impress your neighbours
by buying the most expensive BMW that you can get, then washing it luxuriantly every weekend with car shampoos and waxes that had to be specially flown in from a wax plantation in Uberschlongen Votdafuckinell which are only harvested by moonlight, carefully applying said car shampoo/wax at a time when you can be assured maximum attention from the other people who live in your cul-de-sac and just to make sure, playing your in-car stereo so loud it becomes an out-car stereo. Enhance the effect by working the fact you have a new BMW into every conversation, no matter how tenuous the link e.g. 'I was considering giving money to charity the other week but then MY NEW BMW NEEDED A FENG SHUEI BLESSING so I didn't give to Foreign Aid' or 'I have discovered this totally revolutionary yeast with which to make your own bread in half the time WHICH I PICKED UP IN MY NEW BEEMER'.

For maximum effect, wait until the other person in the conversation performs a Wrong by not asking you for further information about Your New BMW and also probably bat aside the irritation you feel for having it pointed out that the 118d is the cheapest new BMW that anyone could buy and in effect they are proudly telling people that they are not in the same salary grade as those who buy M-sport models. That's like saying 'Still had sex!' when it is pointed out that they boffed Kerry Katona, i.e. it is not something to be celebrated.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 12 Mar 2012, 1:31, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I smell jealousy!

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 18:39, Reply)

I thought Audi Twats
Were the new BMW cunts?
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:38, Reply)