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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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Ha!
I've finished work for the day and I'm going to the pub!

Beat that you Gaylords.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:47, 151 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Evening doll.
I've applied for three jobs today. I rock.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:50, Reply)
Cliff Richards less....
Tell me about the jobs.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:52, Reply)
One marketing
one marketing/account management
one catalogue planner/compiler

I've heard back from one already, saying that they'll get back to me soon.
the agency I contacted the other week hadn't replied to me, so I called them and they basically said 'hang on, we're busy. We'll get back to you when we're good n ready'
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:55, Reply)
I'm going to the launderette
aren't I the personification of cool?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:51, Reply)
I like your little basement hovel.
It's cute. I can't possibly imagine a piano in there though.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:52, Reply)
Well, you hum it....

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:55, Reply)
It is cute
the piano is an issue, though.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:58, Reply)
Had you not considered
a Bontempi keyboard?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:03, Reply)
It's a digital, to be fair
I'd never get a proper one down the steps...
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:06, Reply)
You are my favourite
Dot Cotton/Levi commercial crossover.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:54, Reply)
I heard Nick Kamen shagged Dot Cotton.
Apparently she was wearing a blonde wig and he thought it was Madonna.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:56, Reply)
Madonna has a fishy minge
Like a sturgeon lolz.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:02, Reply)
Im going to have a nap and a baked potato.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:53, Reply)
ROCK
and/or roll.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:55, Reply)
not at the same time, Im not Elvis

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:59, Reply)
Which roughly
Translates to, 'Gaylord'.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:56, Reply)
I'm meeting up with your mum later on for non holds barred hot sex !!
Your dads gonna this time and all
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:55, Reply)
Don't do her up the Gadd
apparently Monty's been tehre already today.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:57, Reply)
My father what?
You Gaylord.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:57, Reply)
He's the only man I've ever loved

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:08, Reply)
What about me? :'(

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:11, Reply)
what about me? :'(

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:17, Reply)
what about dozer? :' (

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:18, Reply)
I've been in The Shooting Star since 5:15
They do a chicken breast stuffed with black pudding and wrapped in bacon that's to die for.

Had a technical interview which got me through to being interviewed by the CTO and the Dev manager and they happy for me to see HR. Sadly HR couldn't fit me in today so I have to do a phone interview tomorrow. Woo!
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:57, Reply)
I hate you.
And anyone else who's had jobsearch success.
Cunts, the lot of you.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:59, Reply)
I have a great new job and I earn more than Battered.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:02, Reply)
Yeah, but you look like a snake-hipped bender.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:02, Reply)
I am a snake hipped bender.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:04, Reply)
hugz 4 u

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:08, Reply)
feelin the luv

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:09, Reply)
Good luck.
I felt my interview yesterday went well; now I'm just waiting for a phone call.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:18, Reply)
Good luck granddad

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:22, Reply)
Ta. And to you.
I'd be taking a massive paycut, but fuck it, I need something. This seems like a nice place to work and it's in the middle of town so I'll not be stuck on a trading estate miles from anywhere for the first time in years.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:25, Reply)
That'll be nice.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:33, Reply)
I'll be getting a massive pay rise
Hope this helps!
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:09, Reply)
It does, thanks!

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:49, Reply)
\o/

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:57, Reply)
bendoids.
I swear, I have never been as good looking as I am right now.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 17:59, Reply)
That's nothing, Jeff.
I finished work in June last year and I've been in the pub ever since.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:23, Reply)
You win.
Fingers crossed about the job mate.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:34, Reply)
Cheers.
I have a reasonable feeling about it but I'm not raising my hopes.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:58, Reply)
I'm eating 90% cocoa chocolate
and watching quizshows. It barely counts as chocolate really.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 18:25, Reply)
I might do pub quiz tonight.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:02, Reply)
In other news, my latest Last.fm friend is a 70 year old guy from Gorseinon.
We have a lot of music in common and he digs my radio station.

I dunno whether to be chuffed or embarrassed.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:04, Reply)
you should always be embarrased
particularly about your lack of knowledge regarding personal tax allowances
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:21, Reply)
Excuse me?

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:22, Reply)
I may be thinking of someone else...

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:23, Reply)
Does he have a SIX FIGURE SALARY?

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:24, Reply)
don't you?

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:25, Reply)
Don't we all.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:25, Reply)
HELL YEAH!!
*wipes arse with monies*
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:26, Reply)
gorseinon?
near swansea? Weird
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:21, Reply)
Why is that weird?
They have men and the internet there, right?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:23, Reply)
I didn't think internet had got that far
he's probably hiding from the locals with pitchforks who think it's witchcraft
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:25, Reply)
He'd never heard Galaxie 500 before he tuned in to radio Dozer.
We've all done it.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:26, Reply)
Evenin' all
not been around today, so who's been stepped, banned or had a bertdown?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:19, Reply)
All three.
CQ reported me to teh modz.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:23, Reply)
I haven't checked my gazzes yet

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:24, Reply)
And B3th called me a snake-hipped bender lookalike.
Ban her plz.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:26, Reply)
Oh man the hammer is going to hit her so hard she'll wake up on the Isle of Lundy

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:27, Reply)
Can you also please ban Battered for being such a pompous arse?
Sometimes I swear he thinks he run ting round here.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:28, Reply)
I fuckin ban everyone you cunts

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:32, Reply)
I am trying to stop my face being inside out
after a testing sip of sourz skittles vodka. mmmmm. There is nothing so great as a green drink that has an orange head.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:21, Reply)
stick a finger up your arse and try to fart

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:24, Reply)
*POP*
cheers, that did the trick
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:25, Reply)
OFFICAL THE APPRENTISE UK 2012 SUBTHREAD RIGHT HERE.
Who's looking forward to it? Bore off all you "It's fuck all to do with buisness" psudo-interlectual types, talking as if they're the only one to think that. It's entertaining watching someone with a big ego make themselves unemployable for life.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:25, Reply)
I like it and hate it in equal measures
My wife knows Tom who won last year, his sister is a fucking dick
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:25, Reply)
It's fun to get fustrated at people on the telly, it gets the right mix.
Doesn't supprise me that people on that show are dicks in real life.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:54, Reply)
Never really watched it.
I caught some of an episode a while back and was of the opinion that all the contestants were utter wankers.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:32, Reply)
I have never watched it and am always surprised when people
I respect the opinion of like it. I just imagine it to be a bit like big brother but with suits
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:42, Reply)
Well, my day's been a roundhouse to the nuts.
A clusterfuck of my own devising. So I'm getting drunk and playing an online game.

Note to interested parties: if exes appear to hate you, chances are they probably do.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:40, Reply)
If they are exes, why do you give a fuck?

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:42, Reply)
This is a question which many people have been asking me.
I just do.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:45, Reply)
You are a girl?
Because you sound like a little bitch
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:47, Reply)
ooh, that's the kind of thing I say.
Does that mean I'm a bent spastic as well?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:48, Reply)
fraid so
might as well embrace it
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:49, Reply)
fookinell

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:49, Reply)
Then try not to.
Giving a fuck isn't going to get you anywhere, is it?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:48, Reply)
ice cream, vodka
loud music, one night stand
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:48, Reply)
You and me baby?

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:49, Reply)
ain't nothing but mammals

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:50, Reply)
*smooths eyebrows*

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:51, Reply)
is this advice or an invite?

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:49, Reply)
SHE WAS INVITING ME.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:50, Reply)
I don't have a limit on numbers

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:50, Reply)

numbers orifices
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:52, Reply)
I draw the line
at making extra orifices. Definitely
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:53, Reply)
and cocks

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:53, Reply)
Remember Tim Westwood's advice
"Wrap it up, before you slap it up"
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:51, Reply)
Drop the bomb.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:52, Reply)
I like how just thinking about
tim westward works as a contraceptive
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:52, Reply)
*westwood*

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:53, Reply)
No, she's talking about the DJ that only ever faces the setting sun

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:58, Reply)
My mistake, sorry.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:59, Reply)
I have hard liquor

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:50, Reply)
I bought Auchentoshan on Friday.
Might have some with lemonade later.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:52, Reply)
topped up with some auto-asphixiation
You Tory scum
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:53, Reply)
You are confusing me with Battered.
He's the midget Zammo, I'm the Maroon 5 dude.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:54, Reply)
Adam Levine is an awful cunt

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:55, Reply)
Handsome cunt though.
Unlike Zammo.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:56, Reply)
Ga-aaaaay

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:57, Reply)
What, so you don't/can't tell when a man is good looking?
How old are you, 13?
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:58, Reply)
I'm not freefair

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:00, Reply)
That's right, freefair isn't universally derided and hated.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:01, Reply)
:(((((
I thought we were friends doz...
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:05, Reply)
We were until you called me a bender.
You massive willy woofter.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:07, Reply)
I have rum.
When in need of comfort, I pretend I'm a pirate. It's a coping mechanism, shut up.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:53, Reply)
You arr such a bender.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:54, Reply)
when at the gym on the rowing machine
I sometimes put on seashanties on my MP3.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:54, Reply)

gym pier
rowing Postman Pat baby ride
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:55, Reply)
OMG!
I'm totally going to do that, now. NOt sure if there is anything like that on the pier round here, just a monkey with tits
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:59, Reply)
A monkey...with tits?
*stiffens*
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:00, Reply)

www.wincantoncameraclub.co.uk/gallery/Mumbles-monkey-business,-by-Brian-Ellard.jpg
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:00, Reply)
fuckin' 'ell I'm ginna have nightmares

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:01, Reply)
sexy nightmares

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:01, Reply)
Stop talking about nightmares!
I've had nightmares every night this week. I don't know what that's all about, but I've had enough.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:03, Reply)
you must confront the tit-monkey

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:05, Reply)
I'm not kidding. I'm starting to dread going to sleep.
Anyone would think I had something on my mind...
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:09, Reply)
oh dear :(

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:16, Reply)
She is well fit.
Yum.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:01, Reply)
You could top yourself if it all gets too much.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:51, Reply)
I'm really more of the drinking and moping type.
If I go and top myself, I will just look like an even bigger, softer cunt.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:52, Reply)
There is only one thing that you can really do.
DYAAKY.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 19:58, Reply)
Sound advice
It's what she would have wanted.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:00, Reply)
Make it so.
Picardlols.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:00, Reply)
"I'm a mushroom"

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:01, Reply)
I bet you even sing along to Nickelbacks breakthrough single 'How you remind me' whilst you cry yourself to sleep

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:07, Reply)
I'm too old for that.
I'm of the "Everybody Hurts" generation.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:11, Reply)
Time is a great healer Kroney, don't piss your life away, you've got so much to live for ...
srs though have you tried skag yet? I got liquid morphine as an unofficial christmas present and that shit was the business
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:15, Reply)
I thought I'd have a go on crystal meth
I hear it's slimming.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:21, Reply)
Vipros is the singer in Nickelback.
FACT.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:13, Reply)
It's not like me to say sorry.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:14, Reply)
It *is* the hardest word...

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:15, Reply)
Is that in the lyrics? If not, you have ruined this gag.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:16, Reply)
Fuck you, you great bender.
It was a song joke.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:17, Reply)
A song joke perhaps, but not one about the same song.
So yeah, you ruined it.

Well done.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:18, Reply)
Arse.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:22, Reply)
DYAAKY.
Thanks.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:22, Reply)
I'm all for insulting past regulars, that'll learn them to leave and have lives and shit

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:16, Reply)
That's why I did it.
My bitterness has made my soul shrivel up to the size of a winkle.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:18, Reply)
I think my life is over.
I've just watched Eastenders for two nights running.
Kill me. Kill me now.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:01, Reply)
Pat Butcher is on Facebook?

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:03, Reply)
Pat Butcher's dead, Kroney.
Much like this meme.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:07, Reply)
I love this meme.
I was there when I saw it born, I never thought I'd be there to see it die.

:'(
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:10, Reply)
I love the meme, too.
It's such a shame it didn't catch on. The flame that burns the brightest etc
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:11, Reply)
The Bangles less successful etc etc
Now that is one shit meme.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:12, Reply)
You're using it wrong.
If I'd said "to my eternal shame" for example, then you'd have been bang on.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:16, Reply)
I was just trying to shoehorn it in so I could call it shit.

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:19, Reply)
-__-

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:11, Reply)
*pokes Bianca*

(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:04, Reply)
:(
that's where the nightmares are coming from
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 20:08, Reply)

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