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Home » Messageboard » General election: Photoshop Tories » Message 10035533

[challenge entry] My best work.

From the General election: Photoshop Tories challenge. See all 399 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:33, archived)
# oooohhhoohhoo very swish
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:35, archived)
# Oh dear gods.
When oh when will they bring in a test to earn one's vote?

Just something along the lines of being able to name the main policies of the main parties will do.

Column inches were dedicated last week to Samantha Cameron's shoes, for fuck's sake. His ... WIFE'S ... SHOES. What the FUCK has that got to do with anything at all that will happen under a Tory government?! Arrrgh!

My need to drink and smoke heavily is only outweighed by my need to earn money to enable me to do so.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:39, archived)
# They were quite nice shoes though
what have you got against shoes?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:40, archived)
# I hate shoes
You could say I'm a pediatrist.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:41, archived)
# Burn the kiddy fiddler!
(I helped save b3ta! monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:42, archived)
# What have you got against Nigel ... Kennedy ... as a boy ...
Erm ...

Eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:43, archived)
# What are you holding against him? Eh?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:45, archived)
# My love.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:45, archived)
# That smells too cheesy to be love. It's also the wrong shape
(I helped save b3ta! monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:47, archived)
# But at least it's honest, or
"Straight up", if you prefer.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:48, archived)
# Yeah but it's not the nice kind of love.
It's spitting at him
(I helped save b3ta! monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:49, archived)
# Oh right so spitting at people's a bad thing now, is it?
I see.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:51, archived)
# Well, I suppose the ladies love it in those films
(I helped save b3ta! monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:53, archived)
# But they also like a lot of things I've never been allowed to do.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:57, archived)
# Precisely!
I've seen documentary proof that it's very popular!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:57, archived)
# It's like lesbians
All film evidence points to the fact that a good rogering will sort them out. I mean they all start off clam jousting then the cock comes along and it's all "Oh, look at that. I'll have some of that for a change"

True story
(I helped save b3ta! monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:59, archived)
# vote for the b3ta candidate
www.madcapntom.co.uk/

and you get tax-free rum

just saying
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:40, archived)
# haha, I like that "Actually Competent" sticker
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:41, archived)
# My favourite bit is
"despite all appearances, not a student"
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:43, archived)
# Hahahahhaaha
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:42, archived)
# haha
what's his b3taname?

this is the nutter from my home town who always stands for parliament: www.captainbeany.com/
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 6 May 2010, 9:47, archived)
# Um, I forget
But he is endorsed by Rob:
www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue424/
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:49, archived)
# He's Tedious.
No, silly, that's his username!
(I helped save b3ta! sunny_jimbob, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:29, archived)
# I'm of the earn yourself more votes school meself
fulltime student or employed? get an extra vote
hold a conversation about policies of the party you think you support? get an extra vote
Start more than one sentence a month with "the thing that frightens me..."? lose a vote
Think you can not vote and still bitch about the result afterwards? Gas chamber.
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:44, archived)
# *votes*
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:46, archived)
# erm... there aren't many things during this election run-in that have had anything to do with government.
See David Cameron jogging like a chubby prick.


What frustrates me most is that UK politics seems to be fuck all to do with personal accountability, but rather the majority of focus from Labour and the Conservatives seems to be on making the other look bad. I'm sure it's something that has manifested itself out of the culture, but it's so tiresome and seems to come down to the party with the best insults wins.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:53, archived)
# Yes, this.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:56, archived)
# in fact, it's not just making each other look bad makes me angry
it's the insulting of anyone who opposes their views... see, as a good example Nadine Dorries vs. Tim Ireland on /links, or indeed, the last 2 or 3 years of bloggerheads.

"Could you explain/defend yourself please?"

"SHUT UP YOU HOMOSEXUAL STALKER"

what?
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:00, archived)
# Hahahaha.
Technically speaking, of course, "Racist" or/and "Your mum" wins any argument at all.

I'd like to see both phrases used more in the HoC.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:31, archived)
# someone said the other day
it comes down to voting for the party you detest the least.

I watched all three debates, and followed the news constantly the last month, but I still don't know what Dave is going to do about the economy, public services, immigration.
He's promised to ring fence the NHS from cuts, whilst reducing administrators and cutting managers pay. So, not ringfencing the NHS then.
He's said he'd cut Whitehall expenses, but wants to use smaller (and presumably more expensive) contractors... so not saving money.

It's all smoke and mirrors
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:58, archived)
# I'm applying for a job in the NHS
so I'm obviously rather nervous.

A friend of mine didn't know who to vote for (also didn't know anything about any of the parties), and had apparently decided at the weekend that Tory was the best choice, based on a conversation with a taxi driver about Trident...

After killing myself repeatedly, I managed to persuade her that she was mental and that I would never speak to her again if she voted Tory. She is now firmly against voting for them. I think.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:03, archived)
# I've not been bothering with evangelising this time
i discovered www.whoshouldyouvotefor.com and I've been spamming it like because I'd prefer people to vote for the people that actually represent them. A clued up Tory voter much better than a clueless lib dem voter.

This is why mandatory voting and compulsory citizen classes are a fucking good idea
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:06, archived)
# that's rather good
much better than the other questionnaire thingies i've done.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:14, archived)
# its ace because it actually explains to you what your choices mean.
just like the news ought to

(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:16, archived)
# my results
84 Green
74 Lib Dem
-12 Lab
-13 UKIP
-28 Tory

Having already voted Lib Dem this morning, I'm happy that it appears I've been paying attention
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:00, archived)
# Charles Hawtrey?
(I helped save b3ta! Richard Shitheels, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:40, archived)
# Nice work fella!
I was going to get the Sun today, to read about harry's boys exploits last night.
I saw the cover, and ran to the Grauniad
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:43, archived)
# It would have been a better cover if they'd just had a photo of Cameron, blacked up.
I'm sure there's one somewhere in the annals of the Bullingdon Club, alongside one of Cameron birching his fag for not shining his shoes properly, and Boris Johnson hazing his Filipino houseboy.

Lovely work, by the way!
(I helped save b3ta! dotmund .co.uk, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:43, archived)
# Thanks :)
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:44, archived)
# high class.
I remember when Murdoch used to be a cheeky, hilarious, somewhat mentally retarded maverick renegade with the A-team. How times have changed. Take at look at yourself Murdoch. When did it all go wrong? When did you turn into a right-wing Australian megalomanic? Was it after series 5?
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:49, archived)
# Haaaaaaaahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:51, archived)
# When you get parodied by a bond movie you really ought to know you're an evil fuck
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:52, archived)
# You know, when I was a very young kid, it was the tail-end of the Cold War, and watching Bond films frightened me
As I thought the Russians might take offence at being portrayed as the bad guys, and, well - bomb us.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:57, archived)
# The Bond people were very careful never to portray the Russians as bad guys
In From Russia with Love, Rosa Klebb is KGB, but she's working for Spectre.
In Goldeneye Orumov is a Russian general, but working for Sean Bean's Janus organisation.

Sorry, I'll shut up
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:00, archived)
# Gay.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:33, archived)
# This is very good
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:49, archived)
# Fight the power ! :D
Keep up the good work that man :)
(I helped save b3ta! w00tAlohrs Où peux-je cacher ces noix de coco?, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:15, archived)
# I was slightly more gutter...
(dieselmonkey, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:57, archived)
# troo
(I helped save b3ta! lord bofingham, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:03, archived)