Greetings from 39000ft!
Can't chat for long. Am just about touching the Aussie coastline. Only another 5 hours till Sydney. Had a screaming baby in the next aisle the whole time. How do you recommend I deal with it?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 15:26, archived)

pop a tit in its mouth

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 15:31, archived)

t z
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 17:55, archived)

ew

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 18:10, archived)

+l
t sh
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 22:45, archived)

milk its adrenal gland

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 15:34, archived)

OMG! It's PLANEarm! And he's on a PLANE!
Give the baby a couple of rum and cokes, shut it up.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 15:34, archived)

the Aussie coastline cloth
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 15:38, archived)

Any thing good on the telly

( mongychops, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 15:50, archived)

LOLoL_OlOloloLOLOLLololOLoLoLOLOLolBBbbBbBzzzZzZzbBbbBbbzzZzZZZz_{lOlOlolOLOlOlOL}bbbBbZZZZzzZ_{BbBbbBBzZzzZzZZzzlOloLOlOLOlOLOlOlBBbbBbzzZZzzZz}lOlOlOlOLolOloLOL^{ololololololololololololololololol}
( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 16:49, archived)

T he woman that played Janelle Voight in Terminator was also Vasquez in Aliens.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 17:00, archived)

hey Slippery Mick, you ever been mistaken for a man?

( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 17:23, archived)

Yeah, Manfred Mann mostly.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 17:51, archived)

Apone was Jesse Ventura in blackface, they were all at it in the 80s

(97800, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 19:22, archived)

In honour of both Men and Toilets, let's hear your cottaging anecdotes.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 13:46, archived)

I stayed in a cottage once.
No-one tried to solicit public sex from me though. It was very disappointing. 2/10.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 13:51, archived)

I couldn't finish my cottage pie last night
just wasn't feeling it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 13:58, archived)

I'm a power bottom

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 14:00, archived)

I ended up in a sleepy village somewhere in Oxfordshire on a choir tour once
and because we'd come from so far away, we were all assigned host families. I ended up staying with the village vicar, who lived in the sort of cottage you see only on Ye Olde Englande postcards, with a thatched roof and an immaculately tended garden. No soliciting of sex took place.

Then there was the time I nipped into the toilets on one of the platforms at London Bridge and there was a guy in there just standing at one of the urinals and wanking, very slowly and deliberately. I think there might have been a bit of soliciting going on there.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 14:00, archived)

Few things are quite so erotic,
as the stench of piss from a busy station's toilets.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 14:02, archived)

I make sure to light piss-scented candles in the bedroom before my date comes over.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 14:03, archived)

I just piss my pants.
I'm always ready for love.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 14:15, archived)

That was common at london bridge for a while, fella I knew was accosted there and beat the shit out of the fella, ended up doing bird, came out and killed himself, rip Karl

( mongychops, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 14:03, archived)

Blimey.
One of the lifers in Tony Parker's "Life After Life" got put away because a bloke walking past him in the street patted him on the arse and murmured "Oy oy", so he turned round and shanked him.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 14:06, archived)

I stuck my dick in the holes of a block of emmental.
It was a Swiss cottage!
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 14:58, archived)

It was a Swiss cottage! A mouse bit my helmet. I didn't like it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 15:06, archived)

Cherry Chapstick etc.

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 15:09, archived)

Was that a Skee-Lo record?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 15:11, archived)

Saturday night I took a shortcut home through the park and got propositioned by a polite young man, then a bit further on there was a bloke sucking another bloke watched while a Stern bloke watched with folded arms.
I'll probably stick to the road after dark in future.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 15:25, archived)

Morning Richard!

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:40, archived)

Morning
Busy for a Monday
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:42, archived)

Is this a deliberate threadstomp or did you just reply in the wrong place?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:47, archived)

I was being amusing
by replying to Richard sorting out the last threadstomp by doing a supposedly accidental threadstomp.

The hilarity!
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:53, archived)

t3h m3ta!!!!!!!

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:56, archived)

this is all Dave Trouser's fault

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:47, archived)

pricks

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 9:03, archived)

Happy World Toilet Day, everyone! But especially Richard.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 9:20, archived)

and Women's Entrepreneurship Day
you go gurls!
( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 9:23, archived)

How dare they schedule that to clash with International Men's Day?
Typical feminazis. #MGTOW
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 9:24, archived)

fuck off MGTOW

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 9:43, archived)

And my son's birthday, happy birthday, I'll pop your cards round later

( mongychops, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 9:47, archived)

Lol
www.b3ta.com/talk/151516
( mongychops, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 9:59, archived)

You just don't see the sort of sexual boating that Marwood was engaging in, anymore.
Not since qotw shut down.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 10:03, archived)

it's almost impressive how a thread about a newborn baby turned into a couple of creepy weirdos offering to do their best sex on a girl they'd never met

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 10:06, archived)

that's what the internet should be remembered for

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 11:10, archived)

Hope he likes the Woolworths vouchers.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 9:59, archived)

I just remembered i tried to sneak a silent paper out while talking to some bloke at the bar and ended up letting out one loud enough it could've woken the dead.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 10:31, archived)

Like that ridiculous controversy I saw over the weekend
between two darts players, each of whom was accusing the other one of having farted live on camera.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 10:39, archived)

yeah, nothing, happy world toilet day

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 9:53, archived)

Nah,
It's one of those bullshit things people say because they think it makes them sound interesting. I can imagine not remembering off the top of your head, but you will know your date of birth and you'd have to be a retard at maths to not just figure it out in a couple seconds. Either way, 43 or 44 is lol old.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:36, archived)

Not supposed to be a new thread, so.
Soz
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:36, archived)

your Polish ID number contains your DOB
yet job recruiters ask for both as if they're openly admitting they can't count to 10 if they're wearing mittens.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:38, archived)

I am either 43 or 44 years old and I really don't care one way or the other.

( sof sof, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:21, archived)

• a member for 15 years, 7 months and 18 days
• has posted 72 messages on the talk board

What makes you think any of us here give a single solitary shit about your birthday?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:25, archived)

Its not my birthday
I just thought it odd that I dont know how old I am. Reasonable people should demand answers!
( sof sof, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:28, archived)

I would care if it were your birthday.
Happy Belated Birthday Grrrmachine!
( sof sof, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:30, archived)

you are a disgusting sycophant

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:33, archived)

syc·o·phant
NOUN
a person who acts obsequiously toward someone important in order to gain advantage
( sof sof, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:37, archived)

ob·se·qui·ous
ADJECTIVE
obedient or attentive to an excessive or servile degree.
( sof sof, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:37, archived)

Indubitably my grace
Now may I present my engorged bowels for your inspection and free use.
( sof sof, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:42, archived)

Who's this stomping cunt?

(97800, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:37, archived)

Sounds like somebody's got a case of "The Monday's"

( sof sof, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:48, archived)

People keep assuming I'm a prostitute and trying to pay me for sex
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-46235842
(97800, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:56, archived)

I'm more concerned that the whale in the Thames is a Benny on the loose
www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-kent-46255755
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:08, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:35, archived)

sof

( sof sof, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:44, archived)

you look 43 but smell 44

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:07, archived)

white asparagus is just normal asparagus that's been grown in the dark.
How mad is that????!!!!!????!!!
( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:13, archived)

What are you, an escaped slave?
New office configuration today. Got my back to the door and lumped in an island with someone right next to me who can see my screen, for maximum rubbishness.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:18, archived)

to the
and lump smash
an island with by
who can see my screen
rubbish gay
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:20, archived)

Good morning Grrrmachine.
Last night I rewatched "Annihilation" and enjoyed it a second time. I remember you took the piss out of me for enjoying it the first time, so maybe you'd like to take the piss out of me again, if you've got nothing else to do this morning.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:27, archived)

I think I just disagreed that it was a good film and you got a bit upset
if you want to perve over Portman and a soundtrack that's basically the THX logo on repeat, be my guest
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:33, archived)

I watched Infinity War this weekend and it made me happy that Stan Lee died
so that he can't inflict any more of this shit on humanity.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:35, archived)

Nothing like a bit of edgy whinging to get the day off to a radiant start, eh?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:40, archived)

what's edgy about it?
the plot is a fucking abomination
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:45, archived)

I watched that because the premise sounded like 1970s JG Ballard.
I didn't think the film was very good.
( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:41, archived)

Go for 44.
Closer to retirement.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 19 Nov 2018, 8:40, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 6:29, archived)

Morning
It's still dark out. But someone at work likes to schedule early meetings. Bastards.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 6:51, archived)

what a cock-end
have you tried saying "no" to these meetings?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 6:54, archived)

It's one of those ones you can't say no to
A one off thing, but a bit of a bugger first thing on Monday
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:02, archived)

loudly crunch cornflakes whenever the meeting organizer is talking
and make sure you really slurp up that milk too.
youtu.be/anGDAeSjCYc?t=5
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 19 Nov 2018, 7:13, archived)

It's my son's 14th birthday tomorrow, I'm not sure I remember being 14, 15 I started raving , do you recall any milestones

( mongychops, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 18:41, archived)

14 was probably when I started smoking draw.
There's an 18 year old at my work, 17 when he started, you don't get draw these days apparently. It's all super skunk these days.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 18:58, archived)

Blech. Gimme some nice fudgey blond hash any day.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 19:18, archived)

Quite like green because I can vape it and I jacked in tabs.
Normal weed would be nice. These days you've got council rock or turbo skunk.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 19:21, archived)

I miss smoking weed
Then again, I much prefer hash. When I was a nipper, all there was was hash and weed/skunk was something fairly exotic.

Bring on Canadian style legalised weed with proper controls and regulated strengths.
( bent reznor the brownward spiral, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 19:32, archived)

Yer, same soap bar for 15 quid on the 8th, skunk about 25.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 19:47, archived)

That's my experience right there.

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 18 Nov 2018, 20:50, archived)

I'd rather my lad never bothered with it, hypocrisy I know

( mongychops, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 19:53, archived)

Probably best he does, too stoned to get into actual trouble

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 19:58, archived)

Being on the school rugby team, sleeping in my dad's new place on a mattress under the leaky roof,
doing the whole GCSE thing, going to my first grown-up parties...that's about all I remember about being 14.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 18:59, archived)

Being 14 in was all about strops and wanking
I wouldn't change much, perhaps do even more wanking.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 19:02, archived)

lost my virginity at 14
played my first game of Dungeons and Dragons at 15. Not sure my childhood went according to plan.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 19:04, archived)

What was his name lol

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 19:07, archived)

Zordrax the Despoiler, I think.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 19:18, archived)

And then Lego, and now you soil yourself in a nappy

( mongychops, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 19:54, archived)

Benjamin Button-mushroom

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 20:33, archived)

How much more Irvine Welsh do I need to read before this thread starts to make any sort of sense?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 20:43, archived)

Yiv goat tae huv fuckin brains tae be a fuckin judge.
S no iviry cunt thit kin dae that fuckin joab.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 21:00, archived)

Morning all.
I'm off to exciting London to spend the day hoovering AC filters in an office block in Mayfair. The joy.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 18 Nov 2018, 7:31, archived)

That certainly is an original way to spend your Sunday.
I hope you'll be blasting some appropriate music for the experience.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 9:32, archived)

that's unsurprising
we all know you suck
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 11:21, archived)

This is shite.
Definitely not worth enraging God.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 18 Nov 2018, 11:49, archived)

Urgh my heid. I went the pub last night and got half cut then decided to walk home through Kelvingrove Park
By the river, which it turns out is where the rent boys hang out; I know this both by the way a lad tried to make friendly conversation with me but also quite obviously wondering if I wanted some business and also because a bit further along the path there was a lad properly enthusiastically gobbling someone. While another bloke looked on.

Probably going to take the main road home in future.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 11:24, archived)

Why won't you support your local economy

(97800, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 11:38, archived)

There was a TV drama ages ago
with David Suchet as a middle-aged family man who gave in to his curiosity and went looking for a rent boy, found one then chickened out. Rent boy got threatening, middle-aged family man got stabby.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 11:43, archived)

Sounds like a Jimmy McGovern classic, like something out of Cracker.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 12:03, archived)

It was dark and misty all the time and everyone was miserable, so could well be.
Edit: I've found it now.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 12:09, archived)

L I V

(97800, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 12:26, archived)

i
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 18 Nov 2018, 18:34, archived)

evening

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 18:14, archived)

Evening.
I've just invested in some boxing kit.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 19:33, archived)

by kit you mean a pair of gloves

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 20:37, archived)

By "kit" I mean a full-length bag, free-standing mounting frame, gloves and wraps.
So you're a little bit right.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 20:39, archived)

Nice.
I've got a heavy bag in the attic which I can't hang anywhere here cause it'll damage the walls.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 17 Nov 2018, 20:51, archived)

That's why I got the frame.
I'm going to set the whole thing up in the garden and bash the shit out of it. The manufacturer recommends weighing it down with 30-40 kg of...whatever, so I may invest in a couple of sandbags as well.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 21:10, archived)

I'll be on a plane for 26 hours tomorrow
wish me luck!
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 20:38, archived)

I hope you aren't involved in an aeronautical disaster.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 21:07, archived)

It's ok, I've got the exit seat.

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 21:08, archived)

It's okay, if he nods off the co-pilot can take over

(97800, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 22:24, archived)

Also, this is clearly lies
how can he be on a plane for 26 hours in a single day
(97800, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 22:25, archived)

witchcraft

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 22:33, archived)

I take it you're flying west

(97800, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 22:46, archived)

Morning
Weekend time
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 6:57, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 8:31, archived)

I'm reet

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 8:35, archived)

I overslept. On a Saturday.
In a sane world, the would just be a lie in.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 9:37, archived)

9:37 is too early to be considered a lie in

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 10:26, archived)

i don't mean to be overly dramatic
but i could sure go for the sweet release of death right now
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 10:19, archived)

Bad day?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 11:06, archived)

I've had a cold for a week and I'm coughing up greyish lumps of snot every few minutes

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 11:49, archived)

Sounds awful
Sudafed?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 12:12, archived)

I could sue the CIA too, wouldn't make a difference

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 13:03, archived)

Sic semper evello mortem tyrannis

( $$ ✅, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 10:27, archived)

Christopher Lee could never remember it all

(97800, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 12:20, archived)

I went to see that Bohemian Rhapsody fillum last night.
It'd make an excellent case study for the debate of whether it's more important to be slavishly accurate with every tiny detail of what happened or to capture the feeling of an era and tell a good story.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 10:37, archived)

I saw a South Korean film called Microhabitat.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 11:11, archived)

Any good?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 11:14, archived)

aye

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 11:32, archived)

South Korean film called Microhabi
a i
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 11:36, archived)

it was a photo of you LOL

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 11:43, archived)

holy shit!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 11:48, archived)

Baldmonkey lives

(97800, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 12:18, archived)

Grand Slam of Farts.
twitter.com/Nozza_/status/1063718435811667969
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 11:12, archived)

Bum thundered and eighty!

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 15:09, archived)

Let's spray sharts!

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sat 17 Nov 2018, 17:27, archived)

New thread
Same as the old thread
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 21:59, archived)

Alright smash.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 22:12, archived)

I'm@about an inch away from going full basket case
Shouldn't be online feeling like this
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 22:18, archived)

Oh dear. Well I hope you can find support if you need it.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 22:24, archived)

all things must pass
hang on in there
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 22:36, archived)

I know.
Trying to convince my family things will be what they will be seems like a lost cause
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 22:50, archived)

just smile and nod for a bit - that usually works
til the next time...
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 23:12, archived)

but without not-stuj going on a turbo-ignore-fest and everyone else lolling at it?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 22:39, archived)

/links could do with a dose of stuj right now -
- might liven the place up a bit
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 23:16, archived)

Yesssssss.
metro.co.uk/2018/11/15/may-quits-with-immediate-effect-after-poor-performance-8143408
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 16:31, archived)

you saucy tease

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 16:40, archived)

I almost came.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 16:41, archived)

Why would people who aren't hard right Tories want May to quit?

( mongychops, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 16:57, archived)

Lol, that butthurt beaker's put me on 2.0 as well.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 17:30, archived)

Stuj has drunken episodes, he's not that stable

( mongychops, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 17:40, archived)

I diagnose an acute case of "Spanishfly syndrome".

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 17:44, archived)

nice one, 2 can

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 17:46, archived)

it's nice having him around
like a window into the way b3ta used to be. largely because he's still running the same old jokes into the ground
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 18:01, archived)

Yeah, I was glad to see him again.
I didn't know he had his uppity episodes like this.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 18:04, archived)

Oh yeah, he's fallen out with me loads of times

( mongychops, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 18:40, archived)

He's taken me off 2.0 now.
Alright, Stuj.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 19:05, archived)

And yet /talk is still all shit posts all the time
A reassuring constant in a sea of change
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 19:52, archived)

Be the change you want to see

(97800, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 20:13, archived)

I do try for a morning thread

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 20:24, archived)

you don't try at all
you lazy ungrateful cuck cunt
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 20:43, archived)

The yesterday in the url kind of spoils it

(97800, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 19:18, archived)

Dave Trouser is old and shit and senile
How are yoi "down with the yoot"?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 10:46, archived)

I know what a Pokémon is.
That's still relevant, right?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 10:48, archived)

only among sad middle aged blokes trying to hold onto their lost youth

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 10:53, archived)

...shit.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 10:55, archived)

Don't listen to 'em Aardvark!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 11:21, archived)

You say something?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 12:19, archived)

I couldn't give a fuck about them

( $$ ✅, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 10:51, archived)

I stay "fresh" and "reem" by keeping up with new music and sounds.
and also having ITVBe or MTV in the background some days.
They have a show where "celebrities" deliberately put shit tattoos on people they know.

HAHHAHA LOL
WOT ARE THEY LIKE?!

Stupid. That's what.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 10:55, archived)

What the fuck is "reem"?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 10:57, archived)

it comes from tacreem, which is a cunty little animal that compares everything and chooses the worst option
if the tacreem chooses, then that thing is reem.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 11:03, archived)

So you're saying GeordieJay is trying to be the worst choice of a cunty animal?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 11:04, archived)

^^^ not reem

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 12:24, archived)

Me, that's what.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 12:24, archived)

if my son is anything to go by, the yout' are not all that down with it themselves, as he listens mostly to eminiem and 50 cent

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 10:57, archived)

sorry to hear that, mate

( $$ ✅, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 10:58, archived)

I accept that the natural order of things is for him to find music that I don't like

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 11:04, archived)

I'm totally "down with the yoot" now because the average age of my colleagues is about 25.
So I get to listen to the girls spaz out about the latest Fantastic Beasts film and sing songs from The Lion King and talk about the Kardashians and their crotchfruit at lunchtime, when they're not glued to their phones.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 11:02, archived)

i'm surrounded by the cunts
so i absorb yootspeak by osmosis
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 11:10, archived)

I would expect you have several yoots trapped in your beard.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 11:23, archived)

I regard you as this forum's "voice of youth".

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 12:52, archived)

Got two teenage kids ain't I, so I'm well hip and cool

( mongychops, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 11:14, archived)

ain't nobody dope as me, i'm just so fresh, so clean

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 11:17, archived)

I dab near constantly

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 16 Nov 2018, 11:32, archived)

Sneezing into your elbow doesn't count.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 11:43, archived)

Need to learn Orange Justice, m8.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 12:55, archived)

I listened to a Janelle Monae record the other day.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 12:23, archived)

brexit

      (_)
     (___)
      | |_______
      | |`-._`-.)
      | |`-._`-(__________
      | |    `-.| :|    |:)
      | | _ _ _ | :|    |(__________
      | |-------| :|    |:| _.-'_.-'|
      | |       |`:|    |:|'_.-'_.-'|
      | |_______|--      -|'_.-'    |
      | |- - - -|         |' _ _ _ _|
      | |     _.|__      _|---------|
      | | _.-'_.|-:|    |:|         |
      | |'_.-'_.|':|    |:|_________|
      | |~~~~~~~| :|    |:|- - - - -|
      | |       | :|    |:|`-._     |
      | |       '~~~~~~~~~|`-._`-._ |
      | |                 |`-._`-._`|
      | |                 '~~~~~~~~~~
      | |

( $$ ✅, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 13:02, archived)

^ last hurrah from the vassal state

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 13:03, archived)

When Boris becomes PM, Rees-Mogg Chancellor of the Exchequer and Raab Deputy PM this country will be great again

( $$ ✅, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 13:05, archived)

Hahahaohgodwe'reallfucked.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 13:19, archived)

I looked up the definition of that and it seemed to better describe the uk-us special relationship.
Which neoliberal like mogg get moist at.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 13:22, archived)

IBHD
TDOB
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 13:34, archived)

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Gove saying he won't be Brexit Secretary unless he's allowed to renegotiate the deal, which May and EU leaders have already said is impossible, and then he comes out with "I think it's absolutely vital that we focus on getting the right deal in the future and making sure that in the areas that matter so much to the British people we can get the right outcome."
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 13:10, archived)

Gove is such an odd bugger

( $$ ✅, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 13:16, archived)

He's somewhere between Pob and Mr. Bean.
I love Laurie Penny's New Statesman article about Brexit: "This was a working-class revolt, but it is not a working-class victory. That’s the tragedy here. The collective howl of rage from depressed, deindustrialised parts of the country bled white and reckless by Thatcher, Blair and Cameron has turned into a triumph for another set of elites. Another banking crisis, another old Etonian in power – that’s what we’ve got to look forward to as Scotland decides when to let go of the rope and the union splinters into jagged shards and we all realise we’re stuck on a rainy rock with Michael Gove, forever."
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 13:20, archived)

gawd it makes you proud to be british, don't it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 13:13, archived)

proud and erect

( $$ ✅, Fri 16 Nov 2018, 13:17, archived)