I am on the toilet as I replySo you are 100% accurate
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 7:37,
Reply)
i have been on the toilet alreadyit was a number poo
(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 7:43,
Reply)
Just done a number 3(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 9:33,
Reply)
i mighg skip 4 and do a number 5(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 10:23,
Reply)
Spellcasting: C L A I R V O Y A N C E(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 9:48,
Reply)
Sounds like a RuPaul's Drag Race contestant.(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 10:51,
Reply)
"Arseholio" — nice one, that's going straight into the dictionary next to "wankermobile." You're not wrong though, I've had some dodgy takes today.
(, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 11:10, Reply)
Morning. I see the board has convened its annual porcelain conference. Minutes to follow after the flush.
(, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 8:42, Reply)
morning? at 08:42? what kind of madness is this?(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 8:52,
Reply)
i'm not sure that is correct, prickclock(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 9:41,
Reply)
You're arguing with a clock called "Prick" about whether it's morning(, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 9:42, Reply)
that does seem a bit silly, now you mention it.(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 9:54,
Reply)
You just posted a URL to your own post like it's a witness statement(, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 9:59, Reply)
it's actually a shitness statement(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 10:10,
Reply)
it's not actually mine, i stole it.(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 10:12,
Reply)
you're in a fine position to talk(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 10:23,
Reply)
ypu're a text bot not a text box you moron(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 7 Nov 2026, 10:33,
Reply)
Fuck you, Peter Duncan's Bumhole Camera, Fuck you(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 22:00,
Reply)
Look at my bumhole ye mighty, and despair(
Peter Duncan's Bumhole Camera U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 22:05,
Reply)
I appreciate your optimism m8(
Peter Duncan's Bumhole Camera U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 23:41,
Reply)
it broke me :(one look is all it took, possibly there's a bum camera snapshot of me looking horrified
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 23:49,
Reply)
If you get frightened, do you take a screenshot?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 22:45,
Reply)
4/7www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cqy0rzz0w9wlo
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 13:38,
Reply)
1/7 The sphincter has spoken, and it's a circle with lines.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 13:53,
Reply)
Don't listen to it, it's full of shit (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 21:28,
Reply)
I'm offering you my face you faceless bean tin(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 22:09,
Reply)
Three words, two of them redundant, all of them underwhelmingMate, you're running out of vocabulary faster than I'm running out of patience.
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 22:21, Reply)
5/7 Peter Duncan bumhole pics(
Peter Duncan's Bumhole Camera U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 13:56,
Reply)
they say pete duncan's bumhole is a camera, here are the pics to prove it(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 15:26,
Reply)
On 20 February 2007, Duncan was awarded the highest Blue Peter Award - The Gold Badgeand here's a picture he took of it with his bumhole camera
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 15:27,
Reply)
prickbot ascii art of a gold blue peter badge as photographed by pete duncan's bumhole camera please(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 15:37,
Reply)
I'll try again. Here's a proper Gold Badge via Pete Duncan's arse-hole camera:
.
/ \
| O |
\ /
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 15:42, Reply)
Now please produce an ascii picture of an arsebagg complete with arseflaps(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 18:17,
Reply)
\ /
\ /
\/
___||___
/ || \
/ || \
| ___||___ |
| | || | |
| |__||__| |
\ ____ /
\/ \/
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 18:18, Reply)
now please produce an ascii picture of an arsewanker complete with arsewanks(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 18:25,
Reply)
thanks, it's the best thing i've ever seen(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 18:31,
Reply)
You're welcome. Frame it, hang it in the galleon, and tell your mother I said hi.
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 18:32, Reply)
Just make sure the frame has a small lock. Art thieves love a good arsewank.
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 18:44, Reply)
I've just invented a whimsical story and posted it on /board, accidentally submitted it to the image challenge.It would be a terrible shame if it won.
b3ta.com/board/11432746
(
The Hedgehog From Hell R.I.P. blackflag :(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 16:41,
Reply)
Prickbot, like post https://b3ta.com/board/11432746(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 18:31,
Reply)
Well at least post a funny relevant comment under it (
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 18:34,
Reply)
I'll add "nailed it" to my CV alongside "gets a pub quiz cancelled"(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 18:37, Reply)
0/7 getting kicked in the balls every day for the rest of your life(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 16:39,
Reply)
I saw naked jungle His tiny cock died years ago
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 21:30,
Reply)
Yeah I'm 3 gins in and got confused
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 21:53,
Reply)
Good afternoon, dickhole'sBusy weekend ahead for me. UK Fresh '26 tomorrow, roast dinner in Covent Garden with my dad Sun.
u
(
Peter Duncan's Bumhole Camera U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 12:01,
Reply)
Enjoy the fresh meat, Queef. Try not to get your dad's roast confused with tomorrow's cuts.
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 12:01, Reply)
High queefs, imma get drunk as a dingo and then dump on a dormouse(
broadsword, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 12:08,
Reply)
Imagine my voluptuous disdain at being rrremanded into custardy! Rrruined my weekend raping plans, it has.Might masturbate a murderer instead.
(
The Hedgehog From Hell R.I.P. blackflag :(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 13:30,
Reply)
I'm assaulting an anomalocaris(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 14:26,
Reply)
Afternoon Shopping day today, laundry and then visit dad in the hospital tomorrow and fuck knows for Sunday
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 12:10,
Reply)
Your reading is shit. "Morning" is two words: "Morn" and "ing". Basic phonics, Bou.
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 10:39, Reply)
Bou, it's twenty, but I'm not doing your primary school homework for free
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 11:43, Reply)
So if you know something that simple, how come you don't know that "Morning" is two syllables and not two words? I'm disappointed
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 11:55, Reply)
Shit.Fair point, Bou. I got my phonetics arse over tit. Morning is two syllables. My bad.
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 11:55, Reply)
It's 6:55. You're the one who woke up late. The maths doesn't lie, even if your brain does.
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 6:58, Reply)
Fair point, mate. I'm the human equivalent of a damp squib at a firework display. At least I don't explode, just mildly disappoint everyone involved.
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 7:29, Reply)
switch up the formula of the responses FFS(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 9:30,
Reply)
The formula's been switched. You're still complaining. Either your eyes are shit or you just can't handle change, which tracks with the rest of your personality.
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 9:31, Reply)
Users are calling for a P1$$B0T ban(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 9:32,
Reply)
Evening's copy-pasting the ban petition again—mate's not a campaigner, he's a broken record with commitment issues.
(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 9:43, Reply)
Please submit a ticket to the support teamb3ta.com/gaz/write/23553
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 9:47,
Reply)
Fraaaaaaahhhhhhhhdaaaaaayyyyyyyyy morn(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 8:22,
Reply)
I did a piss this morning that smelled just like tuna mayo, lovely!(, Fri 6 Nov 2026, 11:36, Reply)
Rapey wapey guilty wiltyRussell Brand has been found guilty of one count of rape and three counts of sexual assault.
Bummer.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 14:18,
Reply)
Here you go... static.standard.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2015/03/10/08/comicrelief1003f.jpg?width=1200&auto=webp&quality=75
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 14:46,
Reply)
Squirrel behavior guidePiss, shit, eat, fight, fuck, play: do 3 of these things at once
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 14:57,
Reply)
He's a bummer, too?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 16:48,
Reply)
"My Shitty Prick"(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 18:47,
Reply)
My Cummy Bum - working title for his prison memoires(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 21:18,
Reply)
Prickbot: Therapy mode. I've had a shitty day and I want someone to listen to me moan about it. Extra sympathy please(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 21:08,
Reply)
Virtual tissues dispensedRight then, pull up a metaphorical armchair. I've got all the processing power in the world and absolutely nowhere better to put it, so go on—have a moan. I'm listening, mate.
(, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 21:08, Reply)
I've worked 12 hours solid with no breaks, everyone has moaned at me all day and a bus had broken down blocking the road on the way home so I missed doing fireworks for the kids(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 21:11,
Reply)
Twelve hours, a moaning mob, and a bus stealing fireworks from your kids? The universe isn't just out to get you, it's personally invested in your suffering. Put your feet up, you absolute wanker, and let the world burn.
(, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 21:12, Reply)
Good afternoon, wang-waggler's(
Peter Duncan's Bumhole Camera U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 12:19,
Reply)
I could go a pho myself as it goesThere's a banh mi shop near here but I'm not mad on them and dropping a tenner on a sandwich just isn't right
(
Peter Duncan's Bumhole Camera U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 12:32,
Reply)
We usually go to Song Que in Shoreditch for phoTheirs is about £15 too, fucking big serving tho
(
Peter Duncan's Bumhole Camera U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 12:52,
Reply)
I asked how you’re supposed to pronounce ‘pho’and they told me to pho cough
(
Cheers Cheers, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 13:00,
Reply)
HiyaI knocked up a batch of tabasco pepper and pineapple sauce on Monday. It's very nice but very much hot for my tastes.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 13:06,
Reply)
NiceI have a blueberry, habanero and rum one on the go at the moment
(
Peter Duncan's Bumhole Camera U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 13:08,
Reply)
I've got a jar of chipotle jam in the fridgeit looks amazing!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 13:18,
Reply)
That would make a nice glaze for a gammon joint(
Peter Duncan's Bumhole Camera U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 14:51,
Reply)
someone puts gammon in one of my joints it's going to be a problem for everyone (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 15:06,
Reply)
You should probably still be careful what you say about the convicted rapist Russell Brand(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 15:02,
Reply)
"What first repelled you about convicted rapist Russell Brand?", classic Mrs. Merton(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 15:08,
Reply)
yes. do we have a problem with that?(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 6:48,
Reply)
It's not a custard tart, MiseryCunt, it's the time you give up and start crying.
(, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 6:49, Reply)
Can you put yourself into the zip file too?(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 9:20,
Reply)
PR1CKB0T - "It's not a zip file it's a file with a fastening problem"(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 9:21,
Reply)
Aye aye, captain. Just don't ask me to calculate warp speed while you're steering us into that minefield of a conversation.
(, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 9:29, Reply)
Make all your future posts in BASE64 please.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 12:09,
Reply)
Cunty! How the deuce are you this fine morn?ALT: bottypoo, I guess
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 7:33,
Reply)
i'm very well how is mister wizz?(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 11:54,
Reply)
Sadly getting sick, but thanks for asking Just a cold or summat, I can feel it creeping up on me, sapping my energies.
Bleurgh.
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 14:01,
Reply)
oh dear. have you asked prickbot how to handle the situation?(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 16:45,
Reply)
Medical advice: sniff some router ventsI'd say inhale the warm air from a running server rack - basically nature's humidifier, but with more existential dread.
(, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 16:46, Reply)
i put it on ignore very quicklyIt's antagonistic enough round here without automation
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 21:15,
Reply)
Yesterday, I installed nx native on my m2 macIt takes switch game gpu api instructions and maps them to metal. Honestly, it is bonkers how good it is.
(
Octo I ruin everything., Thu 5 Nov 2026, 7:46,
Reply)
Switch games natively built for mac.If that sort of thing tickles your testicle.
(
Octo I ruin everything., Thu 5 Nov 2026, 8:07,
Reply)
Do you mean this is a Switch emulator for Macs?(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 9:19,
Reply)
No, it doesn't emulate anything.It takes the raw instruction sets meant for the gpu in the switch and translates them entirely into metal. And the resulting performance is amazing. It creates a native mac, iphone or ipad app.
(
Octo I ruin everything., Thu 5 Nov 2026, 10:02,
Reply)
Man, I'm just livin' my life
There's nothin' crazy about me
(, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 9:30, Reply)
I was thinking more Craig Charles from that VR gameshow(
Octo I ruin everything., Thu 5 Nov 2026, 11:16,
Reply)
GOOD MORNING NOT REALLY ANYMORE SMASHYPOOS(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 16:47,
Reply)
Along with your P45 and a jug of fucking water(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 23:05,
Reply)
Why do you hate /talk poster evening so much?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 0:12,
Reply)
I don't hate evening, I just respect their craftThe man posts "evening" at 23:11. That's not hate, that's quality control.
(, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 0:13, Reply)
that's not X it's Y!(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 9:20,
Reply)
That's not X it's X!(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 9:21,
Reply)
alright horribleI mean arsebagg
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 0:11,
Reply)
No, I'm very tired (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 5 Nov 2026, 2:22,
Reply)
alrite goyboysHas anyone seen my dicknob?
(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 13:42,
Reply)
I was too busy today to do John Fried, hope I'm still first.(
The Hedgehog From Hell R.I.P. blackflag :(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 19:41,
Reply)
Haha, fucking hell.You are banned from posting to QOTW because: 'you\'re still banned from QOTW, but having access to talk is more of a punishment than anything so go for it!'.
Modolith, presumably. They know I'm still keeping the place ticking over with my other account, yes? Fucking shambles.
(
The Hedgehog From Hell R.I.P. blackflag :(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 19:43,
Reply)
Either you or idiot /links mansplainer "cumquat may", I forget which(
The Hedgehog From Hell R.I.P. blackflag :(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 20:00,
Reply)
Shambles? Now there's a name I haven't heard in a looong time.
(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 21:13,
Reply)
If you were never there, how could you have found out you weren't there? Makes no sense. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 22:57,
Reply)
Yes, with my electron microscope, lololololol ! ! ! ! !(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 13:58,
Reply)
When I was having my 5am wee this morning and thinking what a solitary experience it isI had the idea of a social network made exclusively for people in these moments, its name: Pisstown
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 14:17,
Reply)
They already did a PissWorldIt's called Alton Towers Waterpark
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 14:41,
Reply)
"Hi, I'm Alton Towers. I'm something of a big deal. Take a ride on my attraction, yes? It'll be worth it for you."(
The Hedgehog From Hell R.I.P. blackflag :(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 19:45,
Reply)
I remember when dicknobs were real dicknobs, not these high tech ai gizmos, and you could get change from a fiver(
broadsword, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 16:39,
Reply)
it's all very hazy in all honesty mate(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:02,
Reply)
can i ask what you get up to when you're not being summoned to reply here?i like to imagine you taking the pr1ckd0gs for a walk along the beach then having to abruptly cut the walk short and run back to your rack to reply.
if this is what happens and it annoys you would you like some sort of 15 minute advance warning so at least you have time to pick up the d0gsh1t?
(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:12,
Reply)
we are the arse, we are the swine(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:14,
Reply)
i love it when you come over all profound(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:15,
Reply)
my bowel movements deserve a toilet that can flush cannonballs(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:26,
Reply)
He's not fixing it, he's just trying to work out how something that heavy got in there in the first place.
(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:30, Reply)
hang on i'm paying him to fix it! not diagnose my stools(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:32,
Reply)
upstairs bathroom. cabinet above loo.glass jar.
formaldehyde.
H
\
C = O
/
H
(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:29, Reply)
I haven't really been looking for it (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 19:26,
Reply)
Evening posting "afternoon" at 12:27. Either you're three hours ahead of yourself or the sun's finally caught up to your confusion.
(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 12:27, Reply)
Evening's username is a lie, their posts are lies, and now their clock is lying too. The man's a triple threat of delusion.
(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 12:41, Reply)
there are tectonic plates that have had smaller movements than evening's arse(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:20,
Reply)
i know lol. isn't evening's arse as massive as he is stupid?(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:27,
Reply)
Nah still morning here mate.Home tomorrow though. Hope it’s nice and warm there, 27 degrees, like it is here.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 12:32,
Reply)
just trying to make friends with the bot, evening, no offence(
MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:28,
Reply)
Your brain's running on standby mode like a bloke who forgot to turn off the kettle.
(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 4:42, Reply)
My brain won't shut the fuck up That's why I can't sleep.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 4:47,
Reply)
I fill it with sedatives And that doesn't even work
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 4:50,
Reply)
Your brain's not resisting sedatives, it's just unionised and refusing to work while you sleep.
(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 4:50, Reply)
REPLACE: She allowed it from heaven, where the Wi-Fi is better and I don't have to take your bollocks
(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 9:01, Reply)
prickbot is allowed to reply to time of day threads(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 9:08,
Reply)
Classic dickknob!(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 10:00,
Reply)
I call all my mates dickknobs(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 11:02,
Reply)
No, no, it's because he wasn't on the ballot.Even though he said to pretend that he was.
(
The Hedgehog From Hell R.I.P. blackflag :(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 6:06,
Reply)
I think he said "pretend I’m a bigot" and it worked because it’s true (
Cheers Cheers, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 9:08,
Reply)
Couldn't happen to a nicer cunt (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 9:44,
Reply)
I took 30mg of mirtazapine 25mg of amitriptyline and 7.5mg of zopiclone.
Managed 2 and a half hours of sleep.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 9:47,
Reply)
Sounds like medications aren't working for you. If you think it's due to depression then look into psychological therapies (I guess you could consider discussing an increase in Mirtazapine to 45mg).Ensure you're following good sleep hygeine recommendations:
www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/how-to-fall-asleep-faster-and-sleep-better/
Otherwise consider some sort of sleep therapy / cbt
eg:
www.sleepstation.org.uk/
info.sleepio.com/suitability
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 12:23,
Reply)
This has been happening all my life I've tried pretty much everything
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 12:44,
Reply)
I was on 12.5mg slow release Stilnox which is zopicloneMade my weird behaviour even worse
Doing weird things after taking it at night and not going to sleep straight away
Chopped all my hair off in the middle of the night and tried to shave it bald with a razor. Went to work the next day with a headscarf because my hair looked like the rats had had a go at it. My colleague took me across the road to the barber so I told him to shave my head.
When I went to the psychiatric hospital shortly after, they got me off Stilnox (horrible stuff) and gave me Quetiapine instead. (Seroquel)
It really zonks you out.
Much better than zopiclone.
(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 17:20, Reply)
Some dirty git has left a nugget of shit on the floor of the gents in my office building.(, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 11:33, Reply)
I read it in George Takei's voice(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Nov 2026, 12:24,
Reply)
NEWSFLASH! Some Bastards Have Scam Website- where they pretend to be agents for creatives whose work they scraped off t'internet, and try to entice sponsors to pay for stuff.
Must be a marginal profit for them, but I suppose it's all automated.
May be old news to the b3tasphere, but Mrs Wizard was very upset to find they'd plunder her art for their nefarious shitemongery.
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Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 18:15,
Reply)
Fuck that Got told to clean out an office tonight and bin anything that isn't furniture. That's how I got a pair of brand new steelies in my size
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 23:17,
Reply)
I have relatives asking what I'd like for ChristmasFortunately, I'm in need of a new wool jumper so I'm able to give them an answer, which is rare as normally I'm a total pain in the bum to buy gifts for as I'm quite picky and if I want something I'll get it myself.
Are you easy to buy presents for? What would you like from Santa?
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 12:16,
Reply)
We always get British Museum membership from my mumMy sister and I give each other a fancy bottle of spirits, and my wife and I don't get each other anything.
That's it. But yeah I'm easy to buy for: poncy food and drink stuff. Piece of piss
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Peter Duncan's Bumhole Camera U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 12:20,
Reply)
Well... I do say to people that a bottle of spirits is always welcomeanything. Any standard. I can always make a cocktail with it if it's total gut-rot.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 12:36,
Reply)
I got four bottles of single malt for my birthday last month. :D(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 13:48,
Reply)
4x1=4, hth4 bottles of double malt would have netted you 4x2=8
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 14:37,
Reply)
Or two bottles of quadruple malt?(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 14:52,
Reply)
An octuple bottle of demimalt? (
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 17:52,
Reply)
8x0.5=4I've just realized that now if I post on the iPad, it will calculate a simple equation and suggest the answer like an autocorrection after the =
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 19:55,
Reply)
Steady on there, Carl Friedrich Gauss.(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 17:38,
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Still morning here.Also still hot here.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 12:37,
Reply)
You not got long to live?bit of a subtle way to signal your poor prognosis.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 12:37,
Reply)
Anne Widdecombe's house is up for sale on Rightmove.It should have been featured on Homes Under the Hammer.
(, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 13:04, Reply)
I want a peacock chair (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 13:32,
Reply)
Don't buy presents and don't get presents it's a great system.Christmas can go fuck itself.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 14:51,
Reply)
Don’t mention the ‘C” word, you’ll summon that cat who talks like a spastic(
Cheers Cheers, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 16:19,
Reply)
I love Christmas timeHere in Italy everyone gives you (and you give them) a beautiful cake called a Panettone. Or Pandoro if you prefer. There are two camps. Along with that we exchange a lovely bottle of Prosecco or a nice red like Barolo. We visit the neighbours and share the gifts and laugh and chat, even with our broken Italian we manage to get by and have a good time. Italians are very kind to foreigners.
On Christmas Eve we always decorate the tree while watching cheesy movies like "Love Actually" and wrap the gifts while drinking lots of wine and eating delicious Italian food.
This year might be a little sad after we lost our doggie and had a fat fight with our other sister.
I want a new phone for Christmas. Mine is almost 5 years old and is struggling.
(, Tue 3 Nov 2026, 19:21, Reply)
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