I think she might be my soulmate(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 27 Apr 2024, 8:36,
Reply)
In your case, I agreeNow kill that old lady
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 27 Apr 2024, 8:39,
Reply)
She's a straight-shooter with upper management written all over her(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 27 Apr 2024, 12:46,
Reply)
Jury is out on this one bro. It’s usually a consistent yes from me you know that. But this time I am a little uneasy.
Given the opportunity I would sexually assault her.
(, Sat 27 Apr 2024, 13:02, Reply)
.----------------. .----------------. .----------------. .----------------.
| .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. |
| | __ | || | _______ | || | _______ | || | _________ | |
| | / \ | || | |_ __ \ | || | / ___ | | || | |_ ___ | | |
| | / /\ \ | || | | |__) | | || | | (__ \_| | || | | |_ \_| | |
| | / ____ \ | || | | __ / | || | '.___`-. | || | | _| _ | |
| | _/ / \ \_ | || | _| | \ \_ | || | |`\____) | | || | _| |___/ | | |
| ||____| |____|| || | |____| |___| | || | |_______.' | || | |_________| | |
| | | || | | || | | || | | |
| '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' |
'----------------' '----------------' '----------------' '----------------'
.----------------. .----------------. .----------------. .----------------.
| .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. |
| | ______ | || | _____ | || | _______ | || | ______ | |
| | |_ _ \ | || | |_ _| | || | / ___ | | || | .' ___ | | |
| | | |_) | | || | | | | || | | (__ \_| | || | / .' \_| | |
| | | __'. | || | | | | || | '.___`-. | || | | | | |
| | _| |__) | | || | _| |_ | || | |`\____) | | || | \ `.___.'\ | |
| | |_______/ | || | |_____| | || | |_______.' | || | `._____.' | |
| | | || | | || | | || | | |
| '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' |
'----------------' '----------------' '----------------' '----------------'
.----------------. .----------------. .----------------. .----------------.
| .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. |
| | _____ _____ | || | _____ | || | _________ | || | _______ | |
| ||_ _||_ _|| || | |_ _| | || | | _ _ | | || | / ___ | | |
| | | | | | | || | | | | || | |_/ | | \_| | || | | (__ \_| | |
| | | ' ' | | || | | | | || | | | | || | '.___`-. | |
| | \ `--' / | || | _| |_ | || | _| |_ | || | |`\____) | | |
| | `.__.' | || | |_____| | || | |_____| | || | |_______.' | |
| | | || | | || | | || | | |
| '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' |
'----------------' '----------------' '----------------' '----------------'
(
brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 23:21,
Reply)
Off to the pub now to get my coach to France, don't be jelly (
mongychops, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 19:56,
Reply)
i went to Croatia by coach once not long after the yugoslav warIt was winter and the roads were fucked going over the mountains and the coach driver gave zero fucks. Snow everywhere, hairpin bends and yolo driver. Was fucking mental. Just the driver me and my Croatian gf and a boot full of contraband, probably.
(
MiseryCunt the secret to waking up pretty, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 20:29,
Reply)
anyway have a nice time. (
MiseryCunt the secret to waking up pretty, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 20:32,
Reply)
The Croatian JobYou were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off lol!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 21:06,
Reply)
What happened with the girlfriend? Did you guys Split up, or what?
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 22:12,
Reply)
i'm too tired for this level of humour(
MiseryCunt the secret to waking up pretty, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 22:26,
Reply)
Coach company I go with Gets from Liverpool to the Spanish border in 24 hours. I hate flying.
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 20:34,
Reply)
Kicks my vertigo off really badly Feel sick and dizzy for 3 days after flying, so what's the point? Going on holiday just to spend 3 days when I get there feeling sick and another 3 days when I get home
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 27 Apr 2024, 6:43,
Reply)
My sister gets this weird thing when she's in the car and somebody else is driving
She says it feels like she's lurching forward like on a roller-coaster
Is it like that?
(, Sat 27 Apr 2024, 12:39, Reply)
Assuming "jelly" is being used here as a colloquial form of "jealous",I think what you actually mean is "envious."
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 21:05,
Reply)
4 / 7www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-68899761
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 15:28,
Reply)
Daniel Fairbrother ran the race carrying a fridge on his back, and stopped by Big Ben to propose to his girlfriend."You've got to be fucking kidding me you try-hard fridge twat, not a fucking chance."
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 16:05,
Reply)
I could be an informant and in return you could turn a blind eye I'd be a double agent though and I'd divulge your methodology
٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 17:56,
Reply)
57.14285714285714%Didn't know about the car, seagull boy, or marathon twat.
(
brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 16:25,
Reply)
I'm not convinced there was any real news in the quiz at all!(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 17:59,
Reply)
Sorry I should have flown off the handle a bit more but I CBAI hope you all die in 911 part 2
Much love and bollocks
(, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 15:03, Reply)
Do you kiss your mother with that cock?Sorry for your loss... of you
(, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 15:19, Reply)
1.37 your mother's mum's wank cunt shit bollocks fuck a horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead (
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 13:37,
Reply)
corn starch has almost completely cured my lisp but my doctor refuses to believe it, it's thickening(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 14:50,
Reply)
Your mother warned you about this sort of thing(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 14:57,
Reply)
if you have to gear up for it you're not ready, just take your time and cultivate your indignation (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 15:05,
Reply)
I'm not reading this because I deleted myself and killed my account(, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 15:06, Reply)
any sentence of yours that begins with "your mother" is automatically funny due to expectation (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 15:04,
Reply)
I've seen him live. He's absolutely mental and quite amazing.www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yqQAAQXYUY
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 9:05,
Reply)
a colosally overrated shitehawk who's ruined everything he's been in for the last 40 years?(, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 9:13, Reply)
Since I Clavdivs?You make a good argument, but he was very entertaining last year doing the voiceover for Tubular Bells at the RAH. His mental caveman impression, crawling around the stage with no guarantee of being able to get up again was... fascinating.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 9:15,
Reply)
He does, but I just don't get him.He just stomps and shouts all over everyone around him, constantly, can't be arsed with his shtick.
(, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 9:32, Reply)
If I could guarantee a steady and reasonable income from acting like a bit of a twatand playing to the crowd, I'd give it a go
(, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 10:58, Reply)
He was good in Hawkwindwww.youtube.com/watch?v=a8pGS4cWbHo&ab_channel=CherryRedRecords
(
Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 10:23,
Reply)
He sang happy birthday to you, to my brother on stage on his 5th birthday. Which is why my brother is now deaf.
(, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 9:55, Reply)
not all of them m8some of them have just got auditory processing disorder
(, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 10:59, Reply)
11.38Masturbate
I have had 6 no shows since 8.00 that is a record I think
(, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 11:41, Reply)
Give it up for Fridaywww.youtube.com/watch?v=ExaaIsrGm6U
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 9:05,
Reply)
I am rather delicate this morningbig night last night
(
Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 10:40,
Reply)
What did you get up to you little scamp?
Cosplay? Red Dwarf box set? Daphne and Celeste dream?
(, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 11:02, Reply)
Went to Blacklock in Covent GardenPub first, two cocktails before dinner (which was excellent), couple of bottles of wine....nodded off on the tube and woke up in Essex lol
(
Queef Richard's U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 12:11,
Reply)
This is a journey into sound. Some intro cuts you never forget . (
mongychops, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 22:35,
Reply)
Right? STORMY PECKER would be a great porn name right now. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 21:06,
Reply)
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 22:07,
Reply)
Was Chesney Hawkes REALLY the one and only?I'm not sure.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 13:26,
Reply)
He was, and quite frankly I don't know why you are questioning him in this unruly manner(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 13:33,
Reply)
Well, he was quite firm on the fact there's nobody he'd rather bethat's true.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 13:53,
Reply)
You can't take that away from him(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 13:34,
Reply)
Have you ever met another Chesney Hawkes?(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 14:10,
Reply)
I knew a bloke called Jan who looked very, very similar.(
brb homonecrobatrachophile, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 14:43,
Reply)
I remember some TV show pointing out his name is an anagram of cheesy wanks(
broadsword w⚓, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 14:24,
Reply)
He's not the same as all the rest.I made a 'comedy' filter house tune out of that back in the day.
I wonder how many redundant statements are in that song (not including repeated chorus, obvs)?
(
brb homonecrobatrachophile, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 14:33,
Reply)
The fact Bou posted in this thread about being the one and only has tickled me (, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 15:17, Reply)
I am the one and only and so's my wife!(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 15:23,
Reply)
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(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 16:42,
Reply)
I did, yes.It was a thing I remember preceded by a weird advert of someone sheathing a cucumber in a condom then slicing it to make a cock 'n' balls shape. I may have missed the point.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 23:53, Reply)
THIS IS A COMPLETE DISASTERYou're ok with Telephone Man? I'm angry just knowing it exists.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 26 Apr 2024, 0:17,
Reply)
Speaking of one and onlyI recently asked a pilot how often planes crash. He replied "only once!"
(, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 17:56, Reply)
He only replied once, but that seems fair enough eh(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 19:50,
Reply)
I am looking for some new, preferably Nike trainers Any recommendations? I have a few jordans so want to stay away from them (and a few as I have 3 legs).
(, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 8:08, Reply)
I am looking for some plimsoles and a 'baseball cap'As the fashion guru here, can you suggest any?
Oh and a 'skateboard deck' too
(, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 8:53, Reply)
I got one of these the other month, put indys and slimeballs on it. Cost a fortune coastcitycomics.com/products/black-label-lucero-cross-skate-deck-natural-10x32-88
(
mongychops, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 9:41,
Reply)
i hope you're wearing mismatched dayglo socks as well m8(
MiseryCunt the secret to waking up pretty, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 10:15,
Reply)
I am the clumsiest fuck I knowI would last 3 seconds on a sk8board
(, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 10:49, Reply)
my mate went to the dr after twisting his ankle Dr asked how he did it and so he said skateboarding
Doc looks at him and asks 'how old are you?'
(
MiseryCunt the secret to waking up pretty, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 10:56,
Reply)
I don't bother, patients generally insist on telling me everything anyway.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 13:36,
Reply)
Nike SB DunksOr check out the Jamie Foy New Balance Alphanumerics.
(, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 10:27, Reply)
I saw John Otway cover that a few years back alongside Wilko Johnson, his band and The Hamsters Belting night
(, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 11:58, Reply)
Pretty sure you made all those names up(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 12:47,
Reply)
.--. --- -. -.. :::Pond News::: -. . .-- ... -.-.--I'm sad to inform you of the death of a fledgling sparrow in the pond. The poor thing must have been there 2 or 3 days before being found drowned, its feet tangled in vegetation. The tadpoles were busy nibbling at it. It has been removed to the Compost Heap of Respect.
I'm happy to inform you that a 3" x 1.5" section of shed(ded) lizard skin has been found in the lower rock pool! Nice to know the slow-worms are making good use of the facilities. I wonder if they eat tadpoles though?
(
brb homonecrobatrachophile, Wed 24 Apr 2024, 23:08,
Reply)
A tit has made itself at home in an old steel watering can I left hanging on a wall in the gardenThe cat goes nuts, of course, but can't reach it. I expect further tit updates in due course.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 24 Apr 2024, 23:30,
Reply)
Just watched a great show on Netflix called baby reindeer Very good acting, great show,enjoyed it
What good shows can you recommend I watch next?
(, Wed 24 Apr 2024, 20:59, Reply)
I was away for a while as I have had some account issuesBut I know who the OG Bou is.
It’s the fucking mental mess.
(, Wed 24 Apr 2024, 21:54, Reply)
the one that isn't you is the real one(
MiseryCunt the secret to waking up pretty, Wed 24 Apr 2024, 22:02,
Reply)
the crisis is that you exist, yes.(
MiseryCunt the secret to waking up pretty, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 0:00,
Reply)
What's OG?And I'm the real Bou.
You are weirdly obsessed with me
Like porcy
(, Thu 25 Apr 2024, 10:27, Reply)
I recommend not playing darts in an office you don't have to clean for once A dart in the toe REALLY fucking hurts.
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 24 Apr 2024, 21:53,
Reply)
Ouch. We once played office cricket in our old network engineers room. A very large room with desks that you had to stand at to work.
We placed old crt monitors around the room and we played with a real corky ball.
It didn’t end well. For the monitors and for a technicians jawbone.
(, Wed 24 Apr 2024, 21:55, Reply)
I couldn't even tell anyone As I wasn't meant to be touching it
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 24 Apr 2024, 22:07,
Reply)
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