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This is a question Crazy People off the Internet

The internet is full of mental. Ever been threatened with violence? Did it spill over into real life? Tell us your story. Or maybe you wish to buck the trend and tell us about the how you've met lots of quite nice, sane people.

Suggested by Mark Morrisons Prison Shoes

(, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 11:54)
Pages: Popular, 4, 3, 2, 1

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HUNT ME DOWN!

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 16:53, 125 replies)
'...which is why I chose to ignore you, like the Star-Tac you are'

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:05, closed)


(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:12, closed)


(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:14, closed)
Oh god.
You've ruined my internet.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:15, closed)
LOOK INTO HIS EYES.
No wonder The Resident Loon gets so pissed off with him eh.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:22, closed)
He's making my soul cry.

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:28, closed)
He's making my helmet cry.

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:34, closed)
lol

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 18:04, closed)
he has me on ignore
So he's a liar as well as a bore.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 18:28, closed)
He's not a bore.
Apparently some of his "stories" have made the top twenty which means he's a motherfucking raconteur and bowchikka ladies' man. Oh yeah.


I wish I were making this up.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 19:15, closed)
he once ruined my dining experience with his Motorola Startac.
And he drove BGB to suicide.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 19:59, closed)
And me, though I'm not sure why.
Probably for not denouncing the commies trolls loudly enough.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 2:59, closed)
I don't get it
but I'm guessing you're the crazy here, 'cause I don't see Resident Loon posting this sort of mental shit
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 19:47, closed)
Lolwhut?

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 19:50, closed)
It's a snatch of his gaz burblings.
Which bit of this is confusing you?

Wait ... don't answer that ... nobody cares.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 20:05, closed)
So wait
You photoshopped the image above to show how mental he was?

Still sounds pretty mental to me.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 20:08, closed)
Fuck. You're right.
Thirty seconds of photoshop is unprecedented on a website built primarily around ... photoshop. Derpity doo!
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 20:10, closed)
BUT I THOUGHT THIS WAS A COMEDY FORUM!!!!
Still waiting for the comedy
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 20:24, closed)
Imagine if you can, that the Resident Loon is an autobot who 'transforms' from a tedious pun-spouter into a stalky gaz-loon.

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 20:07, closed)
Imagine, if you will, that I really gave the slightest fuck about you, or what you say

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 20:09, closed)
We don't really need to use much imagination given your apparent obsession with him.

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 20:11, closed)
Who, Resident Loon?
You're the one who started the thread, you obsessed massive homo
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 20:22, closed)
Is English your third language?

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 20:28, closed)
Yes
No

I dunno, keep posting, I'm drunk and bored
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 21:14, closed)
So you're at home on your own getting drunk and upset on the internet?
Excellent work.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 9:07, closed)
Nah, yesterday I started drinking in Soho
Then I carried on in Camden

Then I got home and amused myself by trolling you guys while watching Buffy with the missus
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 10:22, closed)
Yup. You definitely trolled us there.
This is a definite case of you making other people look tragic. No diggedy.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 11:40, closed)
Well, this has certainly convinced me of your indifference.
And after I tried to explain it to you in terms you'd understand as well..
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 20:39, closed)
Explain it to me in terms of a scrawny, bony, little fucker having sex with a woman the size of Mount Snowdon
I might get it then
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 21:12, closed)
Oh man, this is the most self-referential QOTW thread ever.
You're actually turning into a crazy internet person, in a thread about a crazy internet person.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 21:25, closed)
Hahahaha
So is it true you married that?
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 21:32, closed)
Would it help I told you what she turns into?

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 21:36, closed)
I have a screencap of your previous reply before you edited it just in case you need it for your archive
But seriously, did you really marry it?
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 21:41, closed)
I'm liking this interesting response to 'people posting mental shit' of 'post more mental shit'.

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 21:42, closed)
Nah, I'll humour you
So she turns into what?
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:05, closed)
You are really coming across well here.
No, really.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:17, closed)
Would you like to hazard a guess as to which posters in this thread are the ones generally regarded as trolls and bullies?

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:18, closed)
Hahahahaha
So, did you?
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:19, closed)
Dude, you're never going to pass Basic Marshmallow 101 with skilz like this.

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:29, closed)
Eh, at least I'm online and paying attention to you
That's about the best you're going to get, like, ever
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:32, closed)
Still drunk
Still bored
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:18, closed)
INTERNETTING
It's like doing mouth farts with your fingers.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:45, closed)
Whatever you do, don't tell him the transformer story.
It'll confuse him so much he might turn into a nonce.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 21:46, closed)
Well, no. I wouldn't want to turn a man with a fetish for toys into some kind of dodgy pervy type

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 21:47, closed)
I love fresh electrical components...

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 21:48, closed)
So speaks the voice of experience

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:10, closed)
NO U

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:17, closed)
I'm not sure of your logic on this one,
I'm going off your fetish for childrens' toys.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:49, closed)
I'm going off your experience of noncing

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 23:04, closed)
But I haven't got any experience of noncing, nor of being nonced.
You, however, have a well documented fetish for toys and dead ropey women who look like you've paid them in class A narcotics.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 23:24, closed)
Save it for the judge, paedo

(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 23:50, closed)
So that's libel right there then, yeah?
MODS!
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 23:54, closed)
Angry, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son.

(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 9:54, closed)
Who said I was angry?
I was celebrating getting an awesome new job in TVland yesterday :)
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 10:25, closed)
I like your idea of celebration.
I particularly like the bit where you spend the evening being upset on the internet and then pretend that your incoherent blubbing should be blamed on your inability to hold your booze.

I mean ... I can understand your need to get drunk in order to tolerate an evening in the squat with your heroin-drained missus. But you could at least pay the poor moll a bit of attention rather than complaining about your boredom to strangers on the internet.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 13:02, closed)
Again, you think I'm upset
I was just enjoying the sport - now I'm full time employed again I won't have as much opportunity to wind up the shutins here
(, Sun 25 Nov 2012, 8:28, closed)


(, Sun 25 Nov 2012, 9:57, closed)
There aren't enough clicks in the world for this.

(, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 11:52, closed)
Cheers.

(, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 7:11, closed)
Well he's from the West Midlands and has lived on a council estate, so it's already a given that he's irredeemably thick and racist.
Noncing is only a few short steps from there.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 3:03, closed)
You're thinking of Monty

(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 11:03, closed)
Oh do be quiet you oaf.

(, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 10:18, closed)
Hahahaha
Hello Monty, still thick and racist, then?
(, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 10:23, closed)
Do shut up, there's a dear.

(, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 10:33, closed)
Oh Monts
Always with the zingy one-liners
(, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 10:38, closed)
That's a pretty horrible thing to say about someone you know nothing about.
Says quite a lot about you really.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 13:40, closed)
Whoa, there. Go easy, gonz.
He was totally drunk while celebrating an awesome job and yet simultaneously bored despite being with his (admittedly smack-wracked) life partner watching shit telly. This clearly explains his online whimpering and obsession with the happy and healthy relationship of two complete strangers.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:39, closed)
You're right, it does say a lot about me
It says that I pick my targets, for one thing
(, Sun 25 Nov 2012, 8:25, closed)
*waves*

(, Sun 25 Nov 2012, 22:56, closed)
Yes, I imagine there are

(, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 9:56, closed)
It's funny because I am fat.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
(, Mon 26 Nov 2012, 13:23, closed)
Wow...
... So now anyone who doesn't agree with Dr. "Is English your fourth language? LOLZ" Shambolic and AB's point of view gets some kind of double ended malcoordinated dry-humping. Abused because they're using the internet at the same time at them, and seem to project everything they fear about themselves onto their victim. Way to go!

I'm guessing my incoherent ramblings will wash off, because I'm obviously a sad troll (who can't troll), sadly using the internet on a Saturday night. Maybe English is my fourth language.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 21:58, closed)
I think you might have missed the point of b3ta, here.

(, Sun 25 Nov 2012, 0:30, closed)
Please enlighten
Maybe English is my fifth language.
(, Sun 25 Nov 2012, 5:27, closed)
The thing that nobody seems to have pointed out here is that he got trolled on reddit,
which is the internet equivalent of being beaten at chess by someone with cerebral palsy.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:53, closed)

I knew a guy with cerebral palsy who was fairly good at chess. In fact, a full third of cerebral palsy sufferers exhibit no mental deficiency whatsoever - another third are classed as having only mild difficulties. It's a motor condition, more than a mental one.

So yeah, it's not so difficult to get beaten at chess by someone with cerebral palsy. One beat me, and I'm pretty sure he'd beat you. This is presuming, of course, that you are prepared to abandon the 'knocking over the King indicates forfeiture of the game' convention; calling him on that would be ungentlemanly, and extremely churlish.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 23:36, closed)
I was assuming, hwhat with it being a motor condition, that they'd have trouble moving the pieces....
thus making them not very good at chess. or embroidery for that matter.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 23:39, closed)

If we can kid droidnap him, I'll get Stephen Hawking to play you at Battlechess. By your logic, you should marmalise him.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 23:43, closed)
Stop picking apart my half arsed simile and focus on the real matter here.
He was trolled by someone ON REDDIT.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 23:46, closed)

I've never bothered with Reddit. How cretinous is it, compared to - by way of a yardstick - Yahoo! Answers?
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 23:48, closed)
It is generally described as a dickhive of idiocy.
It's like if Yahoo Answers and this place had a malformed baby.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 23:53, closed)

That is more or less 4chan.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 0:01, closed)
Funnily enough, another term used to describe it is '4chan with a condom.'

(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 0:04, closed)
Succinct.
I think I understand now.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 0:09, closed)
I'M IGNORING YOU.
And everyone else in this thread. You're all horrid.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 22:55, closed)
Is this how you actually see the posts on here?
It would explain a lot.
(, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 23:40, closed)
Dylsexia is no laughing matter.

(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 0:54, closed)
True.
He's never raised so much as a chuckle.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 1:02, closed)
Is English your fourth language?

(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 9:06, closed)

You can probably get some sort of medication for text-based schizophrenia - but in your case, I would recommend the Liverpool Care Pathway.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 10:20, closed)
Fifth language?
Or are you just a 'bot? That would be less depressing than thinking there's an actual human mind behind this prattling.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 11:33, closed)

...as a fringe benefit, nil-by-mouth for a bit might help you shed some of those middle-age pounds.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 11:45, closed)
Why would you think I'm fat?
Is this projection or just a desperate need to find something imperfect about me to take the edge off the envy?
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 13:00, closed)

Well, you're certainly more likely to be mistaken for Guy Garvey than for Twiggy.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 13:56, closed)
I never knew Dr. Shambolic was that handsome.
Blimey.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:19, closed)
I'm 6'3 and have a beard.
Derp.

And if you're stalking me then why would you still think I'm fat? Derp? Are you the new Bou?
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:28, closed)

Is that height, or girth?
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:32, closed)
You're really not very good at this, are you?
Perhaps you'd be better suited on cbeebies or the My Little Pony chat boards?
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:35, closed)
Ok, you didn't like that.
Fair enough. But I have a hilarious jape that will absolutely blow your tiny mind:


(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:57, closed)
Good work on showing everybody that you've been clicking on my profile, boy whimper.

(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 15:14, closed)
In all fairness, EMV's trying to make it so it's like that.

(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 9:17, closed)
It's like that?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hN1SKVx31s
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 9:37, closed)
Soz for being late and that
Is there anyone drunk who wants to fight me?
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 0:27, closed)
I've only had a few since I knocked off work
but I reckon I'll be up for it later. Gimme a chance to knock back another bottle or six, read some more of this shit and get really angry.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 1:56, closed)
Yeah!
Would you like to borrow a stool to stand on?
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 9:06, closed)
Bored now
Might just have a wank instead.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 9:41, closed)
Yeah!
Would you like a stool to rest it on?
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 11:34, closed)
(I mean a poo stool)

(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 13:22, closed)
Yes
One made of poo
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:47, closed)
Yes.
Stool can also mean poo. As in poo.
(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:50, closed)
Stool pie!

(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 15:27, closed)
A cha cha cha!

(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 15:29, closed)
I sets em up

(, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 15:55, closed)

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