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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 43, 42, 41, 40, 39, 38, 37, 36, ... 1

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The US announced it will continue to use standard imperial measurements
But not furlong.
(I helped save b3ta! the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Sat 11 Feb 2023, 15:52, 2 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
Who was the seashore's favourite song writer?
Burt Bladderwrack
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Fri 10 Feb 2023, 17:21, Reply)
What do you call a Black Person who hates jews?
Ne-Yo Nazi.
(FrenchBoast, Fri 10 Feb 2023, 14:04, 2 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
What's the difference between A Orgasm and Liz Truss?
My Orgasms lasted longer.
(FrenchBoast, Fri 10 Feb 2023, 14:03, 1 reply, 1 year ago)
How can you generate images by looking?
A.Eye
(FrenchBoast, Fri 10 Feb 2023, 14:02, Reply)
Why do Ukrainian soldiers' willies keep flopping out?
Because they are operating in a no fly zone.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Thu 9 Feb 2023, 15:34, Reply)
Why does Robert De Niro avoid pancakes?
Crêpe fear
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 7 Feb 2023, 23:01, 1 reply, 1 year ago)
see men
the female sperm asked the male sperm,
is their any women in here?
the male said:

sorry no, I only see men.


haha.

this came off the top of my head. dont blame me.
(sosaucyyyy22 -, Tue 7 Feb 2023, 17:54, 2 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
What did Paul McCartney say when John Lennon dipped a soldier in his boiled egg?
You should leave yolk alone you.
(I helped save b3ta! TomOz, Tue 7 Feb 2023, 1:57, 2 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
In what 80s film did Bruce Willis play the voice of a baby chicken?
Die Hard
no
hang-on...Look Who's Bawking
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 3 Feb 2023, 12:09, 13 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
What do you call it when people shout "It's behind you!" and you spin around and there's a colour wheel?
A Pantonemine
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 2 Feb 2023, 5:21, 3 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
How did William Archibald Spooner's domestic cavy refer to its temporary job manufacturing pinafores?
A pinny gig!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Mon 30 Jan 2023, 8:38, Reply)
Q. What comedian will turn on you and angrily insist that, no, he WASN'T just doing impressions of George from Rainbow and Mrs Slocombe and that in fact maybe it was YOU who were doing them?
A. Bobby DARVO.
(I helped save b3ta! hagbardsapple no dialogue with twunts, Sun 29 Jan 2023, 15:41, Reply)
Extra comedy verse for 'I know an Old lady'
I know an Old Lady who swallowed a Hippopotamus,
Fuckin' 'ell...
She'll eat the lot of us!

That'll surprise the kids.

Yeah I got a Hippopotamus into a rhyme.
(Captain_lambkin adifferent.me, Fri 27 Jan 2023, 16:56, 1 reply, 1 year ago)
poem

(sivle weathercock, Fri 27 Jan 2023, 11:27, Reply)
When is an American singer, songwriter and actress born in 1958, my takeaway?
When she's ma doner
(I helped save b3ta! browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 18 Jan 2023, 21:06, Reply)
How do you know a badger is clever?
It's in the top SETT!
(I helped save b3ta! browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 18 Jan 2023, 21:00, Reply)
Did you know that in the 1970s, Jim Davidson was offered the chance to invest in a new World War-themed strategy board game?
He decided against it. Apparently, it was "Too Risk-y"
(I helped save b3ta! hagbardsapple no dialogue with twunts, Wed 18 Jan 2023, 12:06, Reply)
which 1980s synthpop band first met at a crossroads?
Depeche Node!
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 17 Jan 2023, 18:12, Reply)
which 1980s synthpop band are wider than they are tall?
Depeche Chode!
(beepeedee Inner City Sumo, Tue 17 Jan 2023, 14:44, Reply)
Why did the Spaniard strap pigs to his car wheels?
In case he needed to jamon the brakes.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 17 Jan 2023, 8:07, 1 reply, 1 year ago)
Why did Anakin keep fidgeting during the pod race?
He needed a pea.
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 14 Jan 2023, 23:41, Reply)
Hear about that pervert photographer with two cocks?
Arrested for double exposure :(
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Thu 12 Jan 2023, 0:52, Reply)
Which film series will feature Caitlyn Jenner and Yasmin Finney?
eX-MEN
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Wed 11 Jan 2023, 19:14, 3 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
What would James Bond be selling if he claimed to be a pushy salesman?

(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Wed 11 Jan 2023, 16:48, 6 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
Which Smashing Pumpkins album is an electronic device or application software used for recording, editing and producing audio files?
A DAW
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 9 Jan 2023, 11:44, 11 replies, latest was 1 year ago)
Who's the luckiest Smashing Pumpkin?
JAMMY Chamberlain!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Mon 9 Jan 2023, 9:16, Reply)
Which former Smashing Pumpkin's role in the band was reimagined after she left?
D'Arcy WRETCON!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Mon 9 Jan 2023, 8:52, Reply)
Which Smashing Pumpkin is the biggest cowboy?
James YEE-HAW!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Mon 9 Jan 2023, 8:51, Reply)

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