Profile for HP:
Facts about HP:
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 22 years, 3 months and 5 days
- has posted 12850 messages on the main board
- (of which 4 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 117 messages on the talk board
- has posted 5 messages on the links board
- has posted 5 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 7 pictures, 3 links, 0 talk posts, and 28 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
Facts about HP:
HP does in fact, make a bacon sandwich, and rather a good one at that.
HP once microwaved a Creme Egg in the name of science
1 HP is the force required to drag a British Standard horse one mile.
HP is the fucking moon lord!
Recent front page messages:
After sitting there for three hours
Peter Parker realised there were certain things he could no longer do after the radioactive spider incident.
Clicky for biggy
(Sun 12th Jan 2003, 21:08, More)
Peter Parker realised there were certain things he could no longer do after the radioactive spider incident.
Clicky for biggy
(Sun 12th Jan 2003, 21:08, More)
I've just been to B&Q
...and bought myself one of them angel grinders.
(Mon 21st Jan 2002, 7:15, More)
...and bought myself one of them angel grinders.
(Mon 21st Jan 2002, 7:15, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Losing Your Virginity
On my hands and knees in a friend's living room
I rubbed it as hard as I could, and it frothed up.
Oh... virginity? Sorry, I thought the question was about trying to get Guinness out of carpets.
(Sat 5th Mar 2005, 20:01, More)
On my hands and knees in a friend's living room
I rubbed it as hard as I could, and it frothed up.
Oh... virginity? Sorry, I thought the question was about trying to get Guinness out of carpets.
(Sat 5th Mar 2005, 20:01, More)
» Old People Talk Bollocks
My sister's mother in law isn't very good with words
One day, she was talking about duvets, and confusing the hell out of everyone. After a while, it transpired that she meant vol au vents.
She also cooks food in a microphone, and the four suits in a deck of cards are Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds and Tree-wee things.
(Thu 11th Mar 2004, 18:13, More)
My sister's mother in law isn't very good with words
One day, she was talking about duvets, and confusing the hell out of everyone. After a while, it transpired that she meant vol au vents.
She also cooks food in a microphone, and the four suits in a deck of cards are Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds and Tree-wee things.
(Thu 11th Mar 2004, 18:13, More)
» Clients Are Stupid
A friend spent a summer working in a pub
a customer came in and ordered lasagne. A few minutes after ordering it, she beckoned my friend over from behind the bar. She had very carefully picked out the paste (i.e. the actual lasagne) from the food and put them on one side.
Her: What's this?
Friend: Lasagne.
Her: No it isn't.
Friend: Yes it is.
This escalated to the point where my friend and the chef in the pub were standing next to the customer trying to convince her that yes, that is actually lasagne on the plate. It's a pasta dish, dontcha know.
(Mon 29th Dec 2003, 23:22, More)
A friend spent a summer working in a pub
a customer came in and ordered lasagne. A few minutes after ordering it, she beckoned my friend over from behind the bar. She had very carefully picked out the paste (i.e. the actual lasagne) from the food and put them on one side.
Her: What's this?
Friend: Lasagne.
Her: No it isn't.
Friend: Yes it is.
This escalated to the point where my friend and the chef in the pub were standing next to the customer trying to convince her that yes, that is actually lasagne on the plate. It's a pasta dish, dontcha know.
(Mon 29th Dec 2003, 23:22, More)
» Strange things you've been paid to do
Two words: Bat shit
I once spent an lovely afternoon during the summer holidays from university crawling around on my hands and knees in what must have been 2-3" of bat dung lining the rafters in a church attic, running cables for the new lights my employer was installing.
(Fri 1st Oct 2004, 17:58, More)
Two words: Bat shit
I once spent an lovely afternoon during the summer holidays from university crawling around on my hands and knees in what must have been 2-3" of bat dung lining the rafters in a church attic, running cables for the new lights my employer was installing.
(Fri 1st Oct 2004, 17:58, More)