You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search

imgur has Thigh High Thursday and Red Head Monday
and lots of subreddits have daily threads (no stupid questions, what's it worth, free requests etc).

What theme would you give b33t3r#chat on a particular day of the week?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 10:50, Reply)
"Put it out of its misery" Monday.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 10:56, Reply)
lonely bedsit wank wednesday

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:01, Reply)
suicide saturday

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:01, Reply)
suicide PACT coffee

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:35, Reply)
fuck off friday

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:01, Reply)
bored of this now tuesday

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:02, Reply)
not sure sundays

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:04, Reply)
switch hitler sundays

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:05, Reply)
I had to read this three times before realising it didn't say hitler

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:12, Reply)
eh?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:42, Reply)
shit thread tuesday, apparently

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:04, Reply)
I just did a shit that looked like sticky toffee pudding

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:10, Reply)
I've got one of those hangovers where I feel fine but keep doing difficult poos.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 13:16, Reply)
I ate an out-of-date bag of pontefract cakes that I found behind the dishwasher salt

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 13:27, Reply)
RIP occasional dingbat Wednesdays

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:10, Reply)
it's your fault we no longer have it, you prick


well, that and the fact that mano ran out of source material
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:12, Reply)
no point trying to restrict that to just one day

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:10, Reply)
The contagion spreads

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:13, Reply)
shit thread last 15 years?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:42, Reply)
needs more ascii porn

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:12, Reply)
As if any of us had enough to say to keep a single thread going for an entire day.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:14, Reply)
Kitchen lino chat

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 11:56, Reply)
Yeah, let's talk about boilers and mortgages and sheds and the school run
and take ownership of our status as complete middle-aged saddos.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:04, Reply)
I've put the heating on, this week, and am making full use of the tumble dryer.
Discuss.

Where's Two Hats when we need him?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:24, Reply)
rob had two hats killed
part of a deep state operation
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:28, Reply)
Nothing , it's shit enough

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:05, Reply)
Talk Like A Pirate Day doesn't even register.
Where's our joie de vivre?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:25, Reply)
I think we drank it last christmas when the gin ran out

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:26, Reply)
Horror film fridays

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:40, Reply)
We could certainly have a Horror Film Friday.
And an Indie Film Wednesday. We might run out of titles after a fortnight or so though.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:49, Reply)
With the indie films, maybe
But there are countless cheesy horror films
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 13:04, Reply)
I don't want cheesy ones, though.
I want good ones.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 13:17, Reply)
Some of them are absolute corkers
Like the boneyard
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 13:27, Reply)
I only watch film noir

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 13:13, Reply)
lacist

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 13:19, Reply)

i.imgur.com/lKrqeQ4.gif
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 13:14, Reply)
Pfff

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 13:27, Reply)
Read your meters first Wednesday of the month
(you'd need to rotate it with some other themes though, obviously)
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:45, Reply)
self-immolation Wednesday

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 12:46, Reply)
Bumhole Wednesday

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 13:09, Reply)
Morning

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 6:36, Reply)

morning
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 6:44, Reply)
morning will
lonely?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 6:53, Reply)
Nah
I'm just trying to get here first every day. It's a silly game I play to make having to wake up more bare able.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 6:59, Reply)
You know Grrrmachine's just going to threadstomp you as soon as he arrives, right?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 7:34, Reply)
Thats half the fun

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 7:40, Reply)
You seem to be made to suffer

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 7:44, Reply)
you suffer
but why?
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:01, Reply)
lol but

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:13, Reply)
Please try to grow up at some point. You act like stupid kids.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:31, Reply)
lol skids

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:50, Reply)
I don't see what's so about it

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 7:35, Reply)
The morning thread is dead,
long live the morning thread.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 7:36, Reply)
I'm letting will have this one
so that we can all see what a pathetic failure he is when it comes to morning threads
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 7:48, Reply)
It will splutter out in about 10 minutes

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 7:55, Reply)
novocaine for the thread then

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 7:57, Reply)
I've got caffeine. Will that do?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:13, Reply)
I don't think anything will save us
from the crushing disappointment of a willennium morning
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:06, Reply)
better give him something, so he don't die

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:15, Reply)
a post from me is the kiss of thread death

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:02, Reply)
you think far too much of yourself

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:46, Reply)
He shud b b&

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:48, Reply)
far too much trouble for a little mosquito like bent dozer

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:59, Reply)
This is funny because it's coming from you.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:14, Reply)

giftskidokaan.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/1498383040224-product.jpeg
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:21, Reply)
And I will always love you
I will always love you
You
My darling, you


Will.
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:18, Reply)
+ies

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:24, Reply)
^wants to dance with somebody

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:47, Reply)
Hi will

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:37, Reply)
and other boarder's

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:37, Reply)
and boardettes

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:40, Reply)
hi rich

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:48, Reply)
U gud lol

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:06, Reply)
That was fun!!!
Just had the back wheel of the bicycle lock up when the mudguard jammed it. Stayed upright but ended up all over the place. Wheeeee!!!
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:39, Reply)
Have you tried taking less muddy routes?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:46, Reply)
I thought we all knew gari favoured the dirt track

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:48, Reply)
you two make a hell of a comedy double act

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:32, Reply)
Ironically, I'm the straight man in this setup.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:35, Reply)
This was on the Lewisham Way!

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:59, Reply)
Ah...you're probably up to your knees in dead leaves at the moment, then.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:07, Reply)
Big Will the high roller
Strolling through with an entoruage
Hard to camaflouge when you livin' this large
I be smooth like debarge with a five car garage
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:47, Reply)
(sic)

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:47, Reply)
what sort of prick rhymes garage with large?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:49, Reply)
^ rhymes 'garage' with 'fridge' like a pleb

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:54, Reply)
shut your stupid frog mouth

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:54, Reply)
Go on, say 'scone'.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:57, Reply)
scone

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:59, Reply)
Ha! I knew it.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:06, Reply)
one of the greatest rappers of our generation
up there with Pitbull
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:54, Reply)
Mr. Worldwide

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:54, Reply)
305

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:54, Reply)
Morning
I am currently flat on my back in bloody agony
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:48, Reply)
yet still able to post
top /chat commitment
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:49, Reply)
Not much else to do until the pills kick in

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 8:59, Reply)

p w
+ie
+my back doors
(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:21, Reply)
You have multiple back doors, do you?

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:24, Reply)
they're barn doors

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:28, Reply)
Peter North is not a considerate lover.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:18, Reply)
I thought he went to great lengths to please.

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:32, Reply)
lol, penis

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:42, Reply)
Sup nigga

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 9:36, Reply)
LOL BLANKED

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 10:18, Reply)
soz for the caps

(, Tue 25 Sep 2018, 10:18, Reply)
Evening

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:59, Reply)
Hi, Will.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:00, Reply)
I had to work and missed my whole candle day

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:10, Reply)
It's just a fake holiday cooked up by Rob in conjunction with Clinton Cards.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 22:54, Reply)
Are you bookending /talk with your threads today?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:15, Reply)
Yep
Candleday special
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:57, Reply)
Alright will. Nice candles

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:20, Reply)
Thanks

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:58, Reply)
light it up, Will

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:28, Reply)
Have you seen his party trick too?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:45, Reply)

🍆💧😆
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:49, Reply)
T3h w1lz0rz

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:33, Reply)
Yo

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:35, Reply)

🎂
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:39, Reply)
14 years.
You must be at least 50.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:44, Reply)
Not quite

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 19:57, Reply)
'Lo

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 20:16, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 20:26, Reply)
Bit hit and miss, this replying
hardly grrrmornine standard
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 21:11, Reply)
hello new person

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 22:42, Reply)
Evening oldster

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 21:18, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 21:30, Reply)
big willy style

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 23:28, Reply)
hi

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 15:47, Reply)
Mm-hmm.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 15:55, Reply)

hi froggie went a-courting and he did ride
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 15:59, Reply)
Hi tangledupinblue poster from coventry!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:00, Reply)
hi richard mcbeef off of the internet from naddingham!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:14, Reply)
Having a good day, Aardvark poster?
I'm fucking not, and to cap it all, I have to go to Suffolk and back tomorrow, and when I get home again I have to singlehandedly move about 3k records.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:00, Reply)
I bet no-one makes Mike Lindup go to Suffolk

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:01, Reply)
I bet they do
I bet he has family there and has to go visit occasionally
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:02, Reply)
no way, he wouldn't be seen dead in Suffolk m8

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:03, Reply)
m8, he said Aldeburgh was reem and said Woodbridge was mint

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:06, Reply)
you're heading into a legal minefield here, just watch what you say ok

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:07, Reply)
Ok, technically he said Aldeburgh was the 'shit' and Woodbridge 'up-itself'

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:08, Reply)
more like it

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:12, Reply)
in my last skype sesh he told me that the people of Saxmundham were, and I quote, 'the biggest bunch of cunts on the fucking planet'

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:14, Reply)
he did refer to saxmundham as a the cornhole of the east
using slang he had picked up while on tour in the USA I might add
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:17, Reply)
that's Mike all over -he's such a cultural magpie!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:21, Reply)
Not bad, for a Monday.
Sorry to hear you have to go to Suffolk. No-one should have to suffer that.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:18, Reply)
it's all just so undignified

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:32, Reply)
Could be worse
Could be Norfolk
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:51, Reply)
rich

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:02, Reply)
how do

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:03, Reply)
a woman drilled a hole in my teeth
I didn't like it
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:14, Reply)
I've only ever had one filling, not bad for 45 huh

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:16, Reply)
Mine are ruined by years of drugs and booze and smoking, if I wasn't completely phobic I'd get implants
Breast ones that is
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:22, Reply)
cor!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:23, Reply)
Nobody would be looking at my manky teeth then eh

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:26, Reply)
I'd strip all mine out for implants if I had the cash
and however many months it takes to recover
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:25, Reply)
I've heard they require more dentist visits that reall teeth, that somewhat puts me off

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:28, Reply)
not sure how I've got away with it tbh

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:27, Reply)
Mine were shit as a kid, I was missing 4 adult teeth when my milk one's fell out , just never had them

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:30, Reply)
bet you're good at whistling though

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:32, Reply)
Calm down miss bacall

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:35, Reply)
I clench my teeth in my sleep
That's the only thing that knackers my teeth, the front ones are perfect
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:47, Reply)
Did she spend the whole time saying
"Is it safe?"
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:17, Reply)
Good film, that one.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:56, Reply)
Hello beefingtons

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:19, Reply)
hullo

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:21, Reply)
My boss emailed me asking why I was in work today
on a day I'd booked as annual leave.

Er. Good question.

Can I take tomorrow off instead?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:43, Reply)
yes, no problem

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 17:00, Reply)
Thanks

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 17:01, Reply)
Allô !

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:56, Reply)
yo man

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 17:00, Reply)
alright richard mcbeef

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:58, Reply)
bent

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 17:01, Reply)
last Friday I heard a song by your namesake for the first time. It featured 'David Bowie'.
It was fucking terrible.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 17:07, Reply)
y so upset m8?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 17:15, Reply)
because of you and everything you hold dear

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 17:17, Reply)
abloobloobloo

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 17:18, Reply)
ziggy (nothing can stop me now)

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:03, Reply)
starman, inc

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:16, Reply)
Short but sweet

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:04, Reply)
I forgot to pay my ex this month it appears, she hasn't said anything, I'm bemused by this

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:26, Reply)
Before the forum feminazis attack me I've paid it in now, ffs u lot

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:38, Reply)
I was going to launch at you

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:44, Reply)
I'll bet, it was my ejaculation that sired these children like some sort of rapist spunk enforcer

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:48, Reply)
+ping pong balls

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:48, Reply)
I hope you paid the interest on it too

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:55, Reply)
Hi

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:50, Reply)
Oh bloody bollocks
I organised a training workshop for Thursday and let anyone register for it. Just looked at the list, the marketing director's put her name down.

What's got you a bit edgy at the moment.

(just copy and paste, McBeef)
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:52, Reply)
McBeef

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:54, Reply)
vg

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:20, Reply)
I'm supposed to train the guy from the new company who stole my job
don't really see what benefit there is for me in doing this
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:59, Reply)
Depends on what you choose to teach him.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:04, Reply)
Opportunity for a nice bit of bridge burning/ industry blacklisting

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:04, Reply)
we're all independent contractors, it's not like there's any loyalty here

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:24, Reply)
Teach him how much outside consultants do.
then give him your card.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:21, Reply)
to fuck him, and by extension your employer

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 16:27, Reply)
piss in him

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 18:36, Reply)
what you training?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:01, Reply)
Something to do with flebpages and marketing I recon
was hoping to wing it
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:21, Reply)
I'll do it

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:22, Reply)
The owner's come in on my day off to give everyone "a talk", perhaps I'll go back to find a p45 on my desk

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:06, Reply)
when my brother folded his company he didn't sleep for a month afterwards
he still has guilt about laying people off
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:09, Reply)
It must be a horrible thing to have to do
plus it makes you look shit because you couldn't run the place in a profitable way
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:11, Reply)
it was a digital agency
those things fall and rise nearly every week. I think he was young and naive at the time, but his current business is doing very well. The cunt.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:14, Reply)
Lessons learned from the first attempt, then

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:20, Reply)
at the expense of fellow humans
what a wanker, eh?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:22, Reply)
I hope his business gets nationalised under the corbyn regime

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:01, Reply)
No wonder companies bring in people from outside with the sole duty of firing people.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:41, Reply)
My last redundancy they sent in some kid from the insolvency team to explain everything to us
Turns out he didn't have a clue and couldn't answer any of our questions, still at least it kept us all distracted while the senior managers did a vanishing act
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:13, Reply)

l g
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:16, Reply)
Meh, blah.
At some point over the past few months I fell off the gym wagon and have allowed myself to turn into a fat knacker over the summer. None of my non-tracksuit trousers fit any more and I feel knackered and rubbish all the time. I wish I could just snap my fingers and be fit again but I know it's going to take months.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:26, Reply)
discipline, hard work and love will get you there

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:27, Reply)
Masturbation is a good calorie burner

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:29, Reply)
I'm burning calories as I type this

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:30, Reply)
That's just about the only thing that's prevented me getting even fatter.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:34, Reply)
Are you only masturbating yourself?
because if so there's a limit to the number of calories you can burn.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:00, Reply)
This is true, but other people's willingness to let you masturbate them tends to be inversely proportionate to your own fat knackerdom.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:05, Reply)
Life is cruel

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:37, Reply)
As a mate of my dad's used to say, life's a bitch and then you die.
I've just done this.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:43, Reply)
RIP your arm bones

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:48, Reply)
It's great for giving you impact-resistant Popeye forearms.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:53, Reply)
Is "Big Beautiful Men" not a thing too?
Yet more sexism from the heterocisarchy
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:44, Reply)
There is apparently a movement among women who claim to prefer the 'dad bod' over a slim and muscular man.
Something I read online last week struck me as apt: "80% of women are into men with a six-pack. 80% of men with a six-pack are not into women."
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:54, Reply)
It probably does something to you, spending all your free time looking at pictures and videos of muscular men and doing comparisons, and trying to improve your appearance

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:08, Reply)
People go on about bikini models and so on having a negative effect on women's self-esteem
but men's health and fitness mags have just as much to answer for. I've never seen anyone on the cover of a men's fitness magazine whose body was anything other than absolutely perfect.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:18, Reply)
This one always seemed weird
www.menshealth.co.uk/building-muscle/cover-model/the-2011-celebrity-six-pack-challenge
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:20, Reply)
hahahaha fucking hell!
Andi Peters with muscles is a sure sign we've fallen through a gateway into an alternative universe.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:23, Reply)
He'd better think twice before ramming his fist into a duck's arse now
probably go straight through and part the mohican
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:26, Reply)
Edd The Duck is hench, these days, too.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:36, Reply)
They call him Stedd the Duck now.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:44, Reply)
Also, all the blood that's going into your cosmetic muscles means less left over for your penus
just saying
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:10, Reply)
That's why I don't like conventional weights routines.
They give you a beach body, sure, but you get relatively little in terms of functional strength out of them compared with a kettlebell HIIT workout (for example).
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:19, Reply)
a good old fashioned speed habit will accelerate his weight loss with no adverse side effects!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:30, Reply)
Having good teeth and a decent complexion is overrated anyway.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:40, Reply)
stomach linings are for looser's

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:17, Reply)
amphetamine psychosis adds that much needed edge when going to the shops

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:43, Reply)
If it's good enough for the Nazis, it's good enough for me
like Fanta.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 14:04, Reply)
lol fatty

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:01, Reply)
u kno it

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:05, Reply)
I'm edging as I type this

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:00, Reply)
+fl

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:06, Reply)
The heating

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:17, Reply)
Too high, too low
or just plain unpredictable?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:20, Reply)
Not switching on at all

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 14:25, Reply)
brexit

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:24, Reply)
Oh, that was soo 2016
nobody cares about that any more.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:21, Reply)


4.
e$$$$ec.
$$$$$$$$$e zdP**
' 4$ ^"*$$$ed$$$$$.
- ^$ " "*$$$$E
F b . ^**r^ $$$$$$$F
. .F .dL *$L .d$$$$$$.
" 4F ^ " $$$$$$$$3$
4. d. P$$$$$$$.$
4F 4$L% z$$$$$$$$$$$
4" d$$c %. 4$$$$$$$FFb$$
4$ 4$$$ " ^$$$$$$$FFL"
$ 3$$$r " $$$$$$$$*"
$ 4$$ -. .$$$$$$$$ $
$ e$$ - $$$$$$$$3$.$
F . .$$% z$$$$$$$$$$dP$
d $$$ 4*$$$$$3$$$$$$F$d
.$ ze$F -%^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ J$$$" ^bd$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P$
= %d$$$ -.e **$$$$$$$$$$$$$*$$
4)% $$$$$$$$ .^.^ ..ze$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
*@=L *$$$$$$$$$$PP * *$$$$$$.$$$$$$$$$
.$ ""3$$$$P"% " -"$$$$$$$$$P
dP* *$*" " '$$$$$J$$$
.eL^ .$$d." 3$$$$F$$$
4$ z$$$F" $$$$$.$$
$ $$$$$" ^$$$$$^$$
F d$$$= d$$$$4$$
b J$$% . d$$$$$*$$
$E. 4$$$c d$*$- .e$. '$$$$%dJ$
$$. d$$$ ^*P* F 3F d$$$.*$$
$P $$$e- J$ ^$. *"*$$E$$$
$$- z$$$C. z$$- d$$. $$$$$$$
4$F '$$$$$$l .$$$$*E$$$"$ "4$deJ$$
4$F e$$$ "$$$$e\ ee$$P"" z$$P ^b - $$$$$$
4$$ $$$" """""""" ^*$P 3$ % *$$$$
4$$$$$$. .J$$$F %4 *$$%$
4$$$$$$F *$$$F .^) *Fd$
$$$$$$$ $$$$ -$$$
$$$$$$$$ J$$$ L $*$
3$$$$$$$$ $$$F ' '$
^$$$$$$$$$ J$$$ % F
$CHAT$$$$$c ^$$$$ 4 4


(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 13:58, Reply)
Blimey, just what this bent thread needed

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 14:00, Reply)
Cor, look at the .d$*$_^*p*s on that, eh lads

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 14:02, Reply)
thinking about quitting my job and going contracting instead
but might get redundancy if i wait until next year
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 14:01, Reply)
Why don't you persuade a colleague to diddle you
then you can get compensation for being abused and leave any time you want? Win/Win.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 14:05, Reply)
whatever you decide
you'll have full support of this forum
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 14:15, Reply)
contractors rarely get paid time off
Although I've just heard that another contracting firm pays 15% more than my current one, so I might switch
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 14:25, Reply)
morning

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:16, Reply)
argh

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:21, Reply)
BERT, WHERE'S MY BREAKFAST?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:24, Reply)
In a minute Ernie

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:26, Reply)
hiya

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:59, Reply)
Morning TD

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:12, Reply)
you alright gari mate?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:21, Reply)
I'm good, ta

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:29, Reply)
long time no see

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:13, Reply)
yeah it's good to see this place still going strong

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:24, Reply)
There's an eastern european man who works in aldi who says that to me every time I see him.
Which is a minimum of three times a week.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:24, Reply)
that's me, mate

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:25, Reply)
long time no see, mate

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:32, Reply)
it's funny because I see you regularly

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:35, Reply)
in Eastern Europe, "time" means "penis"

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:38, Reply)
So penis is money?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:41, Reply)
*taps fingers on forearm*
got the time?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:44, Reply)
Big hand or little hand?
sorry - I'm only winding you up.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:55, Reply)
The Penis Traveller's Wife

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 12:38, Reply)
penis heals all wounds

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:51, Reply)
^penis man of the year

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:54, Reply)
Oh my god, he's on the cover of Penis Magazine!!!!

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:29, Reply)
penis enjoyed wasting is not wasted penis

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:52, Reply)
If you're lost you can look, and you will find me
penis after penis
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:55, Reply)
If I could turn back penis
I'd give it all to you
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:55, Reply)
Penis Cop

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:03, Reply)
Penis Bandits

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:41, Reply)
Penis Trax

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:46, Reply)
All those moments will be lost in penis
like tears in rain. Time to die
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:27, Reply)
*penis to die

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:29, Reply)
Penis is the fire in which we burn.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:53, Reply)
A Wrinkle In Penis

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:34, Reply)
I've... had...
the penis of my life
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:42, Reply)
Ford Penislord

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:44, Reply)
Make Mine A 69

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:48, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:23, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:25, Reply)
hey

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:25, Reply)
howdy pal

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:48, Reply)
mårning

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:01, Reply)
bit pretentious m8

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:13, Reply)
Crisp autumn morning here

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:13, Reply)
damp and soggy here

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:13, Reply)
Deep pan, crisp and even

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:14, Reply)
Someone's has his early morning poo

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:19, Reply)
Has you has or has you hasn't my baby?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:20, Reply)
Does it have to be?

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:15, Reply)
if Grrrmachine says so, it must be

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:17, Reply)
Bloody prophetic Grrrmachine.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 11:11, Reply)
Morning comes as standard on all models

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:21, Reply)
Jesus fucking christ
I am completely fucking knackered. Spent all day yesterday anticipating a visit from the police, got in first and called 101 in the morning warning them that my nutty ex was threatening to report me for kidnapping. Got the reference number and waited. 5:30pm came and went so at 9 got the kid to bed and relaxed. 5mins later got a text demanding that I get the kid out of bed, up and dressed as she was coming to collect her. More threats of police when I refused, all manner of drama. Consequently I have barely slept and am utterly exhausted.

tl;dr morning
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:22, Reply)
you're doing the right thing m8
my kid slept in bed with me last night because we've both got colds and she's too small to blow her own nose.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:27, Reply)
How does that work, anyway?
If she had called the police on you and they'd turned up, would you have given them the reference number to make them go away? Or would they just not have turned up in the first place?
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:28, Reply)
according to my sister (a chief inspector) they would turn up to verify the facts and then leave
the prospect of having a mental case hammering at the door, the police turning up etc was incredibly stressful. My wife and I both sent regrettable messages as a result. The whole thing is not in any way cool
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:32, Reply)
No, it sounds mightily crap alright.
Makes my ex seem positively sane by comparison, since she actually stopped when she was warned off by the police.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:41, Reply)
I must have slept a bit it doesn't feel like it
I have a feeling of dread that the events of yesterday will have future repercussions
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:10, Reply)
I know it sounds ridiculous
but write a letter to her outlining exactly what happened when. Send it to her and then that becomes established truth. If she wants to take things further she'll have to prove you wrong because you have made a written and recorded account of events.

Take half an hour, put it in order and make it official.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:14, Reply)
Did that this morning actually

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:47, Reply)
Hope you feel a bit better now

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:55, Reply)
not really tbh

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:05, Reply)
oh

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:29, Reply)
You've documented your side of events; that's the most important thing at this stage.
Also, "repercussions" suggests there's some sort of cause and consequence situation going on, whereas it seems to me that it's more a question of just living your life and waiting for the pot of crazy to bubble over again.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:18, Reply)
look the judge has ruled that as mother she gets full custody, pls stop your kidnapping

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:30, Reply)
I can't, it's addictive

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:49, Reply)

partridge.cloud/grabs/S01E03/gif/9PJCz7EXjDU9.gif
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:36, Reply)
nice one

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:24, Reply)
darn tootin'

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:40, Reply)
guten morgen

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:53, Reply)
we're guten-free here

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:55, Reply)
I don't care how many letters they sent

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 8:59, Reply)
I'll have an E please Bob

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:01, Reply)
"send it" is some new American slang I've learnt off the youtubes

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:09, Reply)
allow it

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:19, Reply)
you're sending me

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:22, Reply)
send *this* m8
*points at crotch*
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:51, Reply)
2nd class

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:55, Reply)
^ set adrift on memory bliss

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:33, Reply)
Oh what a horrible morning
Oh what a horrible day
I've got a horrible feeling
People just get in my way
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 9:56, Reply)
bit glum, cheer up

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:27, Reply)
Can't. Too cold.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:47, Reply)
Sorry I'm late, Miss.

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:06, Reply)
stand in the corner

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:28, Reply)

\_(ツ)_/
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:07, Reply)
not seen that in many a yonk

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:28, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:02, Reply)
mørning

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:13, Reply)
I'm reet

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:18, Reply)
Morning

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 6:33, Reply)
That's right it's my candleday
14 years of this sort of nonsense
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 6:34, Reply)
I'm still going

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 6:35, Reply)
Cor blimey, look at all 'em candles, eh.
Happy b3taday, lol old.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 6:53, Reply)
Yep
It's been a while
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 6:58, Reply)
well met, willenium
enjoy the warmth
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:10, Reply)
I shall

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:15, Reply)
Look at that, eh?
Grrrmachine sees your candles. He sees your morning thread. Do you think he gives a toss? Ha! As if he ever gave a toss.
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:21, Reply)
Gosh
happy candles an' that
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 10:45, Reply)
don't forget to put your bins out
haha, whose schtick was that? some prick probably
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 17:42, Reply)
Some men from the council drag them out of the underground car park for us.

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 17:46, Reply)
this country voted against the elites like you

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 17:55, Reply)
richard mcbeef

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 17:48, Reply)
I'm kidding
it was me
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 17:48, Reply)
keep up the good work

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 17:56, Reply)
Alright doves

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 17:48, Reply)
hiya mongy
how's things? family ok? enjoying the occasional booze or you off it?
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 17:57, Reply)
I was going to reply to this thread but it looks like a lot of pressure

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 18:02, Reply)
I didn't realise it was a q and a thing , I'm out

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 18:13, Reply)
waqanda forever

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 19:12, Reply)
ok don't worry about it

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 18:45, Reply)
Why don't you come on over Valerie

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 19:19, Reply)
alright doves

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 18:55, Reply)
alright t-duvz

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 18:57, Reply)
Mine go out Thursday night

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 19:18, Reply)
But what about the bins!!!

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 19:43, Reply)
prick schtick

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 20:03, Reply)
schick rik

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 20:23, Reply)
Some knobhead has chucked a shedload of cardboard out onto the pavement
in full knowledge that it won't get picked up until Wednesday.
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 21:16, Reply)
CallLittlewood

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 21:33, Reply)
I'll call the Roms and tell them the house that dumped it is full of scrap metal.

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 21:44, Reply)
That's bed sorted

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 21:34, Reply)
It's been thoroughly pissed on by the rain by now; I don't want a waterbed.
My dad made enquiries about getting a waterbed when he moved into his place. They told him "Unless your bedroom's on the ground floor, forget about it. Those things weigh two tonnes when full of water."
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 21:46, Reply)
Are they really any better than an inflatable mattress?

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 22:19, Reply)
#mattresschat

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 22:19, Reply)
Dunno, never had the opportunity to shag or sleep on one.

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 22:31, Reply)
strikey-g everything after shag

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 23:48, Reply)
ooh, u r so edgy

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 23:52, Reply)
the rated-r superstar

(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 0:18, Reply)

+ol
te n
+at
(, Mon 24 Sep 2018, 7:20, Reply)
Not morning.

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 17:15, Reply)
Easy
Like Sunday morning
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 6:52, Reply)
Steezy

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 8:26, Reply)
Easy
Like your mum
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 9:43, Reply)
Hi will

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 10:07, Reply)
Hi

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 12:51, Reply)
Hullo tharr.

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 10:19, Reply)
Don't believe everything you read on public bog walls

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 10:40, Reply)
I'd certainly divide all the lengths by 2.

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 10:56, Reply)
^serial penis slasher

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 15:12, Reply)
Don't believe everything you read on teh interwebz either.

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 10:59, Reply)
You mean there are lies? On the internet? ??

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 11:21, Reply)
Loose lips sink ships.

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 11:22, Reply)
And Lou's rips shrink hips

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 11:36, Reply)
Are you referring to Lou "The Incredible Guff" Ferrigno?

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 11:44, Reply)
You're thinking of icebergs

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 11:55, Reply)

you get a parking violation and a maggot on your seat
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 12:17, Reply)
community chest got weird

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 12:26, Reply)
You should see the state of 'chance'

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 12:50, Reply)
woop wopp, local holiday tomorrow, loosers!

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 14:36, Reply)
'Woop wopp'

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 14:42, Reply)
^alarmed

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 15:03, Reply)
Sounds like an obscure genre of music.

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 15:08, Reply)
It was a typo but it amused me so I decided not to fix it.

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 15:20, Reply)
Suona come la Polizia.

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 15:43, Reply)
sneezy rider

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 15:15, Reply)
Cheesy dyke bumgay whore 'ting, more like

(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 15:57, Reply)
this sunday morning wasn't very easy,
i was extremely drunk last night
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 16:57, Reply)
you weren't drinking the red, were you?
red wine causes terrible hangovers
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 16:58, Reply)
yeah obv,
can't drink white it gives me indigestion, anyway it's nowhere near as bad as a gin hangover
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 16:59, Reply)
i'm not too bad off gin
spicy noodles and a large coffee usually sort me right out
(, Sun 23 Sep 2018, 17:15, Reply)
busy one today, eh?

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:13, Reply)
No
Apart from job search, it's been nice and quiet
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:26, Reply)
i meant on here, really
but sure. everyone feel free to post your blog posts in this thread
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:47, Reply)
All kids love blog

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 21:40, Reply)
It's better than bbad: it's bgood.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 22:22, Reply)

www.google.co.uk/search?q=job

hth
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 21:55, Reply)
Been there, applied for that

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 22:11, Reply)
Or if you want to apply to be the next Michael Caine:
www.google.it/search?q=job
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 22:19, Reply)
I don't think I'm qualified

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 23:05, Reply)
nah

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:26, Reply)
alright, calm down

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:47, Reply)
I'm terrifically upset.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 21:05, Reply)
yeh getting soundly trounced

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:28, Reply)
by who?
in what?
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:48, Reply)
by WINE in my STOMACH
ffs
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:50, Reply)
i thought you meant in the 'defeated' sense
drinking is for poofs
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:53, Reply)
any adjective will do when it comes to getting drunk.
or noun, for that matter. well you verb it into a participle and then it will do. hammered. trolleyed. spannered.
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:56, Reply)
Being drunk officially has more synonyms than anything else in the English language.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 21:45, Reply)
you could do this material on live at the apollo

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 23:42, Reply)
yeh i'm like completely apolloed right now

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 23:45, Reply)
13?

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 23:49, Reply)
Wine is lovely

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 22:12, Reply)
it's alright intit me duck

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 22:15, Reply)
lol tit

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 23:41, Reply)
Got up at midday, pissed about a bit then went pub.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:42, Reply)
i usually just piss in the one place when i'm at home

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:49, Reply)
i was at a hey duggee themed birthday party

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:49, Reply)
Looked at some plumbing

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:53, Reply)
ibyd
ydob
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:54, Reply)
Who is this mano I thought it was drimble, but I remember their first incarnation as ,REDACTED and the were more erudite

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 22:52, Reply)
i dunno anymore
as long as they don't cause any fucking trouble they can cosplay as whatever account they want
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 23:44, Reply)
within reason, i should add
just because some of you are pricks
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 23:45, Reply)
Last time I posted big bang bumhole I got stepped , sadtimes

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 23:59, Reply)
It's heralded potential business in the future.
The last session of the short film festival was deffo the best. Qualitay all round.
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 21:30, Reply)
What's the word on the street?

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 12:29, Reply)
HIEGHT

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 12:52, Reply)
Not entirely sure that's a word.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 13:19, Reply)
It was written on the car park of our local Toys'R'Us.
Always amused me.
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 18:28, Reply)
his idiocy eclipses globally held totals

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:52, Reply)
Alright, "glenn frey"

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:11, Reply)
I don't remember if anyone did an hilarious /board picture about his casket in a crematorium when he died.
That was a missed opportunity if they didn't, can't believe I only thought of it now.
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 17:11, Reply)
Stop
Children crossing
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 13:12, Reply)
What do I do after I've stopped them crossing?

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 13:19, Reply)
Tell them how many sweets you could get for 10p when you were a kid

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 13:45, Reply)
I'd probably get a "Piss off, granddad" or something equivalent in yoot-speak in return.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:06, Reply)
That's when you tell them kids were respectful in your day

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:14, Reply)
They really weren't though, were they?
#rosetint
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:32, Reply)
not in the least

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 15:32, Reply)
There were a few right little cunts in my secondary class
I'd put money on it that they're now either inside or dead
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 15:49, Reply)
there's a few in every school
my primary school was tiny, but we had the weird sci-fi kid that nobody liked, the smelly little fuck who picked his nose, the "i've got better stuff than everyone else" girl and a whole family of stealing little scumbags, all but two of whom have since done time
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 15:56, Reply)
I sometimes wonder what happened to Anthony Bayliss.
He was your stereotypical thick and poor kid. He got chucked out for swiping 15 quids worth of coppers for the sponsored African child fund.

Did every school have a large family where all the kids looked exactly the same but were slightly different sizes, like Russian dolls?
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 19:16, Reply)
I think so

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:25, Reply)
rip chas
:(
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 13:42, Reply)
Ain't no pleasing you

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 13:43, Reply)
Chas and Grave more like!!

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:34, Reply)
Grave and Dave, more like

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 17:12, Reply)
:(

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 17:12, Reply)
CHAS: Who's that?
DEATH: Gercha!
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 19:48, Reply)
Wonder where he is now?

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 20:44, Reply)
SLOW

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 13:50, Reply)
This vehicle is reversing.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:05, Reply)
cake
I've got cake
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:07, Reply)
Alright, GLaDOS.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:10, Reply)
alright 2008

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:28, Reply)
The fire in you are heart is out

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:14, Reply)
it meant to be five in your heart
i cry evry tiem
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:18, Reply)
It is out to get you and are led it off the road.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:37, Reply)
someone spray painted the word 'JEBBER' on a small wall near where I work
so that, i guess
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:29, Reply)
jebber 4 pm?

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:31, Reply)
Someone did a cock and balls in some wet cement on a wall near my old work.
It cheered me up every time i nipped out for my lunch.
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:32, Reply)
Best of all the chet protocols.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:34, Reply)
this is much funnier than it should be

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 15:36, Reply)
WHAT FOR YOU KICK MY DOG AND CALL HIM FUCK OFF? WHAT FOR?

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 14:56, Reply)
yeah why did you do that mofaha?

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 15:09, Reply)
M KHAN IS BENT

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 16:55, Reply)
I'm bloody not

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 17:09, Reply)
Methinks the mongy doth protest too much.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 17:23, Reply)
Cheers

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 17:30, Reply)

eer a
(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 18:04, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 7:30, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 9:17, Reply)
I looked in the mirror this morning and I see that a few more of my hair atoms have gone

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 9:31, Reply)
hairdrogen

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 9:46, Reply)
Alright.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 10:09, Reply)
Bleh.

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 10:28, Reply)
afternoon here already

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 11:36, Reply)
Am I late?

(, Sat 22 Sep 2018, 11:44, Reply)

Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search