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morning

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 7:37, archived)
alright

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 7:44, archived)
wotcha

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 7:52, archived)
Tuesday
Morning
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 7:56, archived)
very observant

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:15, archived)
morning

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 7:56, archived)
how's tricks McB?

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:15, archived)
McB's tricks are standing on the corner, hustlin' dolla bills

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:19, archived)
Not too bad ta
I still have a job, for now at least
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:20, archived)
Get the Treasury on the phone.
Tell them they have the budget to go ahead with Trident's replacement.
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:33, archived)
lol job

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:41, archived)
Any news on the old job security front?

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:20, archived)
We paid out a large sum to the warehouse cunts yesterday so should be trading again today
Longer term prospects are less rosy and will need some creative thinking - boss has a couple of good ideas but we shall see.
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:21, archived)
Cautious thumbs-up then.

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:24, archived)
That's what his boss wants.

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:31, archived)
ewww

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:42, archived)
Throwing caution to the wind
in a most unusual way
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:52, archived)
vg

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:56, archived)
does it involve a honey trap and photographic evidence?

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:31, archived)
Mornin'. It's the most depressing day of the year
according to the "so-called-experts"
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 7:57, archived)
No, that was the 15th.
FACT!
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:06, archived)
Why did BBC Radio 4 tell me to be depressed this morning then?

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:13, archived)
Because they are all overpaid liberal ponces.

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:23, archived)
John Humpries is not a liberal ponce

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:43, archived)
because they know about your botched bathroom

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:23, archived)
Hey
no more leaks and it looks great*!

*from a distance of about 2m**.

**that's just outside the bathroom.
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:43, archived)
pretty sure it's the third monday of the year
so shove that up your so-called experts
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:16, archived)
My god
Gove was right!
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:52, archived)
No it really isn't
the expert that started all of this was asked by Sky Travel to do a bit of PR and marketing about finding the worst day of the year and ever since then fucking thing gets wheeled out every January.
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:43, archived)
Looks like you're on the way to turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy tho

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:53, archived)
I'm depressed people believe that shit

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:03, archived)
it's for these lightweight losers who aren't just depressed every day

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:07, archived)
If you're not hating your life daily
you're not doing it right
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:12, archived)
Ahoy, landlubbers.

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:06, archived)
arrrrrr

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:13, archived)
land blubbers, more like!

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:16, archived)
Speak for yourself, Charlie Chunk.

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:19, archived)
*pats reasonably svelte gut*
this is fine.
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:44, archived)
And the whale was in full view

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:13, archived)
Talking about my peanus?
If I can see it looking down all is fine.
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:20, archived)
Not fine, because it means you've got a semi after looking at a load of grey stripes

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:25, archived)
Even though all you see is blonde, brunette, redhead

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:26, archived)
It's called a sperm whale for a reason

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:29, archived)
Morning.

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:06, archived)
yes yes we've already established that

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:16, archived)
wasn't morning yesterday?

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:17, archived)
in this happy plane of existence
it's morning EVERY DAY!
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:31, archived)
in b4 tangles

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:33, archived)
damnit

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:42, archived)
he's so tardy

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:48, archived)
in b4 $$ says in b4 tangles

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:42, archived)
you've got del-AIDS

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:48, archived)
morning

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:44, archived)
alright mano

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 8:48, archived)
#halfleft

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:23, archived)
Morning

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:27, archived)
word up SM

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:42, archived)
What what?

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:27, archived)
^ is the devil, biatch

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:29, archived)
in the butt, like a bent

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:42, archived)
Late, again.

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:31, archived)
Get down and give me twenty

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:36, archived)
pervert

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:36, archived)
Like YM.

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:37, archived)
She is quite tardy.

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:02, archived)
i wish you were the late monster munch

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:43, archived)
alright 'Aladdin'

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:57, archived)
Alright, Slartibartfast

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:58, archived)
alright 'skee-lo'

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:13, archived)
morning bumholes

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 9:57, archived)
alright 'Great Bumholio'

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:01, archived)
Keep spending most our lives
Livin in a bumhole's paradise
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:11, archived)
ok

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:00, archived)

i.redd.it/l3awsg0n8qb01.jpg
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:08, archived)
so romantic

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:09, archived)
Is that Maisie Williams?

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:26, archived)
No
the giveaway is that it doesn't look anything like Maisie Williams
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:30, archived)
I meant the girl on the right.

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:37, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xfa075Mjw4
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:11, archived)
Last

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:14, archived)

"A last is a mechanical form that has a shape similar to that of a human foot.
It is used by shoemakers and cordwainers in the manufacture and repair of shoes. Lasts typically come in pairs and have been made from various materials, including hardwoods, cast iron, and high-density plastics"
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:16, archived)
Finally, I've learnt something from this website

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:18, archived)

"A list is a record of short pieces of information, for example people's names.
Lists are usually written or printed with a single thing on each line and often ordered in a way that makes a particular thing easy to find"
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:18, archived)
Knew dis

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:23, archived)
The first generation of British merchant navy ships were designed based on military frigates
with their hulls widened and squared off at the stern to allow them to carry a greater cargo tonnage. Because the sweep of a frigate's hull was designed to spread the weight of the cannon batteries located along the length of both sides of the ship, however, its balance profile was ill-suited to cargo placed centrally and even on the fo'c'sle, which often resulted in the prows of fully-laden ships dipping forwards. To counteract this, sailors, known to be men of generous nutsacks, would lower themselves from the stern and dip their balls into the ship's wake. The weight displacement, coupled with the downward eddies created by their balls in the water, would redress the prow and allow the ship to be steered safely. The cry of "Ball astern!" to order this practice gradually became shortened over time and is the root of the modern word 'ballast'.
(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:33, archived)
lol

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:48, archived)
Laster

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:23, archived)
lastest

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:28, archived)
The Last House on the Left

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:35, archived)
pricks

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:36, archived)
Last & Furious 9

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:39, archived)
Last Times At Ridgmont High

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 10:46, archived)
would you mind telling me an interesting fact, or a dull fact, preferably a dull fact please, dull dull, dull

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:17, archived)
everyone dies at the end
and the popcorn is stale
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:18, archived)
both factual, interesting, and dull
thanks artifus
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:21, archived)
try the odeon instead
at least they have comfy seats x
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:26, archived)
xoxoxoxox

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:26, archived)
The world's most popular bicycle component manufacturer has a comprehensive online resource detailing cross-compatibility over the last 14 years' worth of parts.
Dull or possibly interesting if you like that sort of thing.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:30, archived)
Lego was invented in the UK
www.inverso.pt/legos/clones/texts/kiddicraft.htm
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:37, archived)
I miss Richard's hippetty hop biography of the day

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:38, archived)
Do you?
Do you really?
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:40, archived)
Kiddicraft didn't have the recessed tubes on the underside
so the blocks didn't click together, they just stacked. The slightest nudge would knock them over and they'd all fall apart. They were rubbish.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:42, archived)
The American Robin is not actually a robin

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:43, archived)
it's actually a motortrike in a fibreglass body

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 22:06, archived)
I found a typo on page 23 of the 2006-7 line-up chart

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:44, archived)
"Center" is the US spelling

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:46, archived)
pfffffffft

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:49, archived)
Slow-worms are probably the longest living reptile

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:47, archived)
no that's just how it feels to them

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:49, archived)
The Russian Central House of Chess (also known as the Moscow Botvinnik Central Chess Club), is a prime example of an "old style" Chess Centre that revolves around chess club-style activities for adults and elite junior players
(i.e. mainly just tournaments), and which regularly run at a financial loss, usually propped up through government or philanthropic sponsorship.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:52, archived)
I hear that club has a chequered past

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:53, archived)
Mr. Needlemouse was a name given to several prototypes of the character Sonic the Hedgehog on an early concept art sheet by his designer Naoto Ohshima.
The name is an alternative translation of "Mr. Hedgehog", as needlemouse is a literal translation of the Japanese word for hedgehog (ハリネズミ, harinezumi).
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 22:17, archived)
Noddy Holder from Slade controls the faggot supply

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 22:26, archived)
BMW, being a german manufacturer, use metric bolts for all fastenings in their vehicles
except the seat belt bolts, which are imperial sizing for some bizarre fucking reason.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:40, archived)
That's possibly the dullest thing I know

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:41, archived)
surely not

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:44, archived)
American patents?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:42, archived)
Volvo invented seat belts and chose not to copyright them so that the technology could be universally adopted.
That's slightly less dull
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:43, archived)
well fuck, that's my clever theory blown out of the water
"Sweden adopted the metric system in 1889"
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:46, archived)
I'm off now but thanks for replying, remember you are alright,
and everything you've done and been and are is alright, even that stuff that you think isn't, even that is probably alright too, really, if you stand far enough back
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 21:56, archived)
It's like resolution from all my victims, thx vlad

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 22:23, archived)
Half-Life 3 announced.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 22:06, archived)
fake news

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 0:28, archived)
there is no I in we

(, Tue 23 Jan 2018, 0:27, archived)
what's up, biche'z?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:45, archived)
Shizzle my nizzle

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:50, archived)
garrold.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:58, archived)
disgusting

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 19:09, archived)
Juicer time innit

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:53, archived)
Was planning on a night off.
Plans change.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:57, archived)
I like to get out for a bit

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 17:42, archived)
fuck u jus call me bish?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:55, archived)
u herd

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:58, archived)

bish?
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 18:25, archived)
ol jelly belly!

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 18:25, archived)
blimey is he still alive?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 19:11, archived)
i dunno
pretty sure the gif would exist either way
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 19:44, archived)

bish.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 20:57, archived)
stressing m8
stressing
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 17:09, archived)
all will come good, don't fret

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 17:12, archived)
You'll get the hang of it

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 17:40, archived)
it's easier with a bigger board

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 17:58, archived)
I've got some scaffold boards on top of my shed

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 19:34, archived)
consider the lily

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 18:18, archived)
I am nobody's bitch.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 17:40, archived)

bo d
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 19:04, archived)
yet!

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 19:10, archived)
Promises, promises...

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 19:27, archived)
+i

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 20:17, archived)
lol the ceiling
lol
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 18:17, archived)
Lol

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 18:55, archived)
Lol

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 19:43, archived)
lol, that's mofaha's dog's name'

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 20:34, archived)
Is that "biche'z" as in "ma biche"?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 19:24, archived)
Non

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 19:43, archived)

LLLLLLLLLLL                  OOOOOOOOO     LLLLLLLLLLL             
L:::::::::L OO:::::::::OO L:::::::::L
L:::::::::L OO:::::::::::::OO L:::::::::L
LL:::::::LL O:::::::OOO:::::::OLL:::::::LL
L:::::L O::::::O O::::::O L:::::L
L:::::L O:::::O O:::::O L:::::L
L:::::L O:::::O O:::::O L:::::L
L:::::L O:::::O O:::::O L:::::L
L:::::L O:::::O O:::::O L:::::L
L:::::L O:::::O O:::::O L:::::L
L:::::L O:::::O O:::::O L:::::L
L:::::L LLLLLLO::::::O O::::::O L:::::L LLLLLL
LL:::::::LLLLLLLLL:::::LO:::::::OOO:::::::OLL:::::::LLLLLLLLL:::::L
L::::::::::::::::::::::L OO:::::::::::::OO L::::::::::::::::::::::L
L::::::::::::::::::::::L OO:::::::::OO L::::::::::::::::::::::L
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OOOOOOOOO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:40, archived)
shit kerning

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:44, archived)


.-. .----. .-.
| | / {} \| |
| `--.\ /| `--.
`----' `----' `----'

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:45, archived)
3===============================================>~~~~~ O-:

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:47, archived)
LOL indeed

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:47, archived)


▂▂╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
╲▂┈╭╮┈┈╭━━╮╭╮┈┈▕
┈┈▏┃┃┈┈┃╭╮┃┃┃┈┈▕
┈┈▏┃╰━╮┃╰╯┃┃╰━╮▕
┈┈▏╰━━╯╰━━╯╰━━╯▕
┈┈╲▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂╱
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:50, archived)


_,.---._
_.-. ,-.' , - `. _.-.
.-,.'| /==/_, , - \ .-,.'|
|==|, | |==| .=. | |==|, |
|==|- | |==|_ : ;=: - | |==|- |
|==|, | |==| , '=' | |==|, |
|==|- `-._ \==\ - ,_ / |==|- `-._
/==/ - , ,/ '.='. - .' /==/ - , ,/
`--`-----' `--`--'' `--`-----'

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:52, archived)


─────██────────████────██─
─────█────────██──██───█──
────██──────██────██──██──
────█───────██────██──█───
───██──────██────██──██───
───█──────██─────█───█────
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──██─███──██──██────██─███
─████─────████─────████───

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:53, archived)


.----------------. .----------------. .----------------.
| .--------------. || .--------------. || .--------------. |
| | _____ | || | ____ | || | _____ | |
| | |_ _| | || | .' `. | || | |_ _| | |
| | | | | || | / .--. \ | || | | | | |
| | | | _ | || | | | | | | || | | | _ | |
| | _| |__/ | | || | \ `--' / | || | _| |__/ | | |
| | |________| | || | `.____.' | || | |________| | |
| | | || | | || | | |
| '--------------' || '--------------' || '--------------' |
'----------------' '----------------' '----------------'

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:03, archived)

www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/25546#post25555
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:59, archived)

http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/25546#post25555 lol
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:00, archived)
This is dumb for even your Talk/efforts
Show some respect to those who still have some time and love this place. If you don't like it then stop whining and feck off and leave us alone from your childish pranks.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:06, archived)
lots of love to you too xxx

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:07, archived)
It stands for 'little old lady' m8

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:07, archived)
Alright chorlton

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:08, archived)
chorlton was lolling before any of us

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:10, archived)
He certainly was
youtu.be/D0xZh2Uf5v0
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:17, archived)
so glad i'm not the only one whose mind instantly went there

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:17, archived)
little old lady who?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:20, archived)
calm down Shipman

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:22, archived)
nananananananananananananananana SHIPMAAAAAAAANNN!!!

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:29, archived)
Holy geriatricide, Shipman!

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:39, archived)
to the deathmobile!

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:45, archived)

here you are!
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:51, archived)
see, if i could drive, i'd have one of those

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:03, archived)
7.7l V8, good for 11mpg.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:05, archived)
practical, too
plenty of storage space and you could hire it out to people who need to move couches or beds
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:11, archived)

and hire it out to people who need to move couches or beds for 4 proton packs
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:27, archived)
a valid point

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:34, archived)
Why on earth would you need that much power for slowly driving to funerals?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:14, archived)
Fat corpses

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:18, archived)
I suppose it is American

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 17:20, archived)
drag racing, obviously

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:18, archived)
or for getting me home fast
which is where i'm going right now
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:34, archived)
LoL
Looks a lot like what you've written at first glance, but if you look closely you'll notice that I've written it backwards.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:15, archived)
707

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:32, archived)
5318008

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:50, archived)
I've hurt my neck trying to read that upside-down

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:15, archived)
this is no laughing matter

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:23, archived)
I agree

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:26, archived)
alright 'dracula'

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 18:41, archived)

imgur.com/gallery/wliGR
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:32, archived)
Oh two hats

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:34, archived)
he's trying new things
bless him
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:42, archived)
rude

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 16:51, archived)
My good headphones just broke, and I don't even know how. One side snapped clean off
What's broken in your life, and how angry did it make you feel?
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 11:53, archived)
my hymen
I was so upset with my uncle
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 11:55, archived)
wind

lol
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 11:56, archived)
lol
parp

lol
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 11:57, archived)
lol

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:16, archived)
lol

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:26, archived)
lol guffs!

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:17, archived)
lol

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:26, archived)
mind your own business

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 11:57, archived)
fuck him up

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:16, archived)
what is with this 'tude m8?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:17, archived)
my spirit and now I can no longer feel anger

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 11:57, archived)

rit ne
anger below my waist
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:18, archived)
my achey breakey heart
i just don't think you understand
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 11:59, archived)
billy ray NOMATES, more like

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:18, archived)
My headphones keep falling apart,
but I keep on putting them back together, rather than spending a tenner on replacement set.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:10, archived)
these ones are only worth about 40 quid
but I'm rather fond of them
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:19, archived)
It's because you listen too hard with one of your ears
causing an imbalance on the head-band.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:19, archived)
I've put gaffer tape on that side now
gaffer tape's well-ard
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:57, archived)
My exercise routine.
All these New Year's resolution wannabes have been hitting the gym for the past month, never to return, and I haven't been since before Christmas. It's crap, I tell you.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:19, archived)
Eh?
You mean they go for january only?
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:36, archived)
It's a well-known gym phenomenon.
People make a resolution to lose weight, sign up at the gym and manage to stay motivated for about a month. After that, they go back to eating crisps on the couch while watching telly.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:41, archived)
it's like tennis club signups in the weeks after Wimbledon
Huge spike then it all tails off
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:58, archived)
At which point the clubs are laughing, because they've got your yearly subscription money by then.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:00, archived)
I bet you've got pink ankle warmers

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:57, archived)
You know I have. I tied your wrists to the bed with them last time, remember?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:01, archived)
no m8

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:04, archived)
Isn't rohypnol marvellous?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:53, archived)
He told me he'd done ket before.
Trust is all-important in this kind of scenario.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:02, archived)
Being trussed you mean?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:31, archived)
You'd think someone with a Grindr handle of 'TurkeyBoi' would know the ropes by now.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:33, archived)
That's his vanilla one too
you should see the pics on Recon. Calls himself "The Human TARDIS"
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:02, archived)
I'm in a really bad mood

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:22, archived)

mood band

lol
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:27, archived)
:(

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:35, archived)
so would I be, with a face like that

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:58, archived)
Is it that time of the month?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:38, archived)
morning
as angry as a blackbird
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:32, archived)
more powerful than a brio big red

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:32, archived)
The expression these days is "woman of colour" m8.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:36, archived)
as woman of colour as a blackbird are we led it off the road

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:40, archived)
Cf. Nelly Furtado and "I'm, like, a bird."
Well, obviously, love.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:44, archived)
Haven't got any broken stuff, soz

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:38, archived)
any money in broken watches?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:04, archived)
No just springs and gears, oh ahaha.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:09, archived)
Not unless you need spares for a fixer

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:11, archived)
Not broken
But I sneezed this morning and pulled a muscle in my neck.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 12:59, archived)
as long as it was your neck and not someone else's

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:38, archived)
not sure i've hurt anyone else's neck
but i've broken someone else's nose
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:47, archived)
A decent set here at a good price
bit.ly/2DBZBzS
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:10, archived)
Funnily enough I'm buying them for a mate this eve

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:17, archived)
that's a really good deal, cheers
aren't they a bit unt-tiss though?
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:30, archived)
You're a bit cunt-piss m8

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:49, archived)
£45 million quid payout wanted by the old ginge
Ho ho ho. She'll get a hell of a lot less.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:15, archived)
Liz must be royally chuffed to see that vulgarian in the news again.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:31, archived)
she has this mental aunt look about her

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:33, archived)
I wonder how much she charges for toe-sucking

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:35, archived)
Alright, David Mellor.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:09, archived)
I put on my chelsea shirt and hat

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:16, archived)
^ bloodninja

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:18, archived)
I ordered 4 230mm fans as part of my project to build a greenhouse heater / altcoin farm using a portable DJ rack as a waterproof case.
Plugged them in last night to test and one of the blades immediately caught in a cable and snapped off.
I've tried glueing it back on but it's wonky now
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:35, archived)
"Altcoin farm", eh?
You're allowed to tell us you're growing pot, m8; we won't think any less of you.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:38, archived)
you always buy one extra as a spare m8
you should know that by now.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 13:38, archived)
What?
you're talking gibberish, man.

Now, tell me, what's wrong with my thumb?
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:34, archived)
DIAGNOSIS: Gamekeeper's thumb
TREATMENT ADVICE: Relax your wanking grip

You're welcome
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 14:35, archived)
What if my clients don't like this new approach?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 15:15, archived)
Alright helmet lovers
Still waiting to hear from my solicitor about the fucking bank. Time's ticking and ol' TH is getting nervous.

What's ticking and making YOU feel certain emotions in YOUR life? You fucken prick.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:01, archived)

youtu.be/be7iNHw8QoQ
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:07, archived)
You know what, I enjoyed that

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:09, archived)
you're probably not completely dead inside

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:17, archived)
Well, when he listened to Anthrax, they say
TH's heart grew three sizes that day
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:18, archived)
which is actually a very serious medical condition

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:19, archived)
you have literally minutes left

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:22, archived)
better listen to some more anthrax, I suppose

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:23, archived)
no u

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:09, archived)
Oi, wind your neck in, yeah?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:09, archived)
RIGHT THAT'S IT

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:13, archived)
look, we can work this out

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:15, archived)
I've had enough of this shit

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:31, archived)
Have you tried passing Go?
The bank always gives me £200 when I do that.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:09, archived)
Well I AM sat in a giant boot

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:10, archived)
Our current monopoly set is Pokémon themed.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:16, archived)
Christ
but then I can't talk. The one we use is not just Star Wars themed...it's the Phantom Menace.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:17, archived)
I bet the kids fight over being Jar Jar or Anakin.
We've also got a Minion themed set, but it's a very simplified version of the game, designed for little kids, and so has the advantage that games rarely last beyond 20 minutes.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:21, archived)
We had a junior monopoly
but playing the proper version with simplified rules was a lot more fun
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:22, archived)
I like the "game over at the first bankruptcy" rule,
as all our games seem to end with someone throwing a strop at that point, anyway.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:24, archived)
just try your best and be yourself x

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:13, archived)
you just touched my heart, m8 x

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:15, archived)

heart penus
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:15, archived)
sometimes that's enough

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:16, archived)
Two Hats' penus is never enough.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:30, archived)
Ball so hard) ball so hard, got a broken clock, rollies that don't tick tock. audemars that's losing time, hidden behind all these big rocks

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:17, archived)
hadn't thought of it that way

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:19, archived)
We've got problems with the new lift shaft.
Need some 3 core FP.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:18, archived)
lol shaft

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:19, archived)
They say this cat is a bad mother...

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:23, archived)
Shut your mouth

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:24, archived)
seconded

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:24, archived)

😖
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:26, archived)
Living on a thin line,
Tell me now, what are we supposed to do?
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:18, archived)
fuck it off, I reckon

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:19, archived)
this acme bomb that a road runner just left on my desk

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:23, archived)
*holds up sign saying 'eep'*

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:25, archived)
My heart m8
It beats 4 u
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:25, archived)
💖

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:26, archived)
You fucked that up

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:27, archived)
or did I?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:28, archived)
Nah, you did

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:28, archived)
Tell the bank to get it sorted or you'll send the boys round.
The joy of working for two tightly-wound right-wing harridans is what keeps me going on a daily basis, so certain emotions are definitely being felt from that one.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:26, archived)
Tried that one
Well, except the threats of physical violence. They're "working on it" apparently. Cunts.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:27, archived)
Sounds akin to "the cheque's in the post" to me.
The people responsible for the latest version of our accounting software are unable to explain why we haven't been able to import last year's accounts for over a month. We haven't been able to bill anyone for the whole month of January and my boss is starting to shit bricks.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:31, archived)

emotions body parts
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:32, archived)
Ack, definitely a "no m8" on that one.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 10:35, archived)
they do it on purpose

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 11:01, archived)
It's normally the solicitors that like the money resting in their account for a week or so

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 11:09, archived)
I think you're right

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 11:10, archived)
morning

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 7:15, archived)
morning
wishing you all a nice cold week, with lots of rain and snow and hail and great gusts of wind. I had that last week, so I've enough of that. cheers.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 7:37, archived)
Did you get battered by the storms?
We just got all the snow and arctic temperatures afterwards.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 7:49, archived)
not really because I don't go outside *lies*
but on Friday the whole countries trains got cancelled and I had to be at a birthday.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 7:54, archived)
had the icecream melted into the jelly by the time you got there?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:02, archived)
I don't eat ice cream anymore, soz

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:17, archived)
ex-girlfriend poisoned your stracciatella?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:18, archived)

www.b3ta.com/board/10375902
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:24, archived)
lol gutted

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:38, archived)
lol, "Monday"

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 7:48, archived)
lol "mons"
you know, like a cunt bump
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 7:49, archived)
lol

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 7:55, archived)
lol

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 7:57, archived)
Morning, I'm fucked.
The flu has fucked me.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:05, archived)
colds hit me with alarming brutality these days
there needs to be more recognition for men's suffering, like breast cancer awareness but with more snot.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:09, archived)
A scrunched tissue on your lapel?
or is that a bit too much like wanking awareness week?
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:11, archived)
I thought you hung a crispy sock out of your back pocket for wanking awareness week?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:15, archived)
You aren't wrong.
The disparity in media attention absolutely boils my piss.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:13, archived)
#meflu

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:29, archived)
bravo

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:33, archived)
YES.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:34, archived)
Thanks for voting for message 8145539!
Close Window
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:37, archived)
Oh, I say. That's rather good.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 9:08, archived)
morgen, freimensch

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:11, archived)
witam, towarzyszu

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:20, archived)
Mornplops

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:12, archived)
lol plops, like what gilgy used to say!

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:20, archived)
I do not know who gilgy is

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:47, archived)
*silently weeps*
*leaves single, red rose*
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:52, archived)
the original username was called Gilgamesh
but people called him Frank because a) he opened new accounts weekly after being banned so often and b) it was his fucking name*.
*surname or summink, dunno, who gives a shit.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:52, archived)
Maybe because he was shut in an attic
and feared the coming of the authorities?
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:56, archived)
It was his only name
like 'Madonna'
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:57, archived)
poor John, if only manolith had given him his original account back he'd have behaved himself

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:58, archived)
I'm not sure he would have
he got institutionalized for being so mental, that's a pretty big step.
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 9:04, archived)
A LORRA LORRA morning greetings to all.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:13, archived)
Did they use her teeth as her tombstone?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:20, archived)
Fence around the whole graveyard, more like.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:26, archived)
council worker sacked after bringing epee to work

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:30, archived)
in b4 tangles

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:25, archived)

t b
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JHp8Cc3wBY
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:29, archived)
oh

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:40, archived)
in after $$

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:40, archived)

gfycat.com/miserlythickarizonaalligatorlizard
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:42, archived)
I was so close to making it

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:51, archived)
yeah, if you like

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:49, archived)
oh no, don't ask me, what do YOU want?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:53, archived)
peace on earth
and to be a little bit taller
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:57, archived)
How tall are you?

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 9:03, archived)
4' 3"

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 9:04, archived)
That's a ha'furlong and eight barleycorns in old money.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 9:07, archived)
Correct

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 9:08, archived)
height not diameter, you pillock

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 9:21, archived)
He's measured himself lying down.

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 9:32, archived)

i.redd.it/fsoqcxh58jb01.jpg
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:57, archived)
Now the barbarians are at the gates, she has the audacity to ask for help
*tips fedora*
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 9:00, archived)
Shut up for fucks sake

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 8:59, archived)
put the kettle on and make a nice cup of go fuck yourself

(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 9:04, archived)
No wait, give him a chance
I think he's headed somewhere with this
(, Mon 22 Jan 2018, 9:04, archived)
afternoon nobbers and nobbettes
anyone got any fun plans today?
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 15:32, archived)
Off to the pub right now

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 15:34, archived)
lucky bugger
the nearest pub that's open is an utter wankpile, the kind of place where fresh duct tape on the seats counts as renovation
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 15:39, archived)
If it was all I had I'd make it home

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 16:14, archived)
there are some much nicer places about 20 minutes away
but it's pissing down and i need to listen to loud music and watch snooker, so off licence it is.
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 16:19, archived)
Just digesting a massive and delicious roast beef dinner
I fancy some port now #gout
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 15:40, archived)
making a green curry later
really don't feel like eating today, stomach is a bit squally. serves me right for hugging the nephews.
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 15:42, archived)
Because the beef was always rotten in my local they no longer do it, you get rump steak roast dinner, mind I don't like roast dinner anyway

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 16:21, archived)
serious question
do you prefer rump? i always buy it if i can, i think it's the nicest steak to eat rare or blue
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 16:27, archived)
I don't mind rump, you know the fats on the outside, I prefer fillet but it's expensive and small, sir loin can be excellent but can also be full of fat

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 16:45, archived)

i.pinimg.com/originals/66/cb/11/66cb11bfb0cfc48aad2277d617c9f238.jpg
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 16:47, archived)
i find fillet a bit bland
and the only place locally that does decent sirloin you're looking at about £15 for a decent piece
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 16:49, archived)
Ribeye cooked right can be outstanding

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 18:06, archived)
I used to take flash fry cheap shit fishing, you don't see that in my local shops anymore

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 18:34, archived)
As long as you do it sort of nearly medium so the fat melts it's gorgeous

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 18:41, archived)
Gary Clail y/n?

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 16:54, archived)
Tackhead were awful
On-U Sound were great, Dub Syndicate even more so
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 17:52, archived)
My brother's mate came down with gout in his early thirties, thanks to his terrible diet.
The fuckwit.
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 19:04, archived)
You say he's a fuckwit, but it's a hedonist's disease, the journey's probably quite fun.

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 19:31, archived)
Nah, he lived like a complete slob, and his diet was basically just red wine and meat.
Nothing says living well like malnutrition!
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 21:45, archived)
ntb
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngsqaRD2HI8
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 23:14, archived)
Nope, sorted the horse out, took the motorbike for a brief spin, decided it was too cold so I'm doing computer games and lager instead.
Might watch a movie. Too cold and damp for any proper outdoor fun.
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 16:19, archived)
nipped to the supermarket earlier
but only because i won a spot of cash this morning and wanted curryh
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 16:28, archived)
I've got a lamb tagine bubbling away in the slow cooker.

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 17:12, archived)
i used to like a nice lamb tagine
until a friend made one a while back. it was swimming in grease and tasted utterly disgusting. put me right off.
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 17:16, archived)
so you did bought one like you want it in2017?
proper wheels I hope
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 17:51, archived)
I bought and fixed up a crashed bandit 600
On the hunt for another classic project now.
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 18:01, archived)
what, you already fixed it?
Thought you only bought it a few weeks ago
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 18:05, archived)
Bought it the week before Christmas.
Only needed the front end, chap thought the frame was bent, but he was wrong.
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 18:07, archived)
It was just you

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 18:35, archived)
:(

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 18:40, archived)
alright "Easy Rider" well done on that purchase

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 19:34, archived)
Can't believe I missed out on Star Trek chat whilst having a quiet night of Warhammer painting and rum.
Sunday morning, all.
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 10:30, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBTVrsjeRlA
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:20, archived)
very funny!

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:37, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hfzkgc6r6-A
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:49, archived)
I'm thoroughly enjoying these.

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 14:34, archived)
Noel Edmonds has set up his own radio station dedicated to his beef with Lloyds Bank.
He is interviewing himself at the moment.
edge01.media.positivityradio.world:8081/positively/noel64/icecast.audio

The tracks he plays all have links to lying or battles.
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:34, archived)
depressing

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:43, archived)
My mum fancies him.

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 14:37, archived)
Russell Howard's sister is more annoying than he is

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:50, archived)
I'm too hungover to find the strikethrough tags on this phone but imagine I turned your rum into bum
Pretty lol I think you'll agree
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 12:37, archived)
lol

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 14:34, archived)

https://youtu.be/FCARADb9asE
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 13:23, archived)
nerdiest thread of 2018
star trek, warhammer, monster munch

this one had it all
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 14:27, archived)
#winning

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 14:36, archived)
hmm weird,
a post i made on /board a couple of weeks ago seems to have vanished, did it break a rule? :/
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:19, archived)
what was it?
also
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwDAiAKhsCs
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 0:31, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyKq7Aax-hI
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 0:36, archived)
it’s probably just dropped off the page
click on the ‘older posts’ link
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 10:51, archived)
yeah very funny,
it doesn't come up in a search, not in the archive when i try to go back to it, mind you a big chunk of the archives seems to be missing anyway. it got on the popular page and everything. the image is still hosted, however.. posted on 8 Jan at about 10:30pm
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 18:54, archived)
Bugger all on the telly

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:12, archived)
What would you like them to show?

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:26, archived)
No he means there's a documentary about a very active homosexual

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:38, archived)
there's something about Clary

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:58, archived)
So these pots of weed are a stain called stardog, it's alright

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:52, archived)
Apparently I have 'New York Orange Diesel', wow eh
In fairness it's good.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:38, archived)
we've got Netflix now,
we've been watching Star Trek TNG. It is completely stupid.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 20:56, archived)
Hey, that was my Star Trek benchmark during my teenage years.
It's still my second-favourite Star Trek series.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:23, archived)
what's your first?
we're still only on series 2, i'm told it gets better. although i am enjoying it, don't get me wrong.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:27, archived)
The original series, with its epic scenery-chewing and groundbreaking interracial romances.
I've yet to get caught up in a single incarnation of Star Trek other than those two (and the films). DS9 was torpedoed from the word go by the horrible acting of the bloke who played Benjamin Sisko; Voyager had its moments but it let itself down by turning into a space Corrie.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:29, archived)
we watched Enterprise just before TNG, and i think that one is my favourite now,
Original Series is always the benchmark for me tbh, but the first two series of TNG just seem to be rehashes of TOS stories, and it's just not breaking any ground anymore.

Enterprise is so damned cheerful though, everyone is just really excited to be in space, it's really positive and uplifting, they respect the original series canon in fact i think it manages to make TOS better which has to be the mark of a good prequel.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:35, archived)
Shut up m8

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:39, archived)
no you shut up

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:42, archived)
also T'Pol really does have a nice bum

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:43, archived)
He was good in Flash Gordon
'ARE YOU INJURRED?'
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:51, archived)
Look! We've been joined by the man whose opinion is more important than everybody else's!
I don't know about you but I'm feeling privileged.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:03, archived)
he really is a grumpy old shit

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:16, archived)
haha
if Grrrmachine is calling you a grumpy old shit you know you've got problems
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:26, archived)
thatsthejoke.jpg

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:49, archived)
there's no such thing as jokes

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:51, archived)
jokes are an abstract concept

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:51, archived)
clabs

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:56, archived)
I'm not about to lecture you about glass houses and stones
but you've become considerably more of a troll throwing out cheap insults since your post-flounce return.

Meanwhile, Mcbeef is sprawled on the couch, tilting like a beached whale as he digests the last remnants of home-made pizza, pissed up on red wine and fumbling with his massive drugs pipe as he yells at the television.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:29, archived)
every few months the more active accounts get reallocated
the Grrrmachine account is now run by the original Parrott owner, while user McBeef is being maintained by Dr Shambolic's original handler. We'll come full circle in a few years.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 22:51, archived)
So *that's* why banned poster Dozington Shitstick can come back under a different name every week.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:00, archived)
it doesn't get good until riker has a beard and bev is back as the doctor.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:09, archived)
Riker already has a beard,
Dr Pulaski is a proper bellend though
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:11, archived)
The best doctor throughout all the Star Treks was the EMH played by Robert Picardo.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:30, archived)
dunno is he the Voyager guy?
i never really watched it much, i am a great admirer of Dr Phlox out of Enterprise though, so cheerfully eccentric
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:32, archived)
Yeah, he was quite curmudgeonly to begin with. But much like Data or Vulcans he served as a device that was always trying to comprehend what it is to be human.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:38, archived)
Data seems to be the only one getting any plot development in TNG so far,
Wesley Crusher is sort of progressing but not really developing as a character.

Also, shut up Wesley
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 23:41, archived)
Watch gazorra, it is far more entertaining

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:46, archived)
dunno what that is,
we've been recommended The Expanse.
we also watch The Good Place
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:47, archived)
the expanse is well worth your time
the acting isn't top drawer, but the writing is excellent and the production is consistently impressive
(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 11:48, archived)
Afternoon
Went to MaccyD's for coffee. Used my collect 6 stickers and get a free coffee coupon. The free coffee came with a sticker, now only need five coffees next time.

Your move Ronald.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 12:56, archived)
Cool story, bro.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:10, archived)
I don't normally buy coffee to go like a prick
but I prefer their coffee over Starbucks, Costa and the other generic high street chains.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:12, archived)
And me.
It's probably because they do proper long/filter coffee rather than Americano nonsense.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:25, archived)
Family day out in Bristol. It's fantastic!
Apart from the bit in Las iguanas where they handed me a tablet to do a customer satisfaction survey and I had to tick the "35 to 44" age range foe the first time.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:14, archived)
Lol old

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:17, archived)
You could've avoided that by not being a survey-filling-out prick.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:26, archived)
Shit Mexican.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:57, archived)
You're a shit Mexican Jeff

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:41, archived)
Said no Juan ever.

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 9:18, archived)
what happy meal toy did you get?

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:25, archived)
happy end, more like

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:34, archived)
shoved it straight up his arse without even looking at it first

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:40, archived)
ok well when they get the x-ray can someone let me know

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:48, archived)
The doctor said it appears to be a very frightend looking person who used to work the drive through
..whoops.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 15:39, archived)
asparagus for lunch
#smellywee
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 13:33, archived)
Just trimmed my hedge. Phwoar!

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 14:25, archived)
In front of a Glasgow audience who sat stony-faced through the "my foot, wooden leg" callback.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 14:26, archived)
Alright B. Beard

(, Sun 21 Jan 2018, 9:21, archived)
their coffee tastes like ashtray

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 16:19, archived)
Dunno if I dare ask how you know what ashtrays taste of

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 18:04, archived)
Let's just say I know

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 19:01, archived)
Morning
How is everyone today?
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 8:47, archived)
Fine thanks m8
Just waiting for my wife and kid to wake up so fun can begin. Got guests for lunch. How r u lol
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 8:58, archived)
allright
got a to-do list for the weekend, been putting off household stuff all week. Who's coming for lunch?
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:03, archived)
probably the honourable Earl and Duchess of Cunt as well as Lord Hash, who is a favoured guest of the Beefs since way back when

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:14, archived)
How did they meet?

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:15, archived)
Round Woodkovsky's gaff at his annual Shitcunt Ball

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:17, archived)
Now my social calendar feels grossly underwhelming

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:20, archived)
I should get tickets for this year

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:21, archived)
it's always a laugh and a half, mait
much cheaper than Ascot and everyone is VIP. Richard's come the past four times but never remembers because he boozes up straight away. and my partys always last a week.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:31, archived)
what kind of snacks are there?

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:34, archived)
groundnuts mainly

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:49, archived)
special guests this year: Daft Spunk, the Bust Brothers, Magenta and the Poo Fighters

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 10:10, archived)
Wife's best pal, her husband and their 3 kids
I'm cooking pizzas. Dough and sauce made yesterday so zero prep.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:16, archived)
Homemade pizza
bit fancy, I'd of popped to Tesco myself.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 9:20, archived)
Homemade pizza hi 5.
I'm just tucking into leftovers from last night. Somehow just as tasty cold.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 10:51, archived)
gonna do a lamb tagine i reckon

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 11:14, archived)

lamb tagine chinchilla up the whoopsy
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 21:47, archived)
Hoovering, doing the laundry and trimming the hedge literally single-handedly.

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 11:20, archived)
well i just got a pikachu that can surf so y'know
it's going pretty great
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 11:34, archived)
Got smashed last night watching the football
So I've gone out for a pint and breakfast.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 11:41, archived)
Successful weekending then.
I went and saw 3 billboards, had a few pints in a Jazz club while some blues band played then, just out of basic curiosity, tried out the Taco Bell they have in Glasgow. It was unsurprisingly very bland.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 11:56, archived)
Good film?

(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 12:54, archived)
So far so good.
Lazy morning, at the yard now having a coffee, got to pop and see my dad and then if it stops raining I might go out for a few pints.
(, Sat 20 Jan 2018, 12:42, archived)
Got to say a big 'sorry' to Paul's mum here
That was some serious pooing
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:50, archived)
i hope you at least double flushed

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:54, archived)
Not even once

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 22:00, archived)
I've had about 5 pints and I'm feeling fucked, must be ill, 2 shoe or not to shoe, that is the question

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 18:19, archived)
good bit of shoe will sort you out

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 18:37, archived)
I'm going home, some old prick who thinks he knows watches has turned up, he pesters me

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 19:04, archived)
shank him

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 19:17, archived)
no solids in the downstairs toilet

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 18:37, archived)
Do you have a aresehole like a collapsed mineshaft ?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 18:46, archived)
Full of Endermen?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 19:10, archived)
B+

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 21:59, archived)
I think it's disgusting that in this day and age video games are being released which teach children that every time you see a black man he's probably about to either steal something or assault you

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 23:58, archived)
local kebab joint is now taking bookings for Valentines

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 19:18, archived)
If three people turn up together,
do they get a special spitroast menu?
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 19:24, archived)
Just seen that Three Billboards. Was 'alright'.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 21:09, archived)
i might goand see that myself

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 21:24, archived)
I would've seen it Sunday, but they're showing Magnolia as a one-off then, and I've not seen that.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 22:03, archived)
I don't think we really want to know what scatological shennanigans you've been up to with manolith's mum.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 21:48, archived)
Anyone up for going over to Paul's house to do a poo?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:27, archived)
Na

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:33, archived)
go on
beansy's going
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:46, archived)
Fucken beansy??
I haven't seen him in ages!
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:56, archived)
always up for a laugh is beansy

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:59, archived)
he's fucken dope

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:00, archived)
Apart from that time he tried it on with my sister when we went to see Gremlins 2

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:08, archived)
oh come on m8 she was totally leading him on

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:15, archived)
^

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:22, archived)
Oh yeah
That was out of order
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:18, archived)
no real names pls

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:40, archived)
soz

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:46, archived)
yup k

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:42, archived)
cool
see you there
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:46, archived)
not sure I can hold it in till I get there

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:44, archived)
just meet us in the kitchen

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:46, archived)
looks like there's been a bad crash on the a45 so I might stay in the pub a bit longer
bogs aren't very nice here though
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:50, archived)
they are playing Terence Trent D'arby though

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:55, archived)
wishing well?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:56, archived)
nah just standard urinals

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:00, archived)
Ah, good
I also would have accepted "No, the Red Lion on the high street"
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:01, archived)
remember the rule
5 and drive
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:09, archived)
Is this some sort of yoof slang?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:46, archived)
the streets gotta hold on me

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:47, archived)
i always poo in the morning
so the tank's empty
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:50, archived)
good call

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:58, archived)
defo

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:52, archived)
cheers

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:58, archived)
You should have put this on /calendar.
I'd have taken the afternoon off.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:52, archived)
Calendar could deffo do with some more events

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:54, archived)

ev b
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:56, archived)
It needs more $$.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:57, archived)
I just want the cool people there

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:59, archived)
it's already there
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/25690
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:00, archived)
I don't like the look of that guest list.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:07, archived)
a couple of non-wipers there I'll admit

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 16:22, archived)
Is the two wipe finish an individual target
Or is it across all attendees?
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:16, archived)
two wipes seems a bit unhygienic

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:54, archived)
Nah

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:24, archived)
Ffs sake I've just this minute finished shitting down a rubbish chute , I need to check my phone more

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:33, archived)
+ RHC

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 17:36, archived)
besides b3ta, what do you do when you're at work with nothing to do?
I'm playing with transport tycoon because I'm a nerd.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:19, archived)
giggling in the toilets

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:21, archived)
Goss with Trisha from the help desk about fat Lauren

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:22, archived)
Nobody is buying the thyroid problem Lauren you fat bitch

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:23, archived)
she's such a bitch

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:24, archived)
I reckon she's gunna get lipo when's she's in Turkey next month

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:25, archived)
She fucking should

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:28, archived)
what a fucking bitch

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:30, archived)
Needs her fat fucking face wired shut the bitch

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:32, archived)
she's the reason the copier broke... the fat cunt

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:12, archived)
Reddit, Facebook, personal e-mail, chat to people on Skype, wank, listen to music.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:22, archived)
I just sit in the break room smashing f5

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:25, archived)
Odd nickname for yer wang m8

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:31, archived)
there's always something to do, I just can't be arsed

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:26, archived)
At work with nothing to do?
I wonder what that's like.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:26, archived)
Save the 'I'm so busy, woe is me' patter for LinkedIn m8.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:33, archived)
Twitter (which is fine because I do social media for work anyway)
Guardian, BBC, Independent, The Conversation, Telegraph.

Keep an eye on 'em. Kinda work related.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:27, archived)
The Independent is more like buzzfeed these days

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:12, archived)
I'm always busy but if I want a bit of a break, I go for a nice poo

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:34, archived)
an ice poo?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:44, archived)
There's no heating in there, does get a bit chilly

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:47, archived)
I want to post a reply to this
but I'll get told off for being weird again
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:48, archived)
Is it about me frotting myself with frozen shit dildos?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:55, archived)
no
I just wondered whether the ice made it slip out more easily, or if the turds stuck to your ringpiece like when you like a frozen lamppost.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:57, archived)
I do like frozen lampposts, it's true

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:01, archived)
Clicked "I lick this"

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:02, archived)

Clicked
this
windows
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:05, archived)
I masturbate

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:16, archived)
^not a master of his domain

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:18, archived)
I'm out

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:21, archived)

i.makeagif.com/media/10-30-2014/Ib0FLd.gif
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:33, archived)
I'm not sure what that was
but I liked it all the same
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:34, archived)
isn't that limmy?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:07, archived)
yes

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:09, archived)
out of Motorhiad?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:10, archived)
isn't that wonderflimmy

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:15, archived)
The singer for the South African Motörhead tribute band?

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:16, archived)
Currently watching the snooker
You play Cities Skylines? That is addictive.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 14:20, archived)
^tggi
I've lost hours to that game trying to sort out congestion problems in the city centre
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:31, archived)

thumbs.gfycat.com/EmbarrassedFragrantEskimodog-max-1mb.gif
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 15:19, archived)
LOL

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:26, archived)
It's going to be one of those days, isn't it?
First a lacklustre morning thread, now this silly behaviour.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:29, archived)
I wanted to do one of those
META
E
T
A

morning threads, but it didn't work out.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:30, archived)
Frankly m8 I had no idea what the fuck you were on about with all those cryptic one-letter replies.
I'm still not sure it makes any sense.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:40, archived)
It says Friday you spastic

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:40, archived)
No u

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:41, archived)
Oh, god, not silly behaviour. We shouldn't be having a laugh. This is a place for serious discussion.
We need Manolith to start banning these daft people.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:30, archived)
Stop that! It's silly.
And a bit suspect, I think.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:33, archived)
There's some right cheerless buggers on here...
and Im not talking about sodomy.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:35, archived)
last time I did a pun thread manolith got all stroppy
so I'm sure he'd be happy to serve as Joy Police
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:42, archived)
I got some UNLOL information this morning
And I am offended by this thread.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:35, archived)
Yeah?
Well get fucked, shitface.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:36, archived)
You are a disgrace to the homosexual community
You should be disbarred.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:41, archived)
I was queen of the scene in Newcastle M8

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:44, archived)
UNLOL sounds like a UN peacekeeping force deployed to Somalia.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:36, archived)
My firm's working on handkerchiefs laced with sleeping pills for insomniac Somalians
They're called Mogatissues.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:39, archived)


(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:42, archived)
They exists to keep the peace... And bring some fun

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:42, archived)
Sounds like Suicide Squad, but fewer shit.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:43, archived)
If someone ever says "Nah, that film's alright"
Then their view on anything is null and void. A terrible terrible film.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:46, archived)
If anyone said that to me, I'd automatically assume they liked Michael Bay.
Painfully awful from beginning to end. The thing that disappoints me the most about is the sheer amount of potential they wasted.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:48, archived)
i no

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:17, archived)
no i

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:18, archived)
I've fucked work off until Monday, cbfa

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 13:27, archived)
No

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:16, archived)
Look at this threadstompin' bizzatch all up in the hizzy.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:18, archived)
We did weekend plans on like Wednesday.

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:23, archived)
Yeah but like plans are fickle and can change at the drop of the hat.
Which reminds me that I saw an ex last night who changed her mind literally every five minutes and it was the most infuriating fucking thing.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:24, archived)
being filled with a soul-wrenching regret as the cum drips off her eyelid
is hardly "changing her mind literally every five minutes" m8
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:29, archived)
Go and have a wank or something you fucking weirdo

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:32, archived)
Ever spent an entire evening wandering around Paris
and changing restaurants ten times, sometimes after we'd been sat down and given menus? Ever booked a holiday to Alsace to see the Christmas market and packed your bags only to hear, about five minutes before you had to leave the flat to catch your train, that she didn't feel like going any more? Yeah.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:33, archived)
I'm sorry I suggested your friendship was homoerotic m8
I'd never heard the phrase "tie one on" before. There's just so many ways to talk about getting drunk.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:18, archived)
I'm deeply upset and I'm not talking to you anymore

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:22, archived)
ok

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:23, archived)
Weekend glans
roll up! roll up!

Share your tragic, mundane lives with the rest of us, by telling us your weekend glans.
(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:15, archived)
Pub crawl in some godforsaken northern town with a load of 18 year old rugby kids

(, Fri 19 Jan 2018, 12:18, archived)

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