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[challenge entry] Worst job in the world?
Working in a cubefarm call centre
MWARGH!
I did it for a year... I still drink heavily and hate everyone as a consequence.

From the What is the worst job in the world? challenge. See all 53 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:29, archived)
# like snap...
dude
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:39, archived)
# One day I
chewed a groove in my keyboard and burst a knuckle on my phone - there was blood everywhere.
That was a good day.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:41, archived)
# I used to do
tech support for tiny computers, I never believed in hell until I took that job on
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:44, archived)
# Have a look in the background.

This is where I used to work... I said look at the background...
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:47, archived)
# Even seeing one
of those headsets sends me into a murderous rage.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:50, archived)
# I'm
drunk and stoned, what am I looking for in the background?
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:50, archived)
# I don't know
it was like cuboid callcentre hell really. I just wanted post that pic up of Claire again. Oh what could have been...
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:51, archived)
# After
another unsuccessful night finding a lady all i can look at is the girl!
(batardo, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 2:33, archived)
# looking for ladies?
try www.russianwives.com
(I helped save b3ta! Monkboy, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 11:29, archived)
# I did a pager service...
...fucking pagers - never heard of a mobile phone?
Half the fuckers that rang:
Me: Can I take your message for Jane Doe?
Dumb fuck: Is that Jane?
Me: Do I sound like Jane?
Dumb fuck: No. Who is this?
Me: I can take a message for Jane if you wish... This is her pager service.
Dumb fuck: Is Jane there?
Me: Goodbye *click*
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:48, archived)
# fucking hell!
luckily I never really spoke to anyone THAT stupid. It's almost funny, if it wasn't so true...
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:50, archived)
# it stops being funny
and just becomes plain scary when you reaise that people really are that stupid.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:53, archived)
# Half the callers were
that stupid - the rest were dumber...
...the management were worse. Fucked their way up through the ranks. I once got a bonus for handling a record number of calls in a month - I really just hung up on most of my calls after about 10 seconds.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:54, archived)
# So you didn't
transfer them to the local radio station then?
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 2:01, archived)
# Sometimes I would transfer them to
different queues like the mobile phone helpdesk or AA traffic info. Sometimes I would pretend to be their local pizza place. Sometimes I would whisper "I know where you live, fucko" and hang up.
It was very open ended and conducive to creativity.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 2:06, archived)
[challenge entry] Meanwhile in the midweast...
I went to the H.Q. of an American Telecoms Co. in Omaha (back in '96 the official call centre city of USA) , Nebraska to recieve training in their evil american ways & the cubicles all the ordinary staff (500+)was about 2 foot square ! Just like Dilbert, I may be have been nieve but I've seen Veal in better working conditions !
The IT staff thought they had had it easy 'cos they lived in the server room (noise, flickering lights but slightly more space) they couldn't beleive that in Europe we tend to put servers in the basement and control them remotely !
(benmonkey, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 1:55, archived)
[challenge entry] Viatel Inc.
I just remembered they went bust last year so I can slag them off :-unlike European boxes these had 6 foot plus partitions on 3 sides; no chatting with your colleagues. They used to hold up notes on sticks to pass messages to each other - it was so Vic & Bob but scary as real...
(benmonkey, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 2:03, archived)
[challenge entry] Easy everything?
My son used work for an airline...now he's a heroin addict and lives in a doorway in The Strand:

"Good morning, EasyJet, how can I help you?"

"Hello, is that EasyJet?"

"Yes it is. How can I help?"

"Oh, I want to fly to Rome, on Friday, but I can't seem to be able to book it on the Net."

"I'm afraid EasyJet don't have a route to Rome, Sir."

"But I always use EasyJet."

"That's nice to hear Sir, but we don't fly to Rome unfortunately."

"Well how am I going to get to Rome? Several airlines have routes to Rome"

"I think you might have to try another airline, Sir."

"I think EasyJet need to decide whether they want my custom or not."

"We do want your custom Sir, and we love having you as a customer, but we don't fly to Rome."

"Okay, I want to speak to your supervisor."

"I'll transfer you Sir, but she will tell you the same thing. We don't fly to Rome."

"You are the most unhelpful person I have ever spoken to in my life. Are you being deliberately difficult, or are you just a fucking moron...."


(Searcher, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 6:12, archived)
# that
is fantastic
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 11:30, archived)
# .
That's frighteningly similar to my last job. (shudders)
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sun 28 Apr 2002, 12:28, archived)
# Callcentre Hell
I too used to work in a call centre. It was by far the worst job I could ever imagine. The work load was high and job satisfaction was zero. I used to dread going to bed in the evening as I was so distressed about going to that hell hole in the morning. I turned to alcohol which helped in the short term, after which I went to the doctor who prescribed high dose anti depressants. The working environment was terrible. Too many people in too small a space. I would have a permanent cold as there were so many germs spread through the air conditioning. The management were the most insensitive people who only cared for increasing the call volumes and cutting costs to make even more unrealistic and unacheivable targets. Everyone was depressed and it was a regular sight to see people in floods of tears in the toilets. This was not helped when management would bang on the door to say that they had been in there too long and to take some more calls. This is all without mentioning the constant abuse and verbal threats I recived daily from the callers. I have since found another job and am happy again. I would advise anyone not to work in a call centre as it will ruin your life.
(Inamess, Fri 9 Aug 2002, 16:35, archived)