Oh for heavens sake people
Last dressdown friday an email reminder was sent round reiterating that the dressdown policy excluded shorts and sandals for men. Cue the guy who'd come in sandals and shorts having to spend the rest of the day knowing everyone was smirking at him.

When did you last embarass yourself? How about having an official announcement made about you, whether or not it mentioned you by name?

Alt: How would you best serve as a warning to others?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:20, 57 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

what kind of cunt wears sandles anyway?
The shorts thing is well sexist though.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:22, Reply)

This^
Twice
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:23, Reply)

I would tell them to fuck right off, if they've got a problem with your dress, send an individual email to you,
not a group email.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:24, Reply)

Also This^
Pussies
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:25, Reply)

It did seem a bit passive-aggressive

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:28, Reply)

I'd carry on wearing the shorts and sandles out of spite

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:36, Reply)

+ONLY

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:37, Reply)

and a smile

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:41, Reply)

I have an amazingly common name so I hear it often
The first person I spoke to at one of our customers the day I joined here had my name. Made for an odd conversation

Me: "Hello, can I speak to (sportscow's real name) please?"
Them: "Can I ask who is calling?"
Me: "(sportscow's real name)"
Them: "Errrrr...... OK"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:25, Reply)

In a previous job
There was a guy in an other team called Mike Cockhead. Pronounced 'Cock-Head'. Being the clever chap that I am, I got around it by phoning their office and saying 'Can I speak to Mike please?'

'Which Mike do you want? There are two here.'
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:35, Reply)

I do hope this is true
There is a Mike Cox here

"Can I speak to Mike Cox?"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:37, Reply)

Oh, it's true
I admired the fact that it didn't bother him. I probably would've changed it if it were my name.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:39, Reply)

As someone who is good friend with a Paul Daniels, I guess they have heard it all before

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:40, Reply)

Oh absolutely
I know a pharmacist who has a regular customer called Mr Bastard. Same thing, he's heard it all before.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:41, Reply)

I want to join in this
as I know a few students with names that make me snigger, but I can't really go around saying them online :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:45, Reply)

Go on, none of them are gonna be reading it.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:49, Reply)

nah
not worth the potential problems if they find it googling their name or something.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:52, Reply)

You fibber, his name wasn't Cockhead was it. It was Cuntwipe

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:38, Reply)

I know him
Has a brother called Sweaty?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Pronounced "Cue-Nuh-Tweepay"

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:40, Reply)

one place I temped wouldn't allow men to wear shorts
we asked why, they said "Well there were these guys who came in wearing shorts and went out at lunchtime and got drunk..."

OK, we said, so how did that lead to not being allowed to wear shorts?

"well, they were wearing shorts"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:37, Reply)

Excellent logic

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:38, Reply)

ha ha ha

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Brilliant
And one of them had an iPhone on him....NO MORE iPHONES!!!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:41, Reply)

I bet they were black

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:43, Reply)

Monty isn't here, so there's no point trying to impress him.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:45, Reply)

Oh MFOTFABL

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:49, Reply)

I give up

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:51, Reply)

Moved Foot On The Floor A Bit Laughing.
I'm going to see Monty this weekend. How shall I mock him?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:52, Reply)

If you're eating put a 12% tip then go to the toilet
check the tip afterwards.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:55, Reply)

Shall I offer to buy him a drink
but then only get him a half "so he doesn't feel bad about only being able to afford a small drink for me"
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:00, Reply)

Buy shit tons of drinks on a Tab
and just say "so we'll just split it yeah?"
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:01, Reply)

insist on sharinga cab to an overpriced bar miles away

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:03, Reply)

sharinga cabs are the most expensive you fool!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:08, Reply)

the muslamics won't be happy until all our cabs are sharinga

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:11, Reply)

that girl witht he pony facebook photos
had a massive ding-dong the other day cos nicky minaj had some muslamic words in a song

bitch be crazy
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:18, Reply)

All bitches are trippin'

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:22, Reply)

for looking like the bastard offspring of Eric Idle and a spaniel

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:55, Reply)

i'm filling his quota

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:51, Reply)

At our primary school they wouldn't let the boys wear bermuda shorts or the girsl wear cycling shorts (i don't know why the girls wanted to wear cyclng shorts, they just did)
and the logic was that some old men have perved on some girls wearing cycling shorts.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:44, Reply)

*heads for this weeks QOTW*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:48, Reply)

'some old men'
means male teachers were discussing it in the staff room
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:59, Reply)

fuck off noncepricks

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:58, Reply)

Quinton
www.b3ta.com/questions/wankbank/post1712072

This post is fucking brilliant.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Are you going to be playing guild wars 2 Quint?
I can let you know the server I'm playing on and we can explore Tamriel together.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 16:59, Reply)

the fuck?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:00, Reply)

New massively multiplayer RPG it's out this weekend.
It's going to be a World of Warcraft beater.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:00, Reply)

\o/

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:01, Reply)

Office dress-down policies are almost exclusively introduced by cunts.
We were given a list of what could and couldn't be worn in the office. Combat trousers were out, for example. The following week our boss (the aforementioned cunt) appeared to be wearing something not unlike combats. I enquired as to whether they were combats.

"No Reverend, they're dockers, obviously!"

I asked him to explain the difference. Combats apparently have pockets on the thighs. Well fuck me. Anyway, what do you think he was wearing the following week? You really couldn't make it up.

I work from home now so I couldn't give a fuck now, but it used to wind me up something rotten.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:01, Reply)

cool trousers bro

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:03, Reply)

What are dockers?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:03, Reply)

come down the docks with me, i'll show you

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:04, Reply)

The people The Rev's mum sucks off for a living

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:04, Reply)

Hey, you bent spastic
She doesn't just limit herself to people.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:14, Reply)

they are actually a brand of what is known as 'cargo' pants
plain, smart, beige work trousers
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:07, Reply)

last week, on the phone to a large, fairly important booking for the upstairs bar,
They'd asked for all sorts of food and champagne and it was going to be a big money night, end of the conversation I say "anything else we can do for you sir?" Small pause...other end of the line "its madam actually"...I go bright red, and stammer something incoherent, apologise, slip of the tongue blah blah, day goodbye, hang up. Feel like twat.

I don't know how I'd serve as a warning.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:04, Reply)

don't call women sir?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 17:06, Reply)