Titch and his bloody Van
After signing up for an inauspiciously long contract with an incompetent, overpriced, useless company that ryhmes with loadabone, I started getting calls from people asking for someone called 'Titch'.

Weeks of politely informing them that Titch was no longer at this number and never had been, I started to get a little concerned that something dodgy was happening.

A couple of similar wrong numbers later, I started to enquire to these strange and almost always thick accented yorkshiremen as to the nature of these calls and who 'Titch' was.

I found out that 'Titch' was a slightly special, height challenged mechanic who specialised in van repairs based in Hull who had put MY phone number (one digit difference from his) on his invoices.

I always imagined him to be like a motor savvy quasimodo or Igor who sleeps in an old battery hen hut on a farm, lusts after the milk maid and started his own business so he could buy her wonderful and shiny things...

Not one to pass up an opportunity and with previous experience of prank phonecalls on my childish resume, I decided to start fucking with Titch's business.

I told some of his clients to drop the money round to...29 King street... Ive never been to Hull so dont know if this road even exists. I arranged to have a look at people's Vans and told them to "come round to my house at 8.30 tonight" and even told one guy not to worry about paying cos "this one's on the house".

I was rumbled a couple of times but it's amazing how much people will believe you if you sound confident enough and obviously can carry off a dumb yorkshire accent! This continued for about 6 Months. I think he's changed his invoices now!

Poor Titch, He should take more care when writing his contact details down. Oh well... it was good for a laugh.
(Eggstrovert isnt patronising you...honest..., Thu 30 Jul 2009, 17:08, Reply)