b3ta.com user MD-Mnmlst
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» Abusing freebies

Health care problems
about 5 years ago when i was about 14 (you do the maths to calculate my age!) i used to love these freebie websites where one could order free shit.
(samples of tea bags, free dvd about double glazing etc...) until one day i came acrosss the holy grail
free parker pen.
sound my 14 year old mind thought.
so i filled the form in
and then it asked about my buisness details.
of course at this stage i really wanted my parker pen and wasnt going to settle for no.
so i filled out my buisness details.
as the nhs.
and i forget about my parker pen.
until 3 months later i get a package to "Dr MD-mnmlst" its my bloody parker pen with the nhs logo on it!
only it turns out it wasnt free at all.. damn pen got charged to the buisness details.
Nhs got charged about £4 so a 14 year old could have a pen that he lost 2 days later.
I dont know about length but that makes me sound like a wanker.
(Fri 9th Nov 2007, 1:12, More)

» Stupid Dares

One in progress.
Kinda fits in. ish
wanted to put it in somewhere.
this tale of woe begins on friday night (last friday night to be precise) and as you do i was having a few beers. a few beers then turned into a bottle of wine. for what reason ill never know.
somewhere during the bottle of wine someone mentions facebook groups and changing their sons name to batman or something mental scaring like that.
so of course i have to chip in.
"if i got 100,000 people id change my name to kate nash"
of course dickhead friends have to chip in "go on then"
so i go round the pub promoting my cause.
wake up and everything thing is normal.
until
i get several facebook adds.
"wheres the kate nash group"
not being one to back out of a drunken bet.
www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5562657927
600 people in less than a week.
im scared.
i like my name.
length? it wont matter if i have to change my bloody name to kate.
(im a guy btw)
(Thu 1st Nov 2007, 22:34, More)

» Family Holidays

My liver hates me.
one holiday that sticks out in the memory... suprisingly considering how lashed i got.
my mum and her boyfriend at the time had decided that we needed to go on a family holiday. me (the only child) and his 2 sons.
well me being 18 at the time and his 2 sons being 13 and 15 to spain/. this to me seemed like a shit idea... ( a week away from the local with my mates.. can you imagine how devasted i was) but deciding my mum had put up with me for 18 years i thought i owed her one not to moan about it and just didnt moan.
well we arrived in sunny spain and the first thing i do obviosuly is check out the bar. seeing this my mum comes up to me and says "since were on holiday i wont say anything about your drinking" (she was fine with it anyway but didnt like me usually drinking for a week solid.) Fucking result... so thats me off all family activites for a week. time to bring my liver down a notch!
shorlty after that i met a cockney lad and his brother and we decided to have a drinking contest. which went on for the week (i think we were both winners!) highlights of week long piss up being: (bearing in mind most of the things on the list potray me as a twat. but i was 18 and pissed... and a twat at the time)
*going to some terrible bar down the road and listening to "gasoline" which was two german dudes who played rock covers... and just asking them to play summer of 69 and 500 miles every night (i fucking hate those songs aswell!)
*climbing on top of a wooden parasol thing and falling through it. apperently it looked funny. i didnt see the funny side.
*convincing my mums boyfriend and his son that i did free running by just jumping off a couple of walls hungover.
*an on going rivally between me and some guy i affectionatly nicknamed "cock head" (the name stuck aswell!)
*having some fit girl lick my penis for a dare. (i didnt come up with that one either.. "cock head did")
*finding out "cock head" was actually quite sound. (maybe to do with the above comment.)
*getting photos of me and gasoline!
*meeting some spainish drug dealer who took us in the back of the bowling alley he owned to show us his real gun.
*not getting a tan at all due to sleeping my hangover most of the day.
*skinny dipping about 14 times.
*throwing chairs in other swimming pools.
*waking up to find cuts all over me from jumping in bushes (my free running skills obviously!)
*going down spainish roads at like 90 miles an hour in a taxi where the driver was drugged to the sound of "sun goes down" by arctic monkeys. (fucking scary)
*sleeping in the lift.
and just other stuff which ive missed out.
sorry about shitness.
not about length though women love it.
(Tue 7th Aug 2007, 13:30, More)

» Insults

this... is my insult.
My music is a big insult to peoples ears.
signed kate nash.
(Sat 6th Oct 2007, 19:08, More)