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Profile for MontyyouterribleCUNT:
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My 3rd!



my 4th









































Recent front page messages:

Kevin Costner is a cunt AICMFP

(Mon 12th Oct 2009, 12:43, More)

and now on B3TA, a choice of viewing...

(Wed 4th Feb 2009, 9:42, More)

the queen loves a roast


*edit* made smaller just in case it gets FP'd
it's been 2 years now
(Tue 25th Nov 2008, 11:23, More)

All apologies...

(Thu 17th Aug 2006, 12:11, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Heckles

best heckle ever?
The legendary Tunnel club in Deptford, run by the sorely missed Malcolm Hardee.
This was about 20 years ago now. One of the acts was a mime artist- Les Bubb.
He was about 5 minutes into his act when a shout came from the back
"for fuck's sake tell a joke, I'm blind"
(Thu 6th Apr 2006, 15:45, More)

» Heckles

as told by Mark Thomas
He told the story of a black comedian having to deal with a group of racist twunts.
One of them holds out a tenner and says "here's a tenner, you can put it towards fucking off back to where you came from"
The comedian grabs the tenner and says
"cheers- I'm from Lewisham- I can get a cab home now"
(Thu 6th Apr 2006, 16:52, More)

» Heckles

Jerry Sadowitz
No fancy banter or witty repartee with Jerry. I once saw him heckled by a woman in the front row, and he came back with the killer line "shut up or I'll fuck you"
She shut up.
(Thu 6th Apr 2006, 15:49, More)

» Crap meals out

my mum has balls
this happened 15 years ago. My mother and a group of her friends went to Kai Feng, a Kosher Chinese restaurant in Hendon.
The food was good, if hugely overpriced, but the service was shite- everyone's meal arriving at different times- you know the score.
Now my mum was about 50 at the time, little, and not one to make a fuss, but when they added the 10% service charge to the bill, she went berzerker and refused to pay it.

Big ructions ensued, culminating in the management locking her in the restaurant and refusing to let her out unless she paid the 10%.

She refused to back down, and told them to let her out or call the police.
So they called the police (just down the road) who duly liberated her, and threatened the manager with a charge of obstruction.
Dead proud of the old bird.
(Thu 27th Apr 2006, 16:07, More)

» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.

amyl nitrate
I bought a bottle from someone at school and had great fun with it all that day. That night I left it on my bedroom shelf where my mum found it the next day. She did what any normal person would do when faced with a small brown un-labelled bottle with a clear liquid in- she opened it and sniffed it.
I came home to a red-faced angry woman screaming "what the fuck is that on your shelf?"
Me laughing uncontrollably didn't help.

Length? 5.35 metres - now give me a fucking medal
(Tue 19th Aug 2008, 14:44, More)
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