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This is a question Dad Jokes

We want to know the lame jokes your Dad makes. E.g. On your mum putting the roast on the table, "All for me? What are you going to eat?" On writing you a cheque for £350, "Three pound fifty? That's cheap." - What are the frankly rubbish gags your dad cracks again and again? WARNING: If you become a dad you'll be doing this stuff too.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2003, 2:09)
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The incredible art of sarcasm
Most of the jokes my dad uses are already on here but he (and my mum quite strangely) have an amazing talent for messing with people using sarcasm.
Delivery guy with wrong address: (holding out bag) Chinese?
Dad: No, I'm English thanks (proceeds to close door, leaving the bloke standing there looking bemused)

Walking through Birmingham city centre
Big Issue seller: BIG ISSUE!
Dad: Bless you!
Big Issue seller: Are you taking the piss?

He insists that both were accidental but I don't believe him. Slightly off topic but worth a mention is my mum's greatest moment of humour:
2 American girls, pimping for God or something came to the door and asked "Do you believe?" to which my mum replied "Yes, in sex, drugs and violence." She slammed the door and they just stood staring at the weeds on the doorstep for about 10 minutes.

While I'm about it, my dad always says "Beg your parsnips" instead of "Beg your pardon." This cracks up my flat mates who have gone on and on about it for months now.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2003, 14:31, Reply)

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