the apprentice - cunts
that is all
( zulu eh?, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:00, 104 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

and Alan Sugar the biggest cunt of the lot.
Still essential viewing though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:02, Reply)

Essential?
I'm currently arguing with Mrs Dupinblue about whether she can stick the telly on to watch it.
I am listening to music.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:05, Reply)

It's like watching a group of estate agents, double glazing salesmen and secondhand car dealers wave their tiny cocks in front of a self publicising (albeit successful) ego to find out who has got the largest of all the small ones.
So of course it's worth watching, just to play management bullshit bingo.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:08, Reply)

It's been on five minutes and I've heard about twenty bullshit classics already.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:09, Reply)

Am cooking and will start watching it from the beginning thanks to Sky + in about 10 minutes.
As my wife is away I can shout at the TV as much as I like. Result.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:11, Reply)

yes my other half watches it upstairs while i shout at the telly downstairs
I hate it, but have to watch the fuckers fail
( zulu eh?, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:12, Reply)

So far I've spotted a drag queen, a melted face, and a bug-eyed freak.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:13, Reply)

Been looking at the OT Flickr page again?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:14, Reply)

hahahaha

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:15, Reply)

When I was 12-14 years old I followed his career to learn about economics.
I did fucking well out of it too, saw Amstrad rise from 50p to about £6 and then finally down to about £4. I also saw Spurs to tribble too.

I think he's a fucking great man, there is not many people at his level who can say they got there from where he came from. Got a lot of love for self made people who come from nothing.

I can't stand people who talk about their millionare-idea that they've had for years but won't ever do anything about, I've done it myself (although I've gone for it too, I have a lot of ideas) and it's the worst quality I see in me when I do that. It's worst when they claim its outside of their control due to finances but aren't even bothered to write up a buisness plan.

I see it quite a lot with people who want me to build them a website, where I do all the work and investment and I get 50%. When their idea for a website isn't much more "It's facebook, only for [some demographic]", when they haven't even had the first thought about the ovbouse functionailty, let alone backends and resources.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:46, Reply)

Separate question. Where's Noel been recently?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:27, Reply)

for a walk
i think
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:28, Reply)

Are you in touch with him IRL?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:31, Reply)

He pops up on here from time to time
he's on facebook still if you want me to give him a message? I think he's just been busy with stuff.
(berk, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:33, Reply)

Please do. Tell him he's a cunt for me. A cunt that should participate more and that it has been too long since I saw him at a previous bash.
Ta.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:34, Reply)

Noel's more on facebook than here these days.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:55, Reply)

Cunts, eh....
Any of us could win it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:36, Reply)

Well, if recent performance is anything to go by
we certainly wouldn't be any worse than them.

"Oh, we're the best team ever. We're in this together."
"We lost."
"It's all your fault. I told you from teh beginning. You suck."
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:43, Reply)

I'd be shit on The Apprentice.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:44, Reply)

You're shit everywhere.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:46, Reply)

I shit everywhere?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:49, Reply)

I've just realised all the girls have painted-on eyebrows.
Is this a pre-requisite in business? Is that where I'm going wrong?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 21:45, Reply)

This morning I was sat behind a lass on the bus who spent nearly half the journey applying what I only describe as a death mask in burnt umber.
I just had to look away, it was possibly the most nauseating thing I've ever seen at that time in the morning. No human skin anywhere is that shade, not unless there's some human/ochre mine hybrid lurking round somewhere.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:03, Reply)

anyone still here?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:08, Reply)

*winks*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:11, Reply)

well hello there

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:11, Reply)

Alright Cavoid?
I am sipping Auchentoshan and listening to Bonnie 'Prince' Billy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:14, Reply)

good for you
i am doing nothing and listening to something odd on 6music.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:17, Reply)

EXCITEMENT, RIGHT HERE ON THE INTERNET!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:18, Reply)

yup
that's pretty much why i'm on the internet. If i were doing interesting things, I wouldn't be on here
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:20, Reply)

I am listening to Bonnie Billy sing Puff the Magic Dragon.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:21, Reply)

'Ere Cap'n!
*attempts to salute with bad arm, winces, swears and stands lopsidedly to attention.*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:22, Reply)

evening
is that arm any better yet?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:29, Reply)

Got a nice metal plate in it now and mending as we speak.
Will take 6 weeks to heal properly though and I'm still not quite right after the general on Saturday, I have however managed to lay off the Tramadol as they zombied me good and proper.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:32, Reply)

you're like some kind of zombie cyborg

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:33, Reply)

Yeah, it's one hell of a lot less fun than it sounds.
It mostly involves sitting on the sofa trying to find the energy to do the washing up.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:56, Reply)

Just sat down. Anything exciting happened today?
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:25, Reply)

Hey Mumps.
Not a lot, I've been too busy, sorry.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:26, Reply)

Oh well, CQ
There's always tomorrow
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:28, Reply)

I joined in with the gay shift and made some more friends. >:)

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:27, Reply)

Nice one
I must try that
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:29, Reply)

you'r normaly Gay Shift.
You just pissed off battered, which is not hard. I'd be more impressed if yopu actually got soemone to like you.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:30, Reply)

is he finding someone new to argue with
?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:31, Reply)

I think he has a mental tick that causes him to shout "bert" at strangers.
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:36, Reply)

BERT!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:39, Reply)

I'm not normally gay shift.
But I logged my phone in so I could gaz Monty.

I usually lurk in the daytime.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:39, Reply)

Can't use t'internet at work during the day, but I would if I could.
Have you got the bertourettes too?
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:43, Reply)

I don't have any sort of Tourette's.
So shit the fuck off.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:44, Reply)

BERT!
FUCK! It must be contagious
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:46, Reply)

FUCK OFF BERT!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:48, Reply)

Bert the bert off
I'm going to bert you in the bert
Berting things up my cockend and berting them out

Am I getting the hang of it here or no?
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:58, Reply)

Gay shift is night time , which is when you usually post.
Unless you mean specifically after midnight: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B3ta#The_gay_shift

Which I hadn't realised was the technical definition.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:58, Reply)

I use it to refer to the day shift on here.
I am aware of the Antipodean reference.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:02, Reply)

Yes, and you are wrong.
It's OK, I know you don't admit such things so I shall just take it as read.

BTW, I'm right in assume you hate Iron Maiden, aren't I?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:06, Reply)

I was wrong yes, and Iron Maiden are indeed ultra bent shit for autistic quenders.
hope this helps.

xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:08, Reply)

Thought so.
Hallowed Be Thy Name came up on random earlier and my second thought, after "damn fine tune this" was "I bet Dozer would fucking hate this"
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:13, Reply)

Do you often think about me when you're lonely?
Do you think about me when you touch yourself at night?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:17, Reply)

Every. god. damn. time.
*cries*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:18, Reply)

I wish I could say the feeling is mutual, but you're no Sian Williams.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:20, Reply)

Thank for the link
I prefer Gay Shift, because it certainly ain't Super Happy Fun Time"
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:05, Reply)

Don't take it as gospel
it's 4-5 years out of date, more of a historical document than a user guide.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:07, Reply)

Like the rest of Wikipedia, then?
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:09, Reply)

possibly.
but more noticeably in this case, as I know the subject matter.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:11, Reply)

You are much more reasonable here
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:14, Reply)

Than where?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:19, Reply)

There *look down*
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:21, Reply)

I did.
now your turn.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:29, Reply)

It's really that hard to piss off battered though, that guy is more touchy than an over familiar uncle.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:21, Reply)

Battered is a self righteous, pompous oaf.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:27, Reply)

He's a nice chap.
A bit touchy on line thought. I told him the same about you, but substituting "poncey" for "touchy"
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:43, Reply)

His uncle bert him though.
You know, down there
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:31, Reply)

Bertered?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:32, Reply)

Fucken autocorrect
I meant to be on B3RT.COM instead of here. No wonder nothing makes sense
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:42, Reply)

well i finished writing a big document
taught a couple of lessons, did a bunch of paperwork, went swimming and had tea.

so that's a no
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:31, Reply)

A normal day for a teacher/lecturer then (sorry, not sure which you do). Too much paperwork, not enough time doing what you actually want to do
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:40, Reply)

that's about right

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:42, Reply)

Shit, isn't it. I work in education too, and the focus is all wrong at the moment
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:48, Reply)

Top Pandering right there lad.
you probably don't need to try so hard with Caves mind...
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:00, Reply)

I'll listen to you
I've heard that you run things here.
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:07, Reply)

Yup, I am Rob's Sockpuppet.
Seriously though, cavey'll take anything with a pulse and a Y chromosome. Bonus points for being (in not particular order):
In to photography
In to LARP
Welsh
Edit: able to remember not to put an E in her name.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:09, Reply)

Than here.
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:14, Reply)

Ahh, clever boy.
Cavey is a mate and would appreciate the humour, just annoyed she'd not here to read it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:20, Reply)

Still working out the reply button
Seems to shoot my answers everywhere. Making them even less relevant
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:26, Reply)

Are you new then?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:26, Reply)

Possibly.
He's still under suspicion of sockery, but seem to dull for this to me likely. In other words, perfect gay shift fodder.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:30, Reply)

You tell me.
You're the serial homosexualist.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:30, Reply)

I just did.
and Gay is not my meme. My meme is actually being all the things you humorously pretend to be.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:35, Reply)

I know not what you mean.
Though you do seem to know a lot about pretending.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:36, Reply)

We know a song about that, don't we kids?
I think you scared the Noob off with your predatory quendering.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:42, Reply)

Predatory quendering?
That's TOTALLY me.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:44, Reply)

Learning the ropes
Right. I understand Bert.
But what is quendering?

Is it a contraction of Quinten and bender + gerund?
(MenaceCoat, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:45, Reply)

'Quender'
Is the Spanish word for bender.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:46, Reply)

Basically yet another lolarious way of calling people gay
we seem to do a lot of this. oddly we have no openly gay members, I wonder why.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:49, Reply)

I turned them straight.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:50, Reply)

I'm still here.
I'm doing some fun online quizzes about Europe.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 22:43, Reply)

It's the bit to the right of us.
unless you're doing politics, in which case, the reverse.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:00, Reply)

It was a bunch of picture type quizzes.
Identify the countries, the flags, and the capital cities.
I was surprised at how many I actually knew.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:04, Reply)

I'd be surprised it I got any right. I could probably find France on a map, probably.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:10, Reply)

I'm going to be all emo here and link to a song that sums up how I feel about CQ, sung by a man who looks like CQ.
youtu.be/PMGvZT67pas
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:46, Reply)

Well, I clicked.
But I just could not listen, too damn depressing, also he looks nothing like me. This guy on the other hand:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=elyQ4ShVw-Y
you'll hate the song though.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:57, Reply)

Alright?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:50, Reply)

Alright bitchtits. Click dat link^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:51, Reply)

Ignore Jocko.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:57, Reply)

Mafftaemabed
Nighty night you quenderinos.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 23:55, Reply)