» Terrible Parenting

Whilst on holiday abroad
my parents left me & my 2 sisters in the bedroom.
I woke up later to find my youngest sister had disappeared & for the last few months, Mum & Dad have been on an all expenses paid holiday to look for her leaving Amelie & I behind!
Bastards.


I'm off to Hull for my lunch now
(Thu 16th Aug 2007, 12:29, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

Your Weirdest Teacher
Had a PE teacher called Mr.Myerscoff (no really) who looked uncannily like Oddbod from Carry-on Screaming in a blue tracksuit.
Married the female PE teacher who looked like the Child Catcher in Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang.
Hate to think what the kids looked like.
The other PE teacher was a bloke called Ambler who's immortal line to get boys into the showers was "Come on, we've all got dicks & bums"
(Wed 9th Nov 2005, 15:03, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Sorry if already posted (read most of the pages)
What's got three legs & lives on a farm?
Paul McCartney & his wife.
(Tue 13th Dec 2005, 14:18, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

Peter Ustinov
It's some old bloke doing silly voices & telling not particularly funny anecdotes about the time he met a washerwoman in Serbia whilst only wearing a hat & eating mallard. My mates love & piss their sides at him.
I'll add the Goon Show whilst I'm here too.
(Thu 15th Oct 2009, 15:08, More)

» Rubbish Towns

Cambridge
Actually it's quite nice but took me nearly 90 minutes to get out of the bastard place due to the stupid signs on the ring road.
The signs were basically "Ooop North" & "That Lundun" which was shite as I was going to Norfolk.
I'd stopped at three petrol stations & they sent me in the Ooop North direction. Being a Northerner they probably thought that's what I wanted as they couldn't understand me.
Bastards.
(Thu 29th Oct 2009, 16:48, More)