if it's the most important thing in the world. My dad proudly boasts that he has "never read a book in his life, but read the biography of Roy Keane from cover to cover".
I enjoy watching football, but I do not enjoy discussing and analysing it in detail for lengthy periods of time. It's just a game.
Art
Controversial? Maybe. I love to design, and I'd love to be able to make money from it regularly, but ask me who my favourite artist is and I'd struggle. Ask me who influences me and I'd draw a complete blank. Ask me to draw meaning from any piece of art, mine or otherwise and you'd get a blank look. If something looks nice, if it pleases my eye, I like it. I care not for meanings and metaphors within the art world.
I've been to many of Europe's finest galleries, and whilst there have of course been exhibits which have wowed and impressed, the most constant single feeling I've left with has been boredom.
I remember once I made a passing comment about my own design saying something like, "I'm no good at drawing really and don't have the motivation to practise that much," and I was reprimanded by a designer, respected here and elsewhere, saying that if I'm not prepared to put my soul into it then maybe art isn't for me. That is the most bullshit remark I ever read. I have fun designing and that's good enough.
Fashion
I have three criteria when choosing clothes for myself - they must be cheap and comfortable, and they must look good, to me.
I think the most money I ever paid for any item of clothing was £70 for a suit. Following that, I once bought a pair of shoes for £50, and then I'd say everything else I ever bought cost under £30. I hate labels, and don't see the appeal of paying lots of money to advertise an already rich company - I'm sure most people here feel the same. Give me a £6 plain black jumper from Matalan over the £60 alternative from TopMan, or wherever the cool kids shop these days. If it perishes within a year, so be it, I'll buy another.
That said, I did once own a pair of apparently limited edition Levi jeans which were easily the nicest jeans I've ever owned. My mate found them brand new in his pub, tags and all and passed them on to me when no-one claimed them. The price tag stated they'd cost £150. For jeans! These have since fallen apart and shall never be replaced, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to find a nice pair of jeans - what's the obsession with all these ludicrously over-bleached patches, crease lines and holes already in the jeans?! Why would I pay £50+ for brand new jeans that look old when I could pay 50p for old jeans at Oxfam?
(Sat 17th Oct 2009, 12:41, More)
Stuff
Mobile Phones
It never ceases to amaze me when people I know get a new phone, often spending hundreds of pounds on it, and other people I know are eager to examine it.
"Gi's a look at yer phone! Oh wow! Cool!"
IT'S A PHONE!
And when people see me using mine and sneer at it's ancientness.
IT'S A PHONE!
As long as it performs the basic functions required by a phone, namely calling people, receiving calls, and sending and receiving texts (which I actually prefer, since I hate phone conversations), then I am happy.
I've had the same one for as long as I can remember and have had perhaps 3, since my first one around 10 years ago (Yes, I got by just fine without one until I was 21 - back then I was content to arrange to meet someone at a certain place and time, and trust they'd be there).
Remember, IT'S A PHONE!
Cars
I've never owned a car. Technically I can drive one, but legally I can't. Meaning I never got my license, but stick me behind the wheel and I'm capable of driving. As with the phone thing, I have no interest in the supposed aesthetic attraction of a car - if it goes, it's good enough for me. Of course I understand that some cars provide a more pleasant behind-the-wheel experience than others, and that I can appreciate, but how anyone can get truly excited about a car, unless it flies or travels through time, is beyond me.
Football
Now don't get me wrong, I am a football fan. I have a favourite team which I have followed for years, and I love watching football and take an interest in the latest goings on within the game. To an extent. I do not understand how certain people will put football before family, or something similar. Me and my father and brother do not have a great deal in common. If we're together, conversation generally does not flow. But switch the subject to football and those two will talk forever as if it's the most important thing in the world. My dad proudly boasts that he has "never read a book in his life, but read the biography of Roy Keane from cover to cover".
I enjoy watching football, but I do not enjoy discussing and analysing it in detail for lengthy periods of time. It's just a game.
Art
Controversial? Maybe. I love to design, and I'd love to be able to make money from it regularly, but ask me who my favourite artist is and I'd struggle. Ask me who influences me and I'd draw a complete blank. Ask me to draw meaning from any piece of art, mine or otherwise and you'd get a blank look. If something looks nice, if it pleases my eye, I like it. I care not for meanings and metaphors within the art world.
I've been to many of Europe's finest galleries, and whilst there have of course been exhibits which have wowed and impressed, the most constant single feeling I've left with has been boredom.
I remember once I made a passing comment about my own design saying something like, "I'm no good at drawing really and don't have the motivation to practise that much," and I was reprimanded by a designer, respected here and elsewhere, saying that if I'm not prepared to put my soul into it then maybe art isn't for me. That is the most bullshit remark I ever read. I have fun designing and that's good enough.
Fashion
I have three criteria when choosing clothes for myself - they must be cheap and comfortable, and they must look good, to me.
I think the most money I ever paid for any item of clothing was £70 for a suit. Following that, I once bought a pair of shoes for £50, and then I'd say everything else I ever bought cost under £30. I hate labels, and don't see the appeal of paying lots of money to advertise an already rich company - I'm sure most people here feel the same. Give me a £6 plain black jumper from Matalan over the £60 alternative from TopMan, or wherever the cool kids shop these days. If it perishes within a year, so be it, I'll buy another.
That said, I did once own a pair of apparently limited edition Levi jeans which were easily the nicest jeans I've ever owned. My mate found them brand new in his pub, tags and all and passed them on to me when no-one claimed them. The price tag stated they'd cost £150. For jeans! These have since fallen apart and shall never be replaced, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to find a nice pair of jeans - what's the obsession with all these ludicrously over-bleached patches, crease lines and holes already in the jeans?! Why would I pay £50+ for brand new jeans that look old when I could pay 50p for old jeans at Oxfam?
(Sat 17th Oct 2009, 12:41, More)
» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?
Not that great this but...
I was in a queue for a resteraunt a few years ago and Mike Hallett the alcoholic snooker player tried to jump it. My friend confronted him and he said "Don't you know who I am? I'm Mike Hallett the snooker player!" To which my friend replied "Well I'm Jim the welder and you can wait like everyone else you drunken bastard"
Oh...that's not funny
(Fri 16th Apr 2004, 10:12, More)
Not that great this but...
I was in a queue for a resteraunt a few years ago and Mike Hallett the alcoholic snooker player tried to jump it. My friend confronted him and he said "Don't you know who I am? I'm Mike Hallett the snooker player!" To which my friend replied "Well I'm Jim the welder and you can wait like everyone else you drunken bastard"
Oh...that's not funny
(Fri 16th Apr 2004, 10:12, More)
» Local Nutters
Soho 20p Man
Don't know if he's still around or if he's dead or dying or something, but this guy used to sit around in the street next to Bar Chocolate on D'Arblay Street. He wandered around from time to time but that was his usual spot. He looked like Yaphet Kotto/Junk Yard Dog and used to smoke the fattest joints whilst drinking pints of champagne with ice. And he always wore about a million coats regardless of the weather. He'd shout "20p! Got 20p?!" at everyone who walked past, occasionally upping it to 50p and once I heard, even a pound.
One time I tried to talk to him when he wandered into Prime Time video on Berwick St where I worked. He gave me this blank stare, pointed at the TV which was showing Toy Story, yelled "20p! Fuck!" and then went outside and puked.
I miss him and I hope he's still alive and nuts.
(Mon 20th Sep 2004, 11:23, More)
Soho 20p Man
Don't know if he's still around or if he's dead or dying or something, but this guy used to sit around in the street next to Bar Chocolate on D'Arblay Street. He wandered around from time to time but that was his usual spot. He looked like Yaphet Kotto/Junk Yard Dog and used to smoke the fattest joints whilst drinking pints of champagne with ice. And he always wore about a million coats regardless of the weather. He'd shout "20p! Got 20p?!" at everyone who walked past, occasionally upping it to 50p and once I heard, even a pound.
One time I tried to talk to him when he wandered into Prime Time video on Berwick St where I worked. He gave me this blank stare, pointed at the TV which was showing Toy Story, yelled "20p! Fuck!" and then went outside and puked.
I miss him and I hope he's still alive and nuts.
(Mon 20th Sep 2004, 11:23, More)