You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for qwghlm:
Profile Info:

The bloke behind qwghlm.co.uk. I prefer to make stuff in Flash - see the Daily Mail-o-matic, David Blunkett Policy Maker, Michael Howard Sings The Smiths or Alastair Campbell's Wheel of Retribution.

Photoshoppy things I have done recently include:

UN appoints new Secretary-General


Out Of Time?


New Iraq Flag


Pikey


Business carries on regardless


Installing...

Inspired by this and my mate Tom


Those magazines are always a rip-off...



Recent front page messages:

Out Of Time?

Apologies to Julian Opie, and ta to MakTheYak for the inspiration...

Edit: FP on my second post! Yay!
(Mon 8th Mar 2004, 10:00, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Best Graffiti Ever

In a pub toilets in Islington
Someone had written the classic

IRELAND FOR THE IRISH

To which, in a different hand, some wag had written beneath:

PECKHAM FOR THE PECKISH
(Fri 4th May 2007, 13:58, More)

» My Worst Vomit

Brains...brains...
My worst one and first one (due to alcohol). I was 17ish, in my gap year, away from home for more or less the first time, had a great night out consisting of Newcastle Brown Ale and lots of chips to soak it up (didn't do a very good job). Towards the end of the evening I decided the room was spinning a bit too much and some sobering up would be a good idea, so I had a couple of cans of blackcurrant Tango.

This did little to help, I went back to my room, passed out and awoke at 6am the next morning, and had to immediately run to the sink to confess to Cardinal Chunder. I saw the half-digested chips, lovingly soaked in blackcurrant and Newky Brown sitting there, and I thought I'd managed to vomit my own brains out (I was still really drunk), and so started screaming like a halfwit.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 0:22, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Counting
In my local post office, there are three service windows and one queue. They have a single digit display thing, the type that resembles a number '8' and different elements of it light up depending number you're meant to go to. One day when I was queuing with a parcel, I heard a posh but dippy girl behind me ask her friend "Why does that thing count up to 8, when there are only three windows?"

Also, oblig. American story - friend of mine was once asked the way to "Loogabarooga" by Yank tourist. They meant Loughborough.
(Fri 7th Jan 2005, 13:47, More)

» I was drunk when I bought this

My domain name
I'm still lumbered with it, five years on....
(Fri 10th Jun 2005, 20:31, More)

» The most cash I've ever carried

Bloody cashpoints
Several years ago (1999 or so?), in the dark Cambridgeshire countryside in winter. I'm a poor student in a little country pub and I'm out of beer tokens, and they don't take cards. I shuffle down the road to the local petrol station to get a tenner from the cashpoint.

All fine until the cashpoint asks me "Do you want a receipt for this transaction?". I press the button next to the 'No' on the screen, but it's cold and my hand spasms slightly and I end up hitting it twice, which confirms an option on the next screen before I had a chance to read it.

I find out what the option I picked was pretty soon, as the machine spits out 400 (pretty much all my savings) into my hands.

I trudge back up the road absolutely terrified that my blissful record of never being mugged despite growing up in one of the rougher areas of London, will come to an end that night on that cold Cambridgeshire country lane, despite no-one being around. Thankfully it didn't, though that night I slept with the cash in my pants for safe keeping.
(Thu 22nd Jun 2006, 12:58, More)
[read all their answers]