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Profile for Artamnesia:
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Recent front page messages:

I saw it on television

so I know it must be real.
(Sat 10th Jan 2004, 5:11, More)

Farmer's sunburn or no

Clicker for bigger

reinterpreted classics part I
Her beauty can not be ignored!
(Tue 1st Jul 2003, 3:35, More)

Based on

a dream last night about a cat who was crossed with a snowshoe rabbit. When the kitten was calm or asleep, it was white but when it was awake and excited or alert, it was striped like a tabby. If you looked closely, you could see that the fur in the stripes was actually translucent and when the cat was excited, pigment would flood into those hairs and make the stripes. Kind of like lizards and fish that change color with their mood.
(Mon 16th Jun 2003, 5:07, More)

Something compelled me to make this

And now I never want to see it again.
(Thu 12th Jun 2003, 22:56, More)

It's Heather's fondest secret pleasure

to slurp down a baby one while the others aren't looking.

You really need to see the MUCH biggerer version to appreciate.
(Wed 4th Jun 2003, 5:03, More)

Archival footage

(Wed 21st May 2003, 3:34, More)

Dance Billy, Dance!

(Sat 17th May 2003, 5:16, More)

.

(Wed 14th May 2003, 1:54, More)

The rhythm is gonna get ya!

(Wed 7th May 2003, 4:10, More)

Lots of color but surprisingly little fragrance

Inspired by Tedmus' little plant creatures down the page
(Tue 6th May 2003, 21:32, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Clients Are Stupid

I work in online media and advertising.
Last week we had a client send us the creative for an ad. They sent us a jpeg. It was a screen shot of a jpeg opened up in PhotoShop Elements.
(Mon 29th Dec 2003, 0:09, More)

» Stupid Tourists

I betray my countrymen with this story
but I did witness this when travelling in Italy with my boyfriend (who is in no way an ugly american, having spent years of graduate study abroad and being fluent in Italian, Spanish, French and German). We were at a bar near the Spanish steps. In Italy a bar is not really a place to get drunk but more like a coffeehouse with maybe apertifs or wine. One of my countrymen was ordering in English, and loudly (how else will foreigners understand?!) a White Russian. He bellowed " A White Russian! A White Russian!! You got Vodka? You got Cream? A White Russian!" We finished our coffee in silence, afraid that he would identify us as American and attempt to associate with us.

I do want to point out that it's kind of small to fault the faux pas of foreigners on your soil. First-time visitors to a new place aren't going to know everything about a somewhere new. That's what's fun about travelling. Ignorance doesn't merit contempt, but ugly behavior does.
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 4:48, More)

» Stupid Tourists

A story told to me by my ex-husband
While he was studying in Italy, he and some friends went to an open air produce market. Thinking to try her Italian on the locals, a friend asked where she might find the "fiche secche" or what she thought meant "dried figs". The shop keeper seemed a little taken aback and then answered " Be...sulle donne vecchie!" or "On old women!". It seems the word for cunt and the word for fig are only one vowel off...
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 5:01, More)

» When I met the parents

Not exaaaaaactly when I met the parents
but typical of my experience with them.

I was at the in-law's for the Christmas and on Christmas Eve, we went to a local mall to go see some Jewish friends of theirs who bell-ring on Christmas Eve (kindly giving the gentiles a break) and have lunch. It being California, we lunched outside in the glorious sunshine while my mom-in-law launched into a story (and not using her indoors voice) about a friend of hers who left her husband after putting up with years of his demands for anal sex. "Anal sex! ANAL SEX! Day and night, that's all he wanted...ANAL SEX! Can you imagine if all your husband wanted was ANAL SEX!!!???". While the man at the next table leaned forward expectantly to hear my answer, I remarked upon the seasonal kindliness of the mall in placing bird feeders in each tree. Now that the attention of all the neighboring tables was upon us, my dad-in-law began to loudly expound upon the exotic attractiveness of our asian waitress, calling her "that little oriental girl" and wondering aloud why waitresses no longer bother to "shake their ass" when a paying customer is on hand. All this while she, a full-grown woman, stood about three feet away from us.
(Fri 20th May 2005, 5:30, More)

» It was a great holiday, but...

Actually a nice trip to New Orleans...
...but a bad flight back to Chicago. The hot, humid summer day was tossing up severe thunderstorms all along the Mississippi, so I spent the flight strapped down while we bumped along through choppy air amid flashes of lightening. Never nervous about flying, I found it to be a different story when the sudden drops and lurches were elicting screams from my fellow passengers. I kept exchanging nervous smiles with the woman next to me, who was grimly working through all the prayers on her rosary beads. When at some point I heard myself moaning involuntarily with fear, I knew this was officially a bad flight. The final straw for me was when the flight attendants were asked to sit down and strap themselves in, but one was left arguing in the aisle with a woman who wouldn't or couldn't get her todddler buckled in. The attendant totally lost all control and screamed in her face, "Do you want to peel that child off the ceiling of this plane? I've seen it happen! I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN!!" When we got to Chicago airspace, the weather was still too bad to attempt a landing so we circled the airport for almost an hour. Of course, bumping and lurching the whole while. Finally, the captain let us know that we were now very short on fuel and we would be heading for Milwaukee where we would refuel and then return to Chicago. After an armrest-gripping descent to Milwaukee airport, I disembarked and did not return. Got a motel for the night and the next day rented a car and drove the two hours to Chicago.
(Mon 25th Apr 2005, 22:04, More)
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