Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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only platinum?what is he, some kind of gypsy vagrant?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:04,
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I think it's only AMEX that offer "status" cards above platinum, innit?unless you include shysters like MBNA
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:16,
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i don't think you put any thought into this whatsoeverwhere's my questionmark?
take it back and get me a NEW ONE.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:49,
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He didn't even ask you about eating stuff in the middle of the day.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:51,
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I would say standards have slipped,but it's always been this shit.
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thealternativefact, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:52,
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IT'S CLENDERS!(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:52,
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I'm so bored, I've decided to call in here.Now THAT'S bored.
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thealternativefact, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:53,
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Blimey, that is bored.I am currently waiting for the phone to ring. That's about the extent of my day, really.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:54,
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*sighs*Something is going to happen, and soon.
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thealternativefact, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:55,
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Actually I'm waiting for two calls,The other to tell me that the car has been serviced and is ready to be picked up.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:56,
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It certainly is.I'm actually looking forward to the two mile walk back to the garage, in the sunshine. Not so much looking forward to getting the bill.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:00,
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Sorry swipeypoos.What would you rather be, an octopus or a squid?
How many times a day do you need to charge your mobile?
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:52, Reply)
i'd be one of those colossal squidsand swipe you with my swivelling hooks of death
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:53,
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Surely you need a question before you can have an alternative question?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:52,
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That's exactly the sort of narrow-minded in-the-box thinking that's holding this country backFuck off to Germany
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:53, Reply)
I'm fine and we must see each other soon.Especially as I have just been summoned away from here :(
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thealternativefact, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:58,
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Poor clendrix.Taken from us too soon. Wiv da angles, 4eva in r harts.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:02,
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So, back to berks racist boyfriend. She just posted on facebook that somebody cloned her card and stole some money off herand her boyfriends response was: "i can imagine wat sort of person it was but wont say on here in order to b pc"
Now, do we think that he thinks that referring to someone as a thieving cunt is not PC, or do we think that he is being PC by not making a knee jerk assumption about the racial background of the thief?
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:56, Reply)
You seem to be requiring an awful lot of thinking. (
thealternativefact, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:57,
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Ahh, so that's what Chompy was on aboutI think he's being an idiot in assuming.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:58,
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I can imaging what sort of person it was too.i.e. a massively opportunistic thieving cunt with no concern of the impact his or her actions would have on the victim of his or her's crime.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 12:58,
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YOU MASSIVE RACIST!(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:02,
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A few years back, my card was duplicated tooOddly, the guy was also from Slough...
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:33,
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Slough is the phone top-up processing centre for O2so all top-ups are reported as Slough. Happened to me too.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:59,
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the whole fuss is pointlessthe guy bought something from SLOUGH. therefore the only assumption that needs to be made is that kroney is the cloney.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:00,
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This gets my vote purely because it rhymes.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:01,
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it's only funny if he's here to see itKRONEY!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:03,
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He's out spending money on berk's cardwith black people.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:04,
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Nignogs is the PC term, I believe(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:06,
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Not as popular as their fried chicken(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:22,
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Depends on how far south you go(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:28,
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I thought my daughter said that the other daybut she was actually trying to say "ninkynonk" from In The Night Garden. This was shortly after her inadvertent Nazi salute where she was picking her nose and pointing at a bird at the same time. I couldn't push the buggy away fast enough.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:29,
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nazilolsAre you sure the father is not Monty?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:30,
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Fairly sure.B3tan though. Same pot.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:31,
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:32,
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Nah it's 'donnies'as in 'darkoes'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:23,
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sounds like a much better afternoon than minewonder if he wants to swap
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:06,
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I am out of here at 3:30 for a parent's evening(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:07,
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Sounds like more of a parents afternoon. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:09,
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3:30 is evening when you have two kids(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:10,
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I think he is simply saying it wasn't the Police (
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:01,
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Oh lol, I just replied to that.=/
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:01,
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And it was very well said too(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:07,
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I didn't even realise it was him.Isn't he a science type person though? I thought you have to have a good noggin' to be one of those, ovbously what he said was akin to just saying it outright, there was no way in this context it could mean anything else. He's also spelling like a retard too, and this is me saying that.
I think someone needs to sit down with an American History X dvd.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:16,
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He's not a science personhe's a tennis coach. And although he is capable of decent spelling and grammar, and even a halfway decent vocabulary, for reasons unknown he tends not to bother.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:02, Reply)
I'm sorry, I don't mean to comment on your personal life when its nothing to do with me or this place. I just got caught up in replying and commenting.I'm sure he's got plenty of good qualities that shine through, even though I think at first-glance you can do a lot better.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:08,
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I was mugged by 5 guys on a bus onceA friend of my parents said "I bet it was fucking niggers wasn't it?"
I tried to argue that someone race doesn't matter and that black people are not all muggers etc etc but as I could not deny that the muggers were in fact black he took it as a victory. I however still have a lovely scar on my chin where my beard will not grow.
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Peej, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:05,
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Al has a one on his head from his wife's thumb(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:06,
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my friend is a forensic psychologist who works at ashworthwhich i find creepy and fascinating in equal measure. he says there is some sort of very rough bias with background/race and crimes committed. eg: how many of the really sick child abusers/serial killers are anything other than white? v v few.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:10,
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I like how the EDL are founded by a convicted peadofile, hasn't ever once protested against a white person on charge, yet go around claiming everyone against their cause is a peado-supporter.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:18,
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there's a massive bias in racial grouping in many crimesthing is, it's almost certainly nothing to do with race surely, but to do with other areas that happen to align somewhat with race in different areas, i.e. poverty, middle class surburbia etc?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:19,
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A fucking moron I know posted on facebook that they were:"Very disappointed by the 'Official Riots report' - ultimately whilst some social factors were an issue, the majority of those who looted were opportunists and there needs to be some individual accountability."
and then that:
"I just don't think it is fair to point the blame at society 100% - I can't believe that all those who looted did so because their youth club was shut down. A percentage of those who looted were people in full time employment!"
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:30, Reply)
Dad did a lot of work with 'troubled teens', always employeed them, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.But he said closing down of youth facilities was one of the key causes of youth of today. Also, people aren't hungry enough, I know that in fact for myself, no fire in the belly.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:42,
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well, in one way it's not fair to blame society 100%as some looters were "just" cunts. Cunts arguably failed by a collapsing social structure, but still cunts. But your point is very valid.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:12,
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My brother once played cricket next to AshworthThere is a fence from behind which the inmates can actually observe the cricket, he says it made him rather nervous.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:36,
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Why?Does he think they'll nick the ball?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:13,
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Nah, he just found it weird being stared at by them(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:25,
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Afternoon allAlthough Al will shoot me down in seconds, I want to put it on record that I ran 10K on Tuesday. I am most pleased about this
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:05,
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Another 10K on Friday, then Wednesday ready for the Sunday run I think(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:32,
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Don't try and run 10K twice in the run up to the actual 10K run.Try running about 8K on friday, and maybe another 5K on sunday, then do a gentle short (3-44K) run during the week.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Why for so?Genuinely interested
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:37,
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Lactic acid build up maybe?/couldn't run a bath these days.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:41,
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Because:Your muscles only have a finite supply of glycogen (I think, energy basically) and if you deplete it by doing big runs before your main "big run" then when it comes to the main run your muscles won't have as much energy and you will find it hard. That's why all training programs have a "tailing off" period before the main event.
If you aren't fit enough to manage the 10K by now, then it's basically too late, and try to cram in extra training before the event will just make you feel worse.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:43, Reply)
I was fit enough for 10k it would seemI'd just not run it before
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:59,
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So you don't deplete your glycogen stores(although I'm not sure this is a big factor for a 10K).
Edit: if you're doing a 10K and you're already running 10K you'll be grand, just take it easy a few days before.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:44,
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It's mainly because as a big fat unfit northernertrying to run 30K in a week when he's used to only running 15K max will probably give him an injury.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Because running anywhere 10k became redundant with the invention of the wheel.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:06,
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I just bought a ton of stuffon somebody else's card
LOL!
By the way, her boyfriend is definitely not a policeman. Hope I've cleared up any confusion.
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Kroney, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:09,
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Yup! I bought six pairs of the baggiest trousers I could findsix sets of gold teeth and a necklace chain to hang my alarm clock on
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Kroney, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:14,
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Yeaaaaaaaaah booooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyy(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:37,
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afternoon AllI have spent the morning surreptitiously reviewing the company's exit policy, secretly writing my resignation letter and being non-committal about some training the boss wants to send me on.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:19,
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Right, so, I've just been wandering around the lingerie department of Selfridges with my camera in my hand. I've rarely felt like such a massive perv.
NB: my 'camera' is not what i call my dick.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:38,
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What reason did you give the officers?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:38,
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Shops can get arsey if you wander round them with a camera, particularly if it's a SLR.Just tell the security goons to fuck off, politely, they can't actually DO anything, except ask you to leave. One threatened to make a citizen's arrest on me once, and when I asked him how he'd go about it, he walked off, clueless. /Shoplols.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:46, Reply)
Well, to be fair, I was getting photos of the eggs for the Big Egg Hunt, so it's not my fault they put one one in the lingerie department.I did learn soemthing though, they have actual models walking around in the underwear in Selfridges.
I did refrain from taking a photo of them though, sorry.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:58,
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I think I picked up the wrong colour of hair dye. Still got fifteen minutes before I have to wash it out but there are serious concerns I may be a redhead.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:54, Reply)
I used to go out with a "strawberry blonde", ie, a light ginge, and tbh, she was pretty filthy.(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:02, Reply)
You're a man.There is no 'right' colour of hair dye for you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:19,
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Says a bloke who dyes his hair.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:21,
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I do indeed.It takes fucking ages to get that 'patchy grey' look.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:25,
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:26,
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To deface the gift thread i have 3 disgusting questions for you1) If someone had your family hostage and explained they would be harmed unless you took take a large sniff 2mm away from a certain persons arsehole; who would that certain person be?
2) fish hook up the nose, or fish hook in the nipple?
3) Marmite or bovril?
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lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 13:58,
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1) Probably one of the porn stars that does anal, I'd do it just before they were shooting a scene, so they'd be pretty much.2) Nipple, I'd say.
3) Marmite, love the stuff!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:00,
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Re: 1You love the smell of 1000 gallons of stale shitty spunk
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:02,
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As nobody has previously ventured up the poopchute?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:10,
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theres no point reasoning with himhe's so hard up he won't stop talking about boobs and porn stars, poor kid has no idea how creepy he's coming across these days
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:11, Reply)
I'd be astonished if they didn't clean up after each shoot.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:14,
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aye, you'd think they'd at least fire up the spaff-hoover.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:40,
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Come on now, I'm sure Darth does a very good job, at least call him by his name.Then again, I hear Monty is his backup if needs be. Darth gets paid £50 per anus, Monty is just glad of a warm meal.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:45,
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I'm going to go with1) please
2) shut, and
3) up
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:13,
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Oh, so close.The correct answers were
1) Fuck
2) Off, and
3) Die
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:15,
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We're both wrong here.I believe the correct answers are really:
1) Delete your account
2) Kill yourself
3) You fucking nonce
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:18,
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That's a weird version of Cluedo you're playing...(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:15,
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I'm impressed, OffTopicA thread with no discernable point or purpose and you've eked out over 100 replies' worth of nonsense and bollocks.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:23, Reply)
What a horribly defeatist attitudeAre you suggesting that Western Civilisation wouldn't be better off without Monty's bizarre insistence on sharing his appalling music taste? Without Chompy's hilarious grammar? Without Quentin's... Quentin-ness?
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:34, Reply)
I prefer giving to takingI've got so good at it that no-one needs to wake up
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:41, Reply)
I like it when people say "men's penises", as if a girl would have one.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:53,
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man, you've not lived.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:55,
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still upsets me, that.Because, let's be honest, right up until the point you saw that you'd have crawled on your hands and knees over a mile of broken glass just to wank on her shadow.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:08,
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You are a colossal sexual pervertI can cope with this knowledge, but being a colossal sexual pervert with dubious taste in women is crossing the line.
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:11, Reply)
It's spelled 'appealing', you fool.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:40,
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Chompy's appealing grammar?No, that doesn't seem right.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:44,
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She is a lovely old lady(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:46,
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Her tea tastes of rophypnoland I woke up with a pair of false teeth clamped around my cock
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:47, Reply)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:57,
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I gave love a bad name.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:47,
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nope, but maybe as bad as Colin(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:55,
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So in truthyou gave love a dull but but generally inoffensive name - a name, which, were it a town, might be somewhere like Watford.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:57,
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I hate WatfordIt's basically London, but it thinks it's its own town, with it's stupid one way system and a shopping centre call the "Harlequin Centre" Harlequins don't even fucking play in Watford, it's where Saracens have their home ground!
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 14:59, Reply)
It is an absolute shit pit of a place. Almost makes Slough look somewhere ok to live. Almost. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:01,
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Apart from all the black, credit card thieves there.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:02,
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I doubt there is anyone living there with the income level to qualify for a black credit card. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:03,
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Very efficient female credit card theives, though.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:05,
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It is a fucking dump.I once spent half an hour in the Homebase car park in Watford waiting for a lift off Lusty's brother.
It was like the Midwich Cuckoos only instead of creepy children, it was faceless dullards in Burton shirts - basically a whole town of Quentins and Dawns unconsciously going about their drone-like tedious existences, their blank faces giving no sign of anything remotely resembling intelligence of any kind. Plus I bet they're all swingers.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:02,
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Hundreds.Gangs of plump, orange harpies in pink cowboy hats stalk their pubs and clubs, looking for all the world like The Warriors - were it set in Blackpool rather than New York.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:04,
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Did they ask you to turn them into a popsicle?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:05,
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Then of course there were also all the blokes dressed up in white military outfits(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:11,
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It looks like Pearl Harbour on a Satuday nightand the stench of Blue Stratos is enough to kill cattle.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:15,
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what, puree them and put them in the freezer?I can only see that being a pretty niche request, I'll be honest.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:10,
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yes, I know. *sigh*
*reflects on a lifetime wasted on people missing points*
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:01,
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I guessed as much, I just wanted to paste that link(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 16:02,
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You are aware that the word harlequin is not exclusively associated with rugby, right?They might possibly not have thought exclusively about local sports teams when naming the place. Just saying, like.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:14,
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Then have a terrible cigarette.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:14,
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If you really tried you could make that picture a bit larger I'm sure(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:21,
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Insults aside, I think a few people would be happier if you could either remove that picture or make it considerably smaller.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:27,
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Good manLarge images are quite unpopular on this mainly text-based site used by people skiving off at work.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:31,
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fair enoughhad pasted a link a hadn't realised it would come out so big.
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lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:34,
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Not until they've deleted their account.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:43,
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This is the accepted protocol.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:45,
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the first reply from the OP here made me doa lolwww.theanswerbank.co.uk/Animals-and-Nature/Question298087.html
(, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:42, Reply)
Fuck, wrong account.I can't believe I was stupid enough to out myself as Quinten like that.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:50,
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