Tight jeans and unlocked phones
I was heading out on the lash in lovely Nice with my missus and a few mates. As we left our apartment (well, not ours, we rented it off a familly friend), I jammed my phone into the pocket of my jeans. Jeans which fit me before I spent a week in the south of France, eating pastry by the tonne, but were no "a little snug".

At about 2 in the morning, we were sat outside a bar, putting down yet another bottle of stupidly cheap French plonk and I somehow manageed to dial my new boss, who hapens to be first first in my phonebook.

I didn't realise this and the conversationwe were having about how much we hate our jobs continued as normal.

Because the call was made in the middle of the night and my boss puts his phone on silent, it went to voicemail. So I left him a message that said "such a completely useless fucking cunt. No really, I don't call people cunts much, but he's an utterly useless one. You wouldn't trust the thick, ugly twat to run a tap, let alone anything else, the cunt". This statement was said with impecable timing, because the voicemail message cut off the first four words of my rant, which were "My new boss is"

When I got back to work, he played the message for the whole office and asked "who were you talking about, Scouse?" after a moment's panic, I said "Gordon Brown".

And the call cost me about a tenner...
(ScousersPet, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 13:57, 5 replies)

close shave!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:00, closed)

!!

Good quick thinking, I'm hoping that you don't still work there!

At least it's nice that Nice was nice.
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:01, closed)

unfortunately I do
Have an interview tomorrow though.

As time has worn on, I've come to realise that my boss isn't a completely useless cunt. Calling him that is an insult to completely useless cunts.
(ScousersPet, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:11, closed)

Good luck with your interview

Hopefully if you get the job, you can tell him the truth about the message, haha!
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:17, closed)

Cost you a tenner...
...but not your job! Hurrah
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 14:07, closed)