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This is a question Kids say the shittiest things

Smudge the Demon asks: Have your kids - or anyone else's - come out with something that provoked extreme laughter, embarrassment, fear or outrage? Tell us your little darlings' memorable sayings. It's like Take a Break's letters page, only with more swearing

(, Thu 23 May 2013, 15:28)
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Bonfire
I went to a firework party organised by my employer. The local Boy scouts had built us a guy to put on the bonfire. One of the company directors was there with his two children. They had the honour of lighting the fire.

I remember standing there watching these two angelic girls being carried, one on either hip of their loving father. He handed each one of his darling children a long (actually, it was fucking massive) matchstick which they poked delightfully into the base of the bonfire.

I recall the warm fuzzy orange glow on their faces as the flames leapt higher and higher, the dry wood and tinder catching alight with ease. I recall their faces screwing up and the words "BURN HIM! BURN HIS FACE" echoing around as the flames licked the feet of the guy.

I still hear them in my nightmares.
(, Fri 24 May 2013, 12:18, 1 reply)
I hope they were identical twins
Dressed identically and staring at you with serious, unblinking eyes.

Sleep tight!
(, Wed 29 May 2013, 11:05, closed)

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Pages: Popular, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1