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Uh oh...

CFB Do it, wuss!

From the An Accident Waiting to Happen challenge. See all 379 entries (closed)

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sinisterduck, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:35, archived)

hahaah

how true

I had some cunty little man try to snuggle into me last night.. and some dickhead bitch with a book try to elbow me out of my seat this morning.. I`ll not say what I did :)

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Reckless_Rik, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:42, archived)

please

tell us, tell us...

(BadKitty Moo! Said Zebedee......, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:44, archived)

Aaaw tell us Rik

and good 'ning to you

edit: mindpisses!

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:44, archived)

morning sir

well I know you`re not supposed to hit women... and I didn`t

her elbow was horizontal, poking into me, so I lifed my left arm and elbowed her downwards with a little bit of force.. she nearly shit herself

also had a bloke barge past (and into me) trying to get on an escalator.. amazing how a little clip to the heel sends them flying

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Reckless_Rik, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:49, archived)

You are teh commuter ninja

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Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:50, archived)

just can`t be arsed with inconsiderate bastards

not my fault the service is shit and they want to crush themselves into veal crates

I love it when there`s a scrum to get on.. being quite a "sturdy" bloke, I squeeze on, get into a reasonable position and make sure I don`t move when everybody else is trying to crush in when the doors are closing

"can you move up please?"
"no I fucking can`t - there`s no room.. now fuck off"

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Reckless_Rik, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:54, archived)

That's exactly what I'd do.

If I wasn't five foot six.

/shortarse.

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Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:55, archived)

you can headbutt

crotches then

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sinisterduck, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:56, archived)

We can all do that.

We all do that.

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gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:01, archived)

That's my tactic exactly

tomorrow I have to take the Amsterdam subway again, which I think is quite comparable.

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:57, archived)

are the people over there not a bit more chilled?

in London, where there`s mobile phone availability, it`s all friggin` "yeah, we`ve just closed a 14 million pound deal"

or "yeah... can you get me some of the stuff you got last week? yeah how much? yeah 2 quid each? sorted"

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Reckless_Rik, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:01, archived)

In the quiet hours

everyone seems very much asleep.

But in the rush hours things can get very grim.

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:06, archived)

nah

amsterdam is suprisingly stressed compared to the rest of the netherlands

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drunkenoaf, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:12, archived)

You sound like you could use one of my inventions:

The pedestrian horn - It fits snugly in the palm of your hand and makes as much noise as a semi-trailor.

Perfect for those times when the train is on the platform and there's a doddering old lady blocking your path.

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gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:59, archived)

hahaha

shouting "FOR FUCK SAKE!" doesn`t always work :(

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Reckless_Rik, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:02, archived)

Still, I plan on pretending to be deaf and senile when I'm older...

I can't wait to be able to complain about not being able to buy a single egg (as opposed to a carton) at the local cornershop.

I'll barge my way to the front of every queue like it's normal, and piss wherever I want to.

Being an old fart is going to rock!

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gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:05, archived)

sounds like a London teenager to me..

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Reckless_Rik, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:12, archived)

when I came back from a conference in Greece

I had a broken ankle, a big suitcase, a backpack, another bag and a poster tube.

some twat pushed me into a barrier in Kingscross at the bottom of the stairs near the exit, and I called them a stoat bothering cunt badger. Then they turned round and helped me get my suitcae up the stairs

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swaza I'm bad, I'm bad. You know it. I'm bad., Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:00, archived)

that`s schizophrenia for you ;)

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Reckless_Rik, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:02, archived)

haha

also, just minutes after that some cockney bloke came up to me and started talking whilst his wife/accomplice went behind me and tried to open my bag. I just told him to fuck off before I break her arm.

What a lovely place London is. I wouldn't mind but I was only there for 30 min that day.

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swaza I'm bad, I'm bad. You know it. I'm bad., Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:06, archived)

it`s a hole

a depressing, expensive, dirty hole

.. bit like Cherie Blair`s arse

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Reckless_Rik, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:13, archived)

hahahahaha

you just made me snortle - which is a first

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swaza I'm bad, I'm bad. You know it. I'm bad., Wed 13 Apr 2005, 10:19, archived)

there's nothing you like better

than to be pressed up to a cunty little man, don't deny it!

'Ning kids!

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Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:49, archived)

Tell us please.

I've just head some lovely pain killers (co-dydramol - yay) - and I may need to go for a sleep soon. Wouldn't want to miss out.

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Bohica Anne Frank's Bukkaki Tentacle Storm, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:49, archived)

you should have presented the book bitch

with one of your John 'cnut' McCrrirririrck cards.

(lemonymillenniumbaboon, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:51, archived)

there are cards?

woo! like Top Trumps?

*parrrrrrrp*

*trumps*

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Reckless_Rik, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:54, archived)

looks suitable

for mass card production.
I suggest a 67-33% split in the profits.
/actually we'd better bung a few quid to alien horse too - BEWARE

(lemonymillenniumbaboon, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 9:57, archived)