I went to the panto, then made mulled cider.
Pretty christmassy evening, I reckon.
( , Sun 24 Dec 2017, 0:22, archived)
Pretty christmassy evening, I reckon.
( , Sun 24 Dec 2017, 0:22, archived)
Last year my brother offered my dad cocaine at the dinner table on Christmas day.
This year he is actually not working Christmas eve so is coming to a party with family friends. Gonna be good I reckon.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:01, archived)
This year he is actually not working Christmas eve so is coming to a party with family friends. Gonna be good I reckon.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:01, archived)
just drove 5 hours in the snow with a clenched arsehole
unleashed anal devestation upon arrival at my in-laws and collapsed for a four-hour nap.
I'm finally in the Christmas spirit.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:10, archived)
unleashed anal devestation upon arrival at my in-laws and collapsed for a four-hour nap.
I'm finally in the Christmas spirit.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:10, archived)
I spent the afternoon in the pub then bowled round lidl and sainos to do the christmas shop.
I've got 2 bottles of wine and some rum for christmas day. Might get some beer tomorrow when I'm at the laundrette.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:34, archived)
I've got 2 bottles of wine and some rum for christmas day. Might get some beer tomorrow when I'm at the laundrette.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:34, archived)
Got tickets for Craig Charles funk and soul on the 27th.
Have you tried Aldi's gin? I keep telling my old dear to get it as she likes her gin and doesn't believe me it's shit-hot.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:41, archived)
Have you tried Aldi's gin? I keep telling my old dear to get it as she likes her gin and doesn't believe me it's shit-hot.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:41, archived)
Oh yeah, Morrisons do a decent own brand gin for 15 quid, their London Dry.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:45, archived)
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:45, archived)
I'm at me dad's place and there's like no beer or owt.
My dad's virtually teetotal.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:39, archived)
My dad's virtually teetotal.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:39, archived)
He has a dedicated beer fridge in the kitchen but it's full of wood glue.
Luckily he has a larger dedicated beer fridge in the front room and there's more chance of there being something worthwhile in there.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:46, archived)
Luckily he has a larger dedicated beer fridge in the front room and there's more chance of there being something worthwhile in there.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:46, archived)
it's not wood glue m8
it's his own spunk stored in PVA bottles for easier artificial insemination. He's got a decent ebay racket going for married lesbians and you've got more siblings than an ant colony.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:03, archived)
it's his own spunk stored in PVA bottles for easier artificial insemination. He's got a decent ebay racket going for married lesbians and you've got more siblings than an ant colony.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:03, archived)
Not if you've converted a room of your house into a woodworking workshop, like my dad has.
Lol, "wood working".
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:48, archived)
Lol, "wood working".
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:48, archived)
he's a one-man sperm bank
and you're drinking from his Masturbatorium.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:51, archived)
and you're drinking from his Masturbatorium.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:51, archived)
my inlaws are teetotal
but my brother in law just dropped off a bottle of talisker to aid my recovery.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:58, archived)
but my brother in law just dropped off a bottle of talisker to aid my recovery.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 19:58, archived)
One of my pals has a Polish wife.
His father in law used to make moonshine in a massive jar out of berries and loads of sugar but he's banned from that now after one too many pissed festive fortnights.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:45, archived)
His father in law used to make moonshine in a massive jar out of berries and loads of sugar but he's banned from that now after one too many pissed festive fortnights.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:45, archived)
yer, that's traditional
You can buy 95β° Spirytus at most corner shops here if you want to knock up a batch. My wife has half a dozen bottles stewing with vanilla sticks in them for various culinary purposes.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:49, archived)
You can buy 95β° Spirytus at most corner shops here if you want to knock up a batch. My wife has half a dozen bottles stewing with vanilla sticks in them for various culinary purposes.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:49, archived)
I've got a gallon of isopropyl, might shove some vimto in that. I've seen everything I need to I reckon.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 21:17, archived)
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 21:17, archived)
Crisis averted - there is beer in the big beer fridge.
Special mong shout-out to FeldschlΓΆsschen for releasing regular and alcohol-free versions of their beer in virtually identical cans.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:29, archived)
Special mong shout-out to FeldschlΓΆsschen for releasing regular and alcohol-free versions of their beer in virtually identical cans.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:29, archived)
you know what?
you know fucking what?
i think i'm ready for christmas
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:53, archived)
you know fucking what?
i think i'm ready for christmas
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 20:53, archived)
not this year
kids aren't coming round again till after christmas and i'm not fond of biscuits and suchlike
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:46, archived)
kids aren't coming round again till after christmas and i'm not fond of biscuits and suchlike
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:46, archived)
These are mostly being used as gifts
where are the kids going on the day?
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:48, archived)
where are the kids going on the day?
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:48, archived)
they're staying at home
my parents are going to the indian and i'm off to my older sister's house. apparently, i have a goodie bag to pick up. then we're off to lancaster on boxing day while my niece does her shift at work
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:52, archived)
my parents are going to the indian and i'm off to my older sister's house. apparently, i have a goodie bag to pick up. then we're off to lancaster on boxing day while my niece does her shift at work
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:52, archived)
conned the parents into having a party
the spare room is already full of booze
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:11, archived)
the spare room is already full of booze
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:11, archived)
lots of spirits
jack daniels, smirnoff, gordon's, that kind of stuff. ton of cans, too, and everyone is bringing a bottle with them
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:32, archived)
jack daniels, smirnoff, gordon's, that kind of stuff. ton of cans, too, and everyone is bringing a bottle with them
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:32, archived)
sounds lovely.
I think I'll see how much port I can drink this year
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:36, archived)
I think I'll see how much port I can drink this year
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:36, archived)
my christmas traditional drink is hot chocolate on christmas morning
despite the fact i'm not overly fond of hot chocolate
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:02, archived)
despite the fact i'm not overly fond of hot chocolate
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:02, archived)
Slightly less than 15 quid iirc.
Their morgans spiced clone is about a tenner and fine for hot buttered rum.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:55, archived)
Their morgans spiced clone is about a tenner and fine for hot buttered rum.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:55, archived)
my nearest supermarket is lidl
so i buy a lot of booze there. you know it's a shit party if i'm only forking out for cardboardeaux
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:03, archived)
so i buy a lot of booze there. you know it's a shit party if i'm only forking out for cardboardeaux
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:03, archived)
I was pleasantly surprised by their Rioja.
Although my corkscrew didn't grip the synthetic cork properly and I had to poke it into the bottle with the handle of a wooden spoon.
I also bought some Duff beer from them purely because of the name.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:16, archived)
Although my corkscrew didn't grip the synthetic cork properly and I had to poke it into the bottle with the handle of a wooden spoon.
I also bought some Duff beer from them purely because of the name.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:16, archived)
i used to favour vodka
but it seems harsher somehow. nowadays, i stick to gin, white rum or, if i'm particularly poverty stricken, wine or cider
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:41, archived)
but it seems harsher somehow. nowadays, i stick to gin, white rum or, if i'm particularly poverty stricken, wine or cider
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:41, archived)
When I was a povvo stooodent I often drank 3 litres of frosty Jack's. The trick is to dump blackcurrant squash in it.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:54, archived)
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:54, archived)
will probably just order a takeaway and nail a couple of bottles of prosecco
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:44, archived)
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 15:44, archived)
Not yet.
There's some stollen in the kitchen but I haven't succumbed to the temptation yet.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:59, archived)
There's some stollen in the kitchen but I haven't succumbed to the temptation yet.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 16:59, archived)
Is Tw'Ats around? I'm in the fair city of Portsmouth!
All the buildings more than about a hundred years old are pretty cool and everything else is grim as fuck, lol.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:06, archived)
All the buildings more than about a hundred years old are pretty cool and everything else is grim as fuck, lol.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:06, archived)
I'm in the Aspire Lounge at Bristol Airport sipping a nice cold beer.
It's beginning to look a lot like I might be ready for Christmas!
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
It's beginning to look a lot like I might be ready for Christmas!
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
Mother in law's villa in Cyprus.
We're all supposed to be spending Christmas together but apparently she's fallen out with my wife and booked herself and my brother in law into a nearby hotel.
It's a Christmas miracle!
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:44, archived)
We're all supposed to be spending Christmas together but apparently she's fallen out with my wife and booked herself and my brother in law into a nearby hotel.
It's a Christmas miracle!
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:44, archived)
Now are you sure this is really happening and not the premise for a Jilly Cooper novel?
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 11:10, archived)
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 11:10, archived)
Lovely
Just had two weeks in Malta. Best way to beat the winter blues.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:39, archived)
Just had two weeks in Malta. Best way to beat the winter blues.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 14:39, archived)
I'm on my second breakfast beer. I don't feel particularly drunk but hopefully they'll start to kick in more once I'm at altitude.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:47, archived)
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:47, archived)
Fuck, this wifi is shit and everyone in the lounge is a prick. Are you allowed to do air rage when you're still in the airport?
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:53, archived)
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 10:53, archived)
Fucking hell, some pricks in tracksuits sat in the wrong seats and this is now everyone's problem
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 12:24, archived)
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 12:24, archived)
In Liberia with relations
probably getting high as fuck on jenkem
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 11:35, archived)
probably getting high as fuck on jenkem
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 11:35, archived)
I am waiting for a call
From someone who decided today is the day to buy Christmas booze. She tends to get I.D'd quite a lot and has no photo I.D so I have to buy it for her.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 12:54, archived)
From someone who decided today is the day to buy Christmas booze. She tends to get I.D'd quite a lot and has no photo I.D so I have to buy it for her.
( , Sat 23 Dec 2017, 12:54, archived)
normally I refuse to post whilst these motherfucking icons are on
but I am making an exception to say: fuck you.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 23:18, archived)
but I am making an exception to say: fuck you.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 23:18, archived)
These days Universities should offer degrees in how to get in and out of Tescos 2 days before xmas
I've got a Masters.
Anything you still need that you forgot to get so far?
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:34, archived)
I've got a Masters.
Anything you still need that you forgot to get so far?
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:34, archived)
it's a tradition with my family
full fry-up early on and christmas dinner about 3
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:58, archived)
full fry-up early on and christmas dinner about 3
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:58, archived)
I was going to do my food shop tomorrow.
Doing the Hairy Bikers' Lamb Vindaloo so I reckon I'll be alright for ingredients.
Need to get some booze in as well.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:36, archived)
Doing the Hairy Bikers' Lamb Vindaloo so I reckon I'll be alright for ingredients.
Need to get some booze in as well.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:36, archived)
I got a bottle of Canadian Club earlier. Goes well with ginger beer and ice.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:41, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:41, archived)
What that little known drink a high ball, mentioned in the book of alcoholics anonymous written in the 20s? Never heard of that
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:11, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 18:11, archived)
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
Uncle Billy lost his Willy, on the motorway, hey! lol
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 20:38, archived)
Uncle Billy lost his Willy, on the motorway, hey! lol
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 20:38, archived)
I've had a few winkles in my time , I enjoyed the skill of getting the winkle out, but I couldn't stand them, I gave my winkle to my grandad
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 21:19, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 21:19, archived)
well what a coincidence, I read it as tofu, too
I like tofu
tofu for christmas, that's the ticket
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:20, archived)
I like tofu
tofu for christmas, that's the ticket
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 17:20, archived)
8
www.watchuseek.com/quiz-watchuseeks-2017-year-end-news-quiz/
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 15:37, archived)
www.watchuseek.com/quiz-watchuseeks-2017-year-end-news-quiz/
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 15:37, archived)
Well done, surprised you got the swissness and rolex ones wrong, I clearly need to post more watch news
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 15:56, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 15:56, archived)
they very cleverly hid some beano-related answers in there
i dunno if you noticed
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:50, archived)
i dunno if you noticed
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 16:50, archived)
quiz of the year
www.bbc.co.uk/news/42440645
6/13 - chubby chaser
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:45, archived)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/42440645
6/13 - chubby chaser
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:45, archived)
I just did a fart and didn't have to wipe after
things are looking up
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:51, archived)
things are looking up
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 12:51, archived)
cashed mine out last week when it hit 17k
kicked myself when it went to 20k, but not so bitter now.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:13, archived)
kicked myself when it went to 20k, but not so bitter now.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:13, archived)
Lol at the sex chatline one, where they said that complaints went to 'the appropriately named Michael Ring'
My mind did not immediately jump to ring as in 'telephone'
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:13, archived)
My mind did not immediately jump to ring as in 'telephone'
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:13, archived)
One apprentice got thrown out of the college for smoking weed. But he was having a solid with Yvonne from HR so we reckon he'll be alright.
The other went home with Chanelle, the sort of orangey chav one from the hall staff.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:45, archived)
The other went home with Chanelle, the sort of orangey chav one from the hall staff.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 13:45, archived)
I left fairly early, but apparently after I went one of the porters tried to throw a few of the chefs out for being too drunk, and it kicked off in to a fight.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:04, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:04, archived)
I think they're just not used to the sort of drinking.
I'm certainly not. A couple beers, then champagne, then 3 different wines with dinner, then a dessert wine, then a port, then down to the bar for more beers/spirits. And they're all absolutely knecking wine at each course. I was bollocksed by 10.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
I'm certainly not. A couple beers, then champagne, then 3 different wines with dinner, then a dessert wine, then a port, then down to the bar for more beers/spirits. And they're all absolutely knecking wine at each course. I was bollocksed by 10.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:09, archived)
After a week of overwork, lack of sleep and being in the house on my own I think I've gone full Scrooge.
Better hope some ghosts come to sort me out or christmas is fucked.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:05, archived)
Better hope some ghosts come to sort me out or christmas is fucked.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 14:05, archived)
Hi Gays!!
So, what about them blue passports, eh?
What else will we be taking back after Brexit?
Is everybody New Year ready?
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:53, archived)
So, what about them blue passports, eh?
What else will we be taking back after Brexit?
Is everybody New Year ready?
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:53, archived)
Retro 70's style over substance
The Brexiteers can study them in detail whilst we wait in long Non-EU queues to get into countries.
Silly fucking pricks.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:57, archived)
The Brexiteers can study them in detail whilst we wait in long Non-EU queues to get into countries.
Silly fucking pricks.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:57, archived)
Maybe we'll bring back page 3 stunnas as well
phwoar eh lads eh?
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:01, archived)
phwoar eh lads eh?
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:01, archived)
Three day weeks, rationing, and those signs that say "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs".
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:04, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:04, archived)
someone brought us a selection box for the office
this is it today
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:12, archived)
this is it today
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:12, archived)
I have to side with Grrry here
Double Deckers are great, and deserve attention
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:41, archived)
Double Deckers are great, and deserve attention
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 11:41, archived)
Privet hedges, cricket on the village green, bluebell time in Kent.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:08, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:08, archived)
I've got a fuckload of I Shot JR t-shirts in my garage, ebay here I come
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:13, archived)
Apparently she's going to get us the brexit that the people wanted
I'm WELL looking forward to that Β£350m a week that the NHS are going to get.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
I'm WELL looking forward to that Β£350m a week that the NHS are going to get.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:14, archived)
Oh, the NHS has got its £350m each week,
but I've trousered the lot.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:15, archived)
but I've trousered the lot.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:15, archived)
Don't really do New Year.
It's the one night of the year that I'm virtually guaranteed to be in bed before midnight.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:17, archived)
It's the one night of the year that I'm virtually guaranteed to be in bed before midnight.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:17, archived)
Off the Florida Keys, there's a place called Kokomo
That's where you want to go to get away from it all
Bodies in the sand, tropical drink melting in your hand
We'll be falling in love to the rhythm of a steel drum band
Down in Kokomo
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:30, archived)
That's where you want to go to get away from it all
Bodies in the sand, tropical drink melting in your hand
We'll be falling in love to the rhythm of a steel drum band
Down in Kokomo
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:30, archived)
"Bodies in the sand"
Confirmed that Mike Love was a serial killer
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:40, archived)
Confirmed that Mike Love was a serial killer
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:40, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 10:51, archived)
good day to move your money into cryptocurrencies
Bitcoin fell 25% last night
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:42, archived)
Bitcoin fell 25% last night
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:42, archived)
it could fall to the 10k limit
but since all those futures got sold on big exchanges last week, and even Bloomberg added crypto to their terminals, there's some serious banking incentives to see it get back to the 18k mark. It's almost textbook.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
but since all those futures got sold on big exchanges last week, and even Bloomberg added crypto to their terminals, there's some serious banking incentives to see it get back to the 18k mark. It's almost textbook.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
The Long Island Ice Tea Company yesterday announced
it will now be the Long Island Blockchain Company.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:45, archived)
it will now be the Long Island Blockchain Company.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:45, archived)
K I've just bought a load of namecoins cos I prefer the idea of having 100 namecoins to 0.01 bitcoins
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
Litecoin's probably a good bet, after the Facebook announcement
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:47, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:47, archived)
Got rum for buttering and cider for mulling, last night,
but couldn't be bothered to prepare either. Sausage rolls to make today.
Are you ready for Christmas?
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:08, archived)
but couldn't be bothered to prepare either. Sausage rolls to make today.
Are you ready for Christmas?
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:08, archived)
my anus exploded all over the toilet today
I fear tomorrow's four-hour drive will be punctuated with regular stops
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:18, archived)
I fear tomorrow's four-hour drive will be punctuated with regular stops
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:18, archived)
Morning m8, getting in the cheery festive spirit with a bit of Sparklehorse!
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:37, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:37, archived)
This has just been suggested to me as a 'relevant to my interests' advert, not sure what they are getting at
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:42, archived)
I farking love Spiderland
You should check out The For Carnation.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
You should check out The For Carnation.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:46, archived)
I saw Slint a few years ago as well, one of those bands I thought I'd never get to see live. They were worth the 20 odd year wait.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:00, archived)
What ho!
It's a half day here. I hope to be on the 12.42 train back to the countryside for a nice fire and some half decent red.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:43, archived)
It's a half day here. I hope to be on the 12.42 train back to the countryside for a nice fire and some half decent red.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:43, archived)
The "leave early on Christmas eve" time has gradually slipped back at my place such that it's no longer worth not taking the day off.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:57, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 8:57, archived)
At our place they give you a half days leave back if you booked the whole day today. Same next Friday.
I got in at 8am. I will be away at 12.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:01, archived)
I got in at 8am. I will be away at 12.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:01, archived)
Yeah. It really is.
tbf we'd all go to the pub if we had to be here all day.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:08, archived)
tbf we'd all go to the pub if we had to be here all day.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:08, archived)
We used to get dismissed after Christmas lunch, too.
Then: stay in the pub or go home.
Now: back to work and expected to concentrate.
Bollocks.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:13, archived)
Then: stay in the pub or go home.
Now: back to work and expected to concentrate.
Bollocks.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:13, archived)
You want nonsense? I'll give you nonsense.
When my old company flew us to NY for a long weekend, we got back into Heathrow at 06:00 on the Monday, utterly knackered. They hired minibuses to ferry us back to the office just to make absolutely sure that no-one went home to sleep, and we got to sit in the office like zombies for eight hours, incapable of being even remotely productive.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:17, archived)
When my old company flew us to NY for a long weekend, we got back into Heathrow at 06:00 on the Monday, utterly knackered. They hired minibuses to ferry us back to the office just to make absolutely sure that no-one went home to sleep, and we got to sit in the office like zombies for eight hours, incapable of being even remotely productive.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:17, archived)
I know, right?
Most people on the jag saw precious little of NY as they were too busy participating in team-building sessions in stuffy meeting rooms.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:22, archived)
Most people on the jag saw precious little of NY as they were too busy participating in team-building sessions in stuffy meeting rooms.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:22, archived)
You were team building in an office in NY at the weekend?
Tsk, tsk.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:23, archived)
Tsk, tsk.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:23, archived)
I was one of the lucky few who actually got to go sightseeing.
It was three months after 9/11, though, so the city wasn't exactly in a festive mood.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:28, archived)
It was three months after 9/11, though, so the city wasn't exactly in a festive mood.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:28, archived)
I flew about 10 or 12 days after, to San Francisco.
I had an entire middle row to myself. Best economy flight ever.
Tragic circumstances obviously but I'll take them.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:32, archived)
I had an entire middle row to myself. Best economy flight ever.
Tragic circumstances obviously but I'll take them.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:32, archived)
Did anyone think to question why the trip to New York was even necessary?
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:32, archived)
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:32, archived)
Unofficially, everyone questioned it.
We were basically told that we had to go, though, and not to seem too ungrateful at such a magnanimous company. I did get to meet some nice colleagues, have some genuine New York pizza and witness the white upper-middle-class chairwoman of the company dancing to gangsta rap, which was teeth-pullingly cringeworthy.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
We were basically told that we had to go, though, and not to seem too ungrateful at such a magnanimous company. I did get to meet some nice colleagues, have some genuine New York pizza and witness the white upper-middle-class chairwoman of the company dancing to gangsta rap, which was teeth-pullingly cringeworthy.
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:43, archived)
Morning
Christmas starts in 4hrs 13 mins, I hope we're all ready
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:46, archived)
Christmas starts in 4hrs 13 mins, I hope we're all ready
( , Fri 22 Dec 2017, 9:46, archived)
I've done saink to my phone and it keeps trying to translate in to Maltese, like that's a real thing
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:33, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:33, archived)
I've got Emmerdale and a bag of hoola hoops, I'm living the dream Mongy.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:17, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 20:17, archived)
Oh shit, me too
Translate to Maltese. What the fuck is going on??
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 21:37, archived)
Translate to Maltese. What the fuck is going on??
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 21:37, archived)
This is a mongychops alright thread, please keep to the long standing t& C's, nobody needs to be banned at xmas
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:53, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:53, archived)
Get this round you.
www.mixcloud.com/worldwidefm/minou-11-12-17/
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 22:31, archived)
www.mixcloud.com/worldwidefm/minou-11-12-17/
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 22:31, archived)
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( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:29, archived)
m m
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( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:31, archived)
HEY WHAT'S UP GUYS THIS IS COLIN FROM SPHINCTER SIX PACK SHORTCUTS
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:21, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 19:21, archived)
Some of the stuff you can do with ASCII is pretty reem, let's be honest.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:41, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:41, archived)
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( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:43, archived)
One of my favourite simpsons moments
"Well maybe you should just marry Milhouse"
*gasp*
"That's right...we know about Milhouse"
You know what episode I mean, god damn it.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:28, archived)
"Well maybe you should just marry Milhouse"
*gasp*
"That's right...we know about Milhouse"
You know what episode I mean, god damn it.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:28, archived)
My favourite sports ball team won last night.
This may have caused me to engage in a period of alcoholic celebration.
Might go and buy a Milky Way in a bit. I'm a bit peckish.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:05, archived)
This may have caused me to engage in a period of alcoholic celebration.
Might go and buy a Milky Way in a bit. I'm a bit peckish.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:05, archived)
Brilliant.
In theory, you are scheduled to die from ignorance in the next 3 years.
What a Time to be alive!
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:21, archived)
In theory, you are scheduled to die from ignorance in the next 3 years.
What a Time to be alive!
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:21, archived)
\ ' /
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(_) (_) (_) \======(_)======/ (_) (_) (_)
(_) (_) (_)_____________(_)_____________(_) (_) (_)
(_) (_) \==============(_)==============/ (_) (_)
(_) (_)_____________________(_)_____________________(_) (_)
(_) \======================(_)======================/ (_)
(_)_____________________________(_)_____________________________(_)
\==============================(_)==============================/
__(_)__
__(=HAPPY=)__
(===HANUKKAH==)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 16:39, archived)
Hi Mark.
The Poundland account has not been hacked. I am sorry that you feel this way and will share your feedback. Thanks, Zoe
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 17:06, archived)
The Poundland account has not been hacked. I am sorry that you feel this way and will share your feedback. Thanks, Zoe
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 17:06, archived)
Ffs some cunt's called the police about it.
mobile.twitter.com/feistywomankent/status/943865109058871296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fd-40911565572390674635.ampproject.net%2F1513806763233%2Fframe.html
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 18:35, archived)
mobile.twitter.com/feistywomankent/status/943865109058871296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fd-40911565572390674635.ampproject.net%2F1513806763233%2Fframe.html
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 18:35, archived)
Fucking lol at Damian Green being sacked for having 'extreme porn' on his work computer.
Looks like Chancellor May didn't appreciate him viewing Wheatfield Sluts VII during office hours.
I'm going to a vernissage this evening. What are you doing?
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:32, archived)
Looks like Chancellor May didn't appreciate him viewing Wheatfield Sluts VII during office hours.
I'm going to a vernissage this evening. What are you doing?
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:32, archived)
picking my nose
can't decide whether to roll and flick them or just wipe them on the furniture
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:39, archived)
can't decide whether to roll and flick them or just wipe them on the furniture
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:39, archived)
but if you lick it it goes all gooey and then when you flick it it sticks to your other nail
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:46, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:46, archived)
If only he was just honest
About liking a good old tug once in a while, rather than acting like a prude he would have just got a slap on the wrist and it would have gone away.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:45, archived)
About liking a good old tug once in a while, rather than acting like a prude he would have just got a slap on the wrist and it would have gone away.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:45, archived)
Exactly.
Not to mention the fact that these are the hypocritical nanny state cunts who banned pornography involving female ejaculation, fisting and I can't remember what else. Bunch of senile old morons.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:46, archived)
Not to mention the fact that these are the hypocritical nanny state cunts who banned pornography involving female ejaculation, fisting and I can't remember what else. Bunch of senile old morons.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:46, archived)
so he had porn on his PC in 2008 and lied about it, back when he was in opposition
and the lie caught up with him now? 9 years later, when he's part of the cabinet?
Corbyn's fault.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:52, archived)
and the lie caught up with him now? 9 years later, when he's part of the cabinet?
Corbyn's fault.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:52, archived)
David Davies said he'd resign if this guy was sacked
And the crazy thing is, that isn't the worst lie that dickwad has dropped this year.
Why isn't the rest of the cabinet not up in arms? He is a staunch remainer, otherwise Rees Mogg would be out there gobbling airtime like a cunty pacman
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:57, archived)
And the crazy thing is, that isn't the worst lie that dickwad has dropped this year.
Why isn't the rest of the cabinet not up in arms? He is a staunch remainer, otherwise Rees Mogg would be out there gobbling airtime like a cunty pacman
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:57, archived)
Waiting for David Davis to resign.
Google tells me "vernissage" is "varnishing", so I assume your tarting up your furniture ahead of having Christmas visitors.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:54, archived)
Google tells me "vernissage" is "varnishing", so I assume your tarting up your furniture ahead of having Christmas visitors.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:54, archived)
Oh yeah, totally polishing all the brass knobs over here, he'.
It's like a sneak preview opening of an art exhibition, where you usually get to meet the artist and have nibbles and champagne and stuff.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:59, archived)
It's like a sneak preview opening of an art exhibition, where you usually get to meet the artist and have nibbles and champagne and stuff.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 12:59, archived)
It's all a bit Nathan Barley, most of the time,
but the art looks decent for this one (the theme is 'space exploration') and it's better than contemplating my navel of a Thursday night.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:05, archived)
but the art looks decent for this one (the theme is 'space exploration') and it's better than contemplating my navel of a Thursday night.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:05, archived)
Those can be vicious alright.
I've come to the conclusion that, despite tonic's quinine content, it's not substantial enough to cushion the effects of the raw gin.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:38, archived)
I've come to the conclusion that, despite tonic's quinine content, it's not substantial enough to cushion the effects of the raw gin.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:38, archived)
I've got the staff dinner tonight. 3 courses of fancy food and proper fancy wine.
Followed by me teaching the apprentices how to strawpedo wkd blues in the college bar.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:48, archived)
Followed by me teaching the apprentices how to strawpedo wkd blues in the college bar.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:48, archived)
Ah, there's lovely.
Do they still bang the gavel at High Table so one of the scholars says grace?
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:55, archived)
Do they still bang the gavel at High Table so one of the scholars says grace?
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:55, archived)
Yeah, but it'll be the warden to say Grace.
And as it's a staff do the high table will be empty and the fellows will sit on the low tables to show we're all equal.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:29, archived)
And as it's a staff do the high table will be empty and the fellows will sit on the low tables to show we're all equal.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:29, archived)
Makes sense.
No need to lord it up when there are no filthy students around.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:32, archived)
No need to lord it up when there are no filthy students around.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:32, archived)
I´ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:59, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 13:59, archived)
It's watered-down-cocktail-drinkers like you that give the bar culture a bad name.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:00, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:00, archived)
Finally got round to googling what a 'Millenial' is and discovered that I am one.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:14, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:14, archived)
seems contrived to me
you and I are the same age, and I was always told I'm a Gen Xer. I own property, I got a job out of university, I've never owned an iPhone and I don't like avocados. I'm not Millennial in the slightest.
And all the Millennials whinging about Boomers seem to have forgotten that 99% of boomers are either retired or dead by now, and it's Gen X causing all the perceived problems.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:27, archived)
you and I are the same age, and I was always told I'm a Gen Xer. I own property, I got a job out of university, I've never owned an iPhone and I don't like avocados. I'm not Millennial in the slightest.
And all the Millennials whinging about Boomers seem to have forgotten that 99% of boomers are either retired or dead by now, and it's Gen X causing all the perceived problems.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:27, archived)
Here we are:
"The United Kingdom's Economic and Social Research Council described Generation X as "Thatcher's children" because the cohort grew up while Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990"
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:31, archived)
"The United Kingdom's Economic and Social Research Council described Generation X as "Thatcher's children" because the cohort grew up while Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990"
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:31, archived)
Yeah, but you must of been 5 or saink in 1990, don't think that makes you generation X
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:12, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:12, archived)
From wikipedia it appears to be an age thing rather than a lifestyle choice.
I always thought that millenials were pricks. Then again I always thought that generation X were bigger pricks and the baby boomers are the biggest pricks of all.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:39, archived)
I always thought that millenials were pricks. Then again I always thought that generation X were bigger pricks and the baby boomers are the biggest pricks of all.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:39, archived)
I've seen starting dates from 1980 up to 1986
I'm going on the basis that if you remember life before 9/11, you're not a millennial.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:41, archived)
I'm going on the basis that if you remember life before 9/11, you're not a millennial.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 14:41, archived)
World has gone crazy, we're sacking people for looking at porn whilst the BBC is promoting utterly bent stuff like this
www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-42441695/kaci-sullivan-i-gave-birth-as-both-genders
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:25, archived)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-42441695/kaci-sullivan-i-gave-birth-as-both-genders
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:25, archived)
I seem to remember reading about this case when s/he had stopped the hormones in order to fall pregnant.
Anyone else remember that song Paul Daniels did once about his family tree, where he ended up being his own grandmother?
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:34, archived)
Anyone else remember that song Paul Daniels did once about his family tree, where he ended up being his own grandmother?
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 15:34, archived)
Just gearing up for another cheery day with a bit of songs: ohia
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:49, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:49, archived)
By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you've achieved - and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses - you actually can enhance everything about you.
Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:44, archived)
Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:44, archived)
And so I wait. I wait for time to heal the pain and raise me to me feet once again - so that I can start a new path, my own path, the one that will make me whole again.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:47, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:47, archived)
To conceal anything from those to whom I am attached, is not in my nature.
I can never close my lips where I have opened my heart m8.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:50, archived)
I can never close my lips where I have opened my heart m8.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:50, archived)
Each day is an adventure in discovering the meaning of life.
It is each little thing that you do that day - whether it be spending time with your friends, running in a cross-country meet or just simply staring at the crashing ocean- that holds the key to discovering the meaning of life.
I would rather be out enjoying these things than pondering them. We may never really discover the meaning of life, but the knowledge we gain in our quest to discover it is truly more valuable.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:51, archived)
It is each little thing that you do that day - whether it be spending time with your friends, running in a cross-country meet or just simply staring at the crashing ocean- that holds the key to discovering the meaning of life.
I would rather be out enjoying these things than pondering them. We may never really discover the meaning of life, but the knowledge we gain in our quest to discover it is truly more valuable.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 9:51, archived)
First day of my Christmas holidays, today.
Or should that be "holly-day"? Hahahahahaha!
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:48, archived)
Or should that be "holly-day"? Hahahahahaha!
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:48, archived)
I haven't seen any holly in yonks
but a lot of my neighbours climb the local sycamores to plunder the mistletoe at this time of year
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:51, archived)
but a lot of my neighbours climb the local sycamores to plunder the mistletoe at this time of year
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 7:51, archived)
If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape ?
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:15, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:15, archived)
Morning.
I've just washed my coffee mug and now it's bubbling very slightly. What does this mean?
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:10, archived)
I've just washed my coffee mug and now it's bubbling very slightly. What does this mean?
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:10, archived)
welcome to the world of soap
if you use it regularly you might find it easier to get a girlfriend
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:11, archived)
if you use it regularly you might find it easier to get a girlfriend
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:11, archived)
the gloss surface has come off the ceramic and it's reacting to water, probably not suitable for drinks any more, better throw it away
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:15, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:15, archived)
Feck.
I was afraid it was going to be something like that; the ceramic equivalent of a slow puncture.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:22, archived)
I was afraid it was going to be something like that; the ceramic equivalent of a slow puncture.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:22, archived)
they were both stuffed in an old cupboard by his landlord when he moved in?
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:36, archived)
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:36, archived)
OK, I'm sending round a team to kidnap you and keep you prisoner in a cosy Swiss chalet for a week
so you can actually get some sleep.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:55, archived)
so you can actually get some sleep.
( , Thu 21 Dec 2017, 8:55, archived)
Don't worry, Guys. Ed Milliband haz dun a quiz for the afternoon.
www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2017/dec/20/ed-milibands-pub-quiz-of-2017
( , Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:39, archived)
www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2017/dec/20/ed-milibands-pub-quiz-of-2017
( , Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:39, archived)
Ed Miliband quotes:
I don't believe in God personally but I have great respect for those people who do and different people have different religious views in this country.
The most important lesson of New Labour is this: Every time we made progress we did it by challenging the conventional wisdom.
I suppose not everyone has a dad who wrote a book saying he didn't believe in the Parliamentary road to socialism.
Foot wanks are the future of this country.
( , Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:50, archived)
I don't believe in God personally but I have great respect for those people who do and different people have different religious views in this country.
The most important lesson of New Labour is this: Every time we made progress we did it by challenging the conventional wisdom.
I suppose not everyone has a dad who wrote a book saying he didn't believe in the Parliamentary road to socialism.
Foot wanks are the future of this country.
( , Wed 20 Dec 2017, 15:50, archived)
Still, I scored 8 on "red" Ed's quiz, mostly by picking answers at random.
( , Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:24, archived)
( , Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:24, archived)
78.media.tumblr.com/effdd4211c9c3335f6cd5024188c8c2a/tumblr_n8axs1kswH1s52q75o1_540.jpg
( , Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:36, archived)
I hate quizzes
I either know all the answers, making it pointless playing...or I don't know any of them, so I have to guess. Again, pointless.
( , Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:42, archived)
I either know all the answers, making it pointless playing...or I don't know any of them, so I have to guess. Again, pointless.
( , Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:42, archived)
We haven't even got decorations up this year. Not even bothered.
Come and have a hug, big man.
( , Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:50, archived)
Come and have a hug, big man.
( , Wed 20 Dec 2017, 16:50, archived)
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