Profile for Davethefan:
26 year old male living in the North East of England.
I started writing a novel last year to help me with my lack of sleep issues - under the impression that writing helps to empty ones head before you sleep.
17 months and 9 chapters later, I find that the main reason I don't sleep is that I stay up writing, drawing intricate, warped psychedelic drawings and making silly little animated gifs that'll make people giggle - even if only for a nanosecond, and end up on the holy b3ta front page.
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- a member for 1 year, 0 months and 5 days
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- has posted 13 stories and 20 replies on question of the week
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26 year old male living in the North East of England.
I started writing a novel last year to help me with my lack of sleep issues - under the impression that writing helps to empty ones head before you sleep.
17 months and 9 chapters later, I find that the main reason I don't sleep is that I stay up writing, drawing intricate, warped psychedelic drawings and making silly little animated gifs that'll make people giggle - even if only for a nanosecond, and end up on the holy b3ta front page.
Which File Extension are You?
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» Tramps
strangest mugging?
I was once walking home late at night in Grimsby, and a man walked past me - in a smartish looking suit, I thought nothing of it at first, until he'd walked past and I heard somebody behind me running.
The same chap who'd just walked past me was now in front of me, waving a knife in my face.
'Give me all your money'
'I dont have any' A likely story, he probably thought.
Thing is, I really didn't - I had no electric in my flat, the meter was in debt from the last tenants, and the landlord had done sweet FA about it - i also had no food whatsoever. I was living on water, while waiting for the dole to get their act together and sort my claim out.
I told him this, and he put his knife away, embarrased and apologetic - he kept shaking my hand.
'sorry mate, sorry mate - i'm in the same circumstance.. im waiting for the dole too - but you've got it worse than i have'
and with that, he dug deep and gave me his change - more than a fiver and walked off!
(Fri 3rd Jul 2009, 17:57, More)
strangest mugging?
I was once walking home late at night in Grimsby, and a man walked past me - in a smartish looking suit, I thought nothing of it at first, until he'd walked past and I heard somebody behind me running.
The same chap who'd just walked past me was now in front of me, waving a knife in my face.
'Give me all your money'
'I dont have any' A likely story, he probably thought.
Thing is, I really didn't - I had no electric in my flat, the meter was in debt from the last tenants, and the landlord had done sweet FA about it - i also had no food whatsoever. I was living on water, while waiting for the dole to get their act together and sort my claim out.
I told him this, and he put his knife away, embarrased and apologetic - he kept shaking my hand.
'sorry mate, sorry mate - i'm in the same circumstance.. im waiting for the dole too - but you've got it worse than i have'
and with that, he dug deep and gave me his change - more than a fiver and walked off!
(Fri 3rd Jul 2009, 17:57, More)
» School Days
website shenanigans
Eagle-eyed readers will know that I posted a shorter version of this on /board last week, if I'd have known what this weeks QOTW was, I'd have sat on it...c'est la vie.
When I was a young lad, I was quite the whizz with computers - and keen too, so keen in fact, that our Business Studies/IT teacher used to lock me in the computer room during her dinner break - and me being completely trustworthy, she used to leave 'Admin2' logged in while she went.
One day, I went behind her desk and gave myself administrator rights, and spent the dinner hour discretely distributing them to my mates, right under her nose - while she played Solitaire.
It was great fun, I managed to bring a chat program in, discovered Winpopup and everybody elses document folders!
We really took the biscuit when a friend of mine found a floppy disk in an unlocked drawer, and brought it round to my house after school - we had a look at it, and it was the newly launched school websites FTP details!
We downloaded everything from their page, and made a cloned version
What we didnt know is that the Headmasters bosses were all looking at the page around the time we put it on - cue him storming into my GCSE English exam with steaming at the ears with a bright red face and glaring at me, realising there was nothing he could do, and stormed out in a huff.
Apparantly, he didn't like the photo we used of him.
A couple of days later, I got a call from him, asking to design their official page for them.
Length: About 4 years, until I got 2 police on my doorstep telling me to take it down, or else the new headmistress will take me to court over it.
(Mon 2nd Feb 2009, 16:59, More)
website shenanigans
Eagle-eyed readers will know that I posted a shorter version of this on /board last week, if I'd have known what this weeks QOTW was, I'd have sat on it...c'est la vie.
When I was a young lad, I was quite the whizz with computers - and keen too, so keen in fact, that our Business Studies/IT teacher used to lock me in the computer room during her dinner break - and me being completely trustworthy, she used to leave 'Admin2' logged in while she went.
One day, I went behind her desk and gave myself administrator rights, and spent the dinner hour discretely distributing them to my mates, right under her nose - while she played Solitaire.
It was great fun, I managed to bring a chat program in, discovered Winpopup and everybody elses document folders!
We really took the biscuit when a friend of mine found a floppy disk in an unlocked drawer, and brought it round to my house after school - we had a look at it, and it was the newly launched school websites FTP details!
We downloaded everything from their page, and made a cloned version
What we didnt know is that the Headmasters bosses were all looking at the page around the time we put it on - cue him storming into my GCSE English exam with steaming at the ears with a bright red face and glaring at me, realising there was nothing he could do, and stormed out in a huff.
Apparantly, he didn't like the photo we used of him.
A couple of days later, I got a call from him, asking to design their official page for them.
Length: About 4 years, until I got 2 police on my doorstep telling me to take it down, or else the new headmistress will take me to court over it.
(Mon 2nd Feb 2009, 16:59, More)
» That's me on TV!
Big Brother
When I was a boy, not yet a man. 17 or so, there was an advertisment on the computerised bulletinboard system (oh, how many wasted hours I spent lurking on First Class) to go to the live Celebrity Big Brother final - it was the year Jack Dee was in it, for those who care.
Being a young punk, I spiked my mohican up, with a bar of soap.
We managed to get right close to the stage, and were able to lean on the railings, towards the beginning of the night, my hair was at the bottom corner of the screen during certain angles, by the end of the night - hardcore rain turned all the soap into frothy, soapy water - which was running down my face and into my eyes. It stung like hell - and my hair disappeared out of the shot.
That is all.
(Fri 12th Jun 2009, 2:48, More)
Big Brother
When I was a boy, not yet a man. 17 or so, there was an advertisment on the computerised bulletinboard system (oh, how many wasted hours I spent lurking on First Class) to go to the live Celebrity Big Brother final - it was the year Jack Dee was in it, for those who care.
Being a young punk, I spiked my mohican up, with a bar of soap.
We managed to get right close to the stage, and were able to lean on the railings, towards the beginning of the night, my hair was at the bottom corner of the screen during certain angles, by the end of the night - hardcore rain turned all the soap into frothy, soapy water - which was running down my face and into my eyes. It stung like hell - and my hair disappeared out of the shot.
That is all.
(Fri 12th Jun 2009, 2:48, More)
» Workplace Boredom
My Work
Involves living and working in the same room, of course this does get rather claustrophobic, especially as 15 hours of my day are spent on the internet (thank Jesus Horrace Christ for Tabbed Browsing!)
When boredom strikes - I make tea, Sweep the floor and/or roll cigarettes for my boss and I.
I also prepare texts in Microsoft Word, ready to send on Carboard Fish - (and lately, it seems that I am not the only one, as it is more often than not busy.)
I've gotten quite good at this, I can be writing a letter, and can slip two sentences into it very subtly and cut it, ready for when I have a minute free in the office.
As I help manage the company website, it is essential to always have a copy of one of the pages loaded in its HTML form, it really does look a lot more complicated than it actually is, so a swift Alt + Tab and mashing on the arrow buttons usually suffices to make me look busy, should a figure of authority walk through the door.
That, and a quick refresh of b3ta to see what I'm missing - and it's always more interesting than work. Haven't been caught on here so far, yet. Touch wood.
That, or prat around on the companies Live Webcam
Apologies for length + boringness, familiarity.
(Wed 14th Jan 2009, 22:49, More)
My Work
Involves living and working in the same room, of course this does get rather claustrophobic, especially as 15 hours of my day are spent on the internet (thank Jesus Horrace Christ for Tabbed Browsing!)
When boredom strikes - I make tea, Sweep the floor and/or roll cigarettes for my boss and I.
I also prepare texts in Microsoft Word, ready to send on Carboard Fish - (and lately, it seems that I am not the only one, as it is more often than not busy.)
I've gotten quite good at this, I can be writing a letter, and can slip two sentences into it very subtly and cut it, ready for when I have a minute free in the office.
As I help manage the company website, it is essential to always have a copy of one of the pages loaded in its HTML form, it really does look a lot more complicated than it actually is, so a swift Alt + Tab and mashing on the arrow buttons usually suffices to make me look busy, should a figure of authority walk through the door.
That, and a quick refresh of b3ta to see what I'm missing - and it's always more interesting than work. Haven't been caught on here so far, yet. Touch wood.
That, or prat around on the companies Live Webcam
Apologies for length + boringness, familiarity.
(Wed 14th Jan 2009, 22:49, More)
» I'm going to Hell...
Making a mockery of an R.E lesson
Don't know if it's a ticket to the underground plane, but it certainly feels a little blasphemous - and the telling off I got from the loudest teacher in the school was probably a taste of things to come for my indifference towards his R.E lessons.
We were asked to write what we thought suitable punishments for various crimes should be, burglarly, murder etc etc - and a friend and I thought it'd be really funny to treat it as a joke (and I still to this day think religion is a joke) - and put answers like
'Send them to the moon', 'Make them eat fifty ice lollies', 'superglue their fingers together' etc...and it was really funny, when we were in lesson giggling to ourselves about it.
It wasn't so funny the next week after he'd marked our exercise books and took us into the corridor for a good shouting at, everyone in the class heard and there was a deathly silence when we came back in the room... He threatened to send a letter home to my Mum, so I told her about it first - she just laughed.
On the plus side, we weren't allowed in his lessons again. Excellent.
(Wed 17th Dec 2008, 8:03, More)
Making a mockery of an R.E lesson
Don't know if it's a ticket to the underground plane, but it certainly feels a little blasphemous - and the telling off I got from the loudest teacher in the school was probably a taste of things to come for my indifference towards his R.E lessons.
We were asked to write what we thought suitable punishments for various crimes should be, burglarly, murder etc etc - and a friend and I thought it'd be really funny to treat it as a joke (and I still to this day think religion is a joke) - and put answers like
'Send them to the moon', 'Make them eat fifty ice lollies', 'superglue their fingers together' etc...and it was really funny, when we were in lesson giggling to ourselves about it.
It wasn't so funny the next week after he'd marked our exercise books and took us into the corridor for a good shouting at, everyone in the class heard and there was a deathly silence when we came back in the room... He threatened to send a letter home to my Mum, so I told her about it first - she just laughed.
On the plus side, we weren't allowed in his lessons again. Excellent.
(Wed 17th Dec 2008, 8:03, More)